Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

Actually, you are wrong. Babies and young children (along with adults) died from dehydration. Why? Because there wasn't even water- what makes you think there was formula? Wouldn't you need water? We're talking about the first few days here. I'm sorry but I watched the news constantly and there were PLENTY of stories of babies dying from dehydration.

As a mother of 2 children I am for breastfeeding and bottle feeding. With my first child I tried breastfeeding for about 4 weeks but I was so sore from it and she had literally tore my nipples up. I tried everything to see if the problem could be corrected. I felt like a failure when I decided to bottle feed her. So when I had my second child I swore that I would breastfeed since I couldn't with my first. Well, this time it wasn't painful and it seemed so natural; but my second child was loosing weight drastically. So I went to the hospital where I had the child and spoke with a lactation consultant. She had hooked me up to a pump to see how much milk I was producing and I just wasn't producing enough. So I had to bottle feed, or my child wouldn't get the nourishment needed. 

  

I feel that it's a right that a mother has to choose what is best for their child. Some women aren't just able to breastfeed and so they have to make the right choice for their child. 

Thank you for your polite reply.  I didn't get a chance to watch tv much over here, but have been reading the reports through online newspapers (NY Times, Washington Post, Seattle Times) and magazines  (Time & Newsweek). Those reports appear to be much different than what you've watched.   I haven't read about anyone's personal experience going through such a tragedy as watching a baby die from dehydration.   I really am inclined to doubt the --- "I heard it through this that someone knew someone" type of annecdotal evidence.  Sorry to be such a doubting Thomas.  I've just learned to give TV news a LOT of skepticism when it's reporting disasters.    But I"ll look into what you are saying when I have more time.   

  

 I know that approximately 945 bodies have been discovered since the hurricane.  Nothing has been said about babies or adults dying from dehydration in what I've read.  I believe more people died than this number, but so far, there's no evidence for it. Others are amazed too.  I believe that more time will give us all a chance to absorb what has actually happened. 

  

As to dehydration & babies dying from lack of nursing because their mothers bottlefed....Lack of water for the mother is just as deadly as none for a baby's formula.   If I as the mother am dehydrated, my body shuts down its milk production pretty quick.  I know this for a fact after a doctor mistakenly prescribed me a homeopathic medicine of Nettle extract to clear up edema in my leg.  Within 5 days,  I was having problems staying hydrated no matter how much water I was drinking. My daughter's consumption of breastmilk was almost nil by the 5th day.   It was a wretched experience and I hope to never go through that again.    

The irony is that nettle extract is given for a couple of days to new mothers having difficulty with milk production.  1 or 2 days is ok.... but not the time I was on it for.  Thank the internet for independent research.  I came off the stuff immediately and within 24 hours things were back to normal.  Luckilly she's a toddler and get her hydration from elsewhere, but it was really rough during that time with the hot weather.     

  

  

for doing what was right for you & your baby.  You'd said at one point  you felt "like a failure when I decided to bottle feed her" even after you'd done everything possible to figure out how to correct the problem.  I don't think that moms who are just unable to breast feed should be made to feel like they're less nurturing or like they were "unable to fulfill" their duties as a mother.  That's ridiculas.   

  

I love the idea of women breast feeding & certainly understand the benefits to it & why a woman would make this their first choice but life doesn't always allow for this &/or there are sometimes other factors.  I did feel I'd missed out when this wasn't an option to me.  Having know MANY mothers that did indeed breast feed & for lenghtly periods of time I came to realize there are pros & cons to everything & we all make the best decisions we can & for reasons that are our own.   

  

I've not problem with women nursing in public & agree that if someone doesn't like it that just to bad for them.  I don't think it's something that should be hidden or to be ashamed of etc. On the other hand if someone is a bit shy about doing this in public I don't think they need to be questioned on that either "why do you feel embarrassed"?  Who are these people to question the reasona person is the way they are?   

  

I agree with you I believe it is a right that a mother be able to choose *freely & without guilt* what is right for her & her child.   

I had thought that dehydration would interupt milk production too & really so many things have an effect on milk production.   Again that's those pros & cons at work & they apply to all of our life choices right?  I'm sorry to hear what you'd gone through & see even when it's a doctor informing us sometimes we have to figure it out on our own with reading/advice of others/research & then go back & question the doctor & do what is right for us.  Even when doing the research we have to take it all into consideration (like prior experiences & advice of experts etc.) because the guidlines & trends change over the course of time.  What we decide to do when parenting can be very difficult but in the end it is our responsibility & so I think the decisions have to be made by us for us.  I think it's experiences like the one you'd had that teaches us to follow our instinks as a parent of what is right & what our needs are etc.  When you are in the middle of things that aren't right it just seem so wrong whatever decision you'd made but boy when it starts to smooth out & it begins working it turns into heaven doesn't it?   

