Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

I can't believe that there is such a problem with breastfeeding in public.  I also can't believe that the woman that was against it said to go into the bathroom and do it.  If she had to go into a restroom and stand for 20 to 3 minutes and feed her child then she would change her mind really fast about the subject.  What are you to do go into a stall and sit on the toilet and just wait until the child is done?  I think that if there were more places in the US like Okinawa, Japan then this would not be an issue.  In some of the Okinawan stores they have separate changing areas ( not in the bathrooms) that have little areas within them that you can go into and close a curtain and feed your child in privacy.  When I was breastfeeding my daughter I used a receiving blanket to cover us and there were not parts of my breast exposed.  You can not just sit at home and wait until you child is weaned and using a cup before you take them places.  How do you expect to teach your child to act in public if you do this?  Not only that but how do you live your life?Do rely on the rest of the world to do you errand for you so you can be at home when you child is hungry?    

What's the logic on this?  Skimply clothes for sex attention is fine, but oh no there goes that lady feeding her baby again with her breast showing oh please get a reality check here.  

I agree with  this quote Shame on American for the way they think and act!!!! 

I just watched Dr. Phil’s show and was interested by the debate over strangers having the right to step in and correct other people’s children.  I do not disagree with either side.  There have definitely been times I wish I had the guts to tell a parent to deal with their child.  Instead I smile and try to make the parent feel more comfortable and okay--because I know my kids have their moments also and I would really appreciate the same patience and kindness shown to me (even if it's fake).  I do not recommend any person to ever try to take charge of my child--as Dr. Phil said--this is one Momma that would "open a can of whoop ass".  You got a problem bring it to me, of course I'll still be offended and tell you to mind your own business or go somewhere else.

Here's my issue:

If you try to keep your kids in line and be strict with them people think you are abusive and call CPS on you.  If you try to be the patient relaxed mom then people think you are a horrible slovenly parent.  It's a double edged sword and no matter what you do you're wrong.

I have so many friends that absolutely refuse to punish their children in public because they are scared they will have their kids taken from them!!  Their kids no they can get away with horrible behavior when their in public and so they take advantage.  People look at them; give them dirty looks and horrible remarks.

I think I am one of the few that I will spank my kids in public (I have two boys ages 4 and 2).  I try to keep my kids in line and acting appropriately.  And then I get dirty looks and snide remarks.  I by no means beat my children. I have yet to leave a red mark on their legs or rear.  I spank them to get their attention and let them no I am serious.  This is as a last resort---if talking to them has not resolved the problem and if trying to distract or time out (if possible in public) or any other way I can think of does not have my children acting appropriately then I have no problem spanking my kids right there in the middle of the isle or where ever.  I'll try to go to the bathroom to deal with this problem, but if it is serious enough that I feel it merits immediate action then they get it.  People think I'm horrible.  My friends have walked away from me embarrassed or so that people around do not think we're together.  They have asked am I worried that someone will call the cops on me.  I just laugh, because I know that if CPS was sent to my house they would quickly know that my children were loved, healthy, happy and most definitely not abused. 

 My point is, it’s not fair and it’s confusing to parents.  Especially those who care what every one else thinks about them and their parenting skills.  I say if it’s not your kids and you don’t know the person mind your own business.  Go to another isle in the store or a restaurant that is not family friendly (where you’re less likely to find kids) to get away from what makes you uncomfortable.  Unless, of course you are witnessing true child abuse—then step in.  Every family has their own way of raising their kids and they should be aloud to have their way.  Kids will be kids and sometimes will act disruptive in public.  Maybe I’m wrong but I think if you don’t like kids or their disruptive and sometimes not so good behaviors then find activities, places, hobbies (whatever) that are less family friends and more adult friendly.  Examples-- wine tasting, a romantic dinner cruise, etc.  Don’t expose yourself to the atmospheres that are going to upset you—like being around kids, because you know that kids will be kids.  And don’t expect us parents to sit at home or try to discipline our children in a way that will please you.  Because we're damnd if we do and if we don't --we may please your expectations but offend others. 

I literally spit water all over my keyboard when I read this reply.  Thank you for enlightening my evening! 

I am still breastfeeding my 28 month old son.  Do I plan to stop soon?  Who knows.  When he was young I breastfed in public with and without a blanket to cover up with.  Honestly, I ditched the blanket when my son started kicking it off because he was too hot.  I was also too hot to be covered up.  I then learned that when I breastfed and when all the women I have seen breastfeeed, we are not exposed. 

My son had a milk allergy, I simply removed dairy from my diet and he stopped screaming in pain.  It was a very simple solution to a could have been stressful extended scavenger hunt. 

I will NEVER breastfed any of my children in a public restroom.  Would you eat your lunch sitting on a public toilet?  Would you feed your child formula while sitting on a public toilet?   

I think the big issue against breastfeeding in public is due to the thinking that breasts are solely a sexual object.  Something that should be hidden.  Unless you try breastfeeding I don't think you can truly understand what the connection truly is.   

There isn't anytihng wrong with a woman breastfeeding in public.  I think most people on here have said that.  But I don't feel a woman should have to go out of her way to cover up either.  That doesn't mean I think she needs to remove her shirt and bra but I don't see why she should have to cover herself and her baby with a blanket either.  IMO its hot and uncomfortable.  I am not going to put down anyone that bottle feeds but I will say that it is medically proven breastfeeding is better so if anything society should go out of its way to make breastfeeding mothers more comfortable.  Why should a breastfeeding woman have to cover her breast while feeding her child and a bottle feeding mother not have to cover her bottle?  God gave us breasts to nurse our children so when using them in that manner there is nothing obscene or otherwise offensive about it. 

As far as passing out condoms in school I give that a big NO.  Yes many kids are going to have sex despite what they are told but they can get condoms from their parents if they feel that is appropriate or go to the drug store and buy some.  I mean, despite what they are told many kids are going to use drugs too.  Does that mean schools should start passing out clean needles to help prevent them from getting AIDS? 

I honestly  get sick to my stomach when I hear people hating to see a mother breast feed. I see it is as normal and natural as anything a human can do.  Breast feeding has become NASTY, DIRTY over the past 50 years-
Oh, please tell me why? 

My youngest child is 18 years old, I breast feed all 4 of my kids. I felt like an outcast. Like I couldn't ever go out in public. I was also decent -decreit. I never flashed my breast all over, I always used a blanket over my shoulder. But, the baby might move and swing their arm and flip the blanket for a moment or another person "might know what you are doing'!!!! Oh, My God The Shame!! - You are feeding your child! 

It honestly makes me ill that such a natural part of life with your child has become a no-no!!!!I Don't want to see it! Go into a filthy restroom and feed your baby! Dr. Phil - why on earth are you not the number 1 spokesman to get these people in line?!?!?!? Do you not think women should feed their babies?  Problem is, if you are a breast feeding mom - you can not go anywhere as you feel like an outcast - talk about isolation!!!  iWhy on earth is this so disgusting to people? I was shamed a number of times and trust me - I didn't flip out my boob!!!!! Most moms who breast feed would never be sexual about it. Why on earth are breast just boobs for a mans pleasure? Why have "boobs" lost their propose> why can't we as woman reclaim our right to feed our babies????