Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

I breastfed all of my 4 children and have never been asked to leave anywhere or go to the bathroom.  (I would never eat in a bathroom or nurse a baby there!)    I have nursed at NHL hockey games, the circus, at school, church, the mall, the pool, beach on a train, on a bus, on a plane and been discreet, but sometimes my babies would get distracted and then I would be exposed, but I was okay with that.  I would just pull my top back down.  In North Carolina I have rights to feed my baby even if I am exposed.  I could never use a blanket my babies would pull it off or get too hot.   

I think that being discreet is good, but I don't feel that breastfeeding should be  "hidden" or a mother should feel ashamed.  People in the US need to remember that Breast are designed to breastfeed!  (I see more breasts on the covers of most grocery store magazines.)   When I see a mother in public nursing, I try to encourage her and say You're doing a great job! 

When you are pregnant your body is preparing to breastfeed even if you aren't.  I remember seeing a new mother who had just given birth on the news after hurricane Katrina asking how she was going to feed her baby.  The water was bad and they had no formula.  It just doesn't make any sense to me that no one would tell her that her milk would be best for the baby.   Also all the mothers that were abandoned on the highway after Rita could have benefited from breastfeeding.  Here is a great emergency breastfeeding resource.   http://www.lalecheleague.org/emergency.html 

Okay I could go on and on about why breast is best...  I could also tell you that before I had children or breastfed, I was one of the ignorant people who did not believe that a mother should breastfed past 6 weeks or in public.  It is amazing how much I have been educated by my children in 12 years.   

:-) 

Sandra 

I trained as a crisis counselor many years ago and one of the things we learned was not to worry about asking a depressed person if they were thinking about hurting themself.  Trust me - someone that depressed has already considered the option.  Asking about it isn't going to give them the idea OR give them permission to go do it.  Asking will give them the option of opening up and talking about  what's going on with them. 

Same thing with kids and sex.  Asking them about it, teaching them about it, educating them about consequences and giving them the tools needed to keep safe are not going to give them the idea or give them permission to do it.  Handing a kid a condom isn't going to give them the idea .   Please, watch a little tv .   Pick up a teen magazine.  They are inundated with sex constantly.  Hormones are raging.  And do-gooder, right-wing politics have gutted sex education/health courses in the schools.  

 When I went thru middle school (late 1970s) we were taught about intercourse, oral sex, birth control methods