  

I remember friends who had a wealth of experience bringing home a new born & on day 2 being ready to jump off a bridge because it can be such a crazy time trying to really settle in & people think you're just going to slip right back into your old routine.  That's when we use to all gohelp each other to make it a bit easier.  At the beginning we'd all be crazy & then a month or so later we really were glowing with this new baby.  :)  it was heaven.   

  

I was watching the news pretty close at the time & I didn't hear of any baby dying of dehydration though I did here all the horrible stories about people being murdered & the news was pretty graphic with the descriptions of the murders including the children.  Most of this turned out not to be true or now it's all being doubted.  When people are passionate about something I think it's easy to get carried away.  But I also just think it's cruel to put the responsibility of the death of a baby on a mother because she was bottle feeding.  For me to sit here & point out how it could be just as easy in reverse would be me doing the same.  This was a natural disaster & people are still reeling from the pain of the after math.  It really is painful.  I would have hoped that as people who are so *nurturing* there'd be more compassion for others once it was pointed out that people in pain could be reading these message boards.  I know there where & are a lot of stupied things said by a lot of ignorant people about breast feeding here but I'm not sure why these people in answering them keep wanting to make people  who bottle feed feel bad because of their life choice.  Isn't that the whole point of this up coming show that women should be able to choose freely to breast feed in public without ridicule?  Saying that doesn't mean we need to cut down people who don't breast feed.  I thank you for trying to add rational to the conversation.  It's really nice to see because when women really start to share things they really do learn & understand better.  Again thank you!   

  

opps the line wrap messed up the links: http://www.promom.org/nno/ should work. sorry.

 Agreed.  The people that think a women needs to go to the restroom to nurse her child, should go to public restroom sometime and try to eat while sitting on a toilet and see how they like it!

I volunteer at an after school program in Washington, DC.  Most of the youth I work with come from single parent families and do not spend a lot of time with their parents (because the parents work).  The Junior High and High School age youth are very sexually physical with each other most of the time.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they are thinking.  These youth are not getting the information they need at home to make an informed decision and often the school is the only source of information.  It is very important to me that all of these youth are able to continue their education without the concerns of raising a child.  I speak very candidly with the youth about sex and the consequences including STD's and children.  I do not personally provide condoms to youth, but I do not have a problem with schools making them available to the youth as long as education accompanies them. 

  

I think a lot of people are unaware of what goes outside of their own homes.  Just because you plan to educate your child on the dangers of sex does not mean that all children are given the opportunity to learn from their parents.  I think the most important thing is that the youth are educated so they can make the best decision for them. 

I believe you have misunderstood my post. Since you "choose" not to breastfeed, my information was not directed at you, but just at people who might be reading your posts. My information would have been better phrased. Let me rephrase: Some mothers feel guilty when they cannot breastfeed. I wish they would feel angry and not guilty. While true that some mothers will not be able to exclusively breastfeed their babies, the most common problems are not the mothers fault. Instead of feeling guilty, mothers should be angry at: outdated hospital routines based on bottle feeding, uneducated doctors and nurses, well-meaning but misinformed friends and family, misleading "information" from companies that have a financial interest in a mothers failure to breastfeed. All these society complications make breastfeeding difficult, even impossible for some mothers and babies. Protection from misinformation is available. http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/breastfeedinginfo/a/aanho1.htm http://www.LaLecheLeague.org http://breastfeeding.com http://promom.org http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/breastfeeding/ It was directed at those mothers who feel like they "failed" when they attempted to breastfeed. I do firmly believe that mothers who "fail" when they attempt to breastfeed, "fail" for these reasons and that the locations to "educate themselves" are needed for mothers who want to breastfeed. Your years of experience and many people around you support your decision which makes you feel good, but the resourses I have listed will provide support for other people's decisions and surround them with "many people" to support them while they breastfeed. You would support a relative who was breastfeeding. You would want to be educated about how to support them and have the information they would need to suceed.

I am curious about people's feelings about disciplining other peoples' children.  I have worked with children from infants to 18 year olds for the last 15 years and often find myself in the situation where a child is acting up, endangering themselves or others and the parent is not close enough or paying enough attention to say anything.  I will always correct a child if the child is doing something dangerous whether the parent is around or not.  I have had a fair share of parents upset with me because of this, but I do not care.  My greatest concern is the safety of the child and others around them.  I am never rude and I try to explain to the child why they are being corrected.  Usually the parent will just glare at me, but I did have one particularly neglectful parent (she was at least 20 feet away from the child and the child was near me, putting me at risk with his behavior) yell at me.  I just take it in stride.  I do not EVER put my hands on anther person's child, however, i just explain to the child that their behavior is inappropriate and why. 

  

What are other's thoughts on this issue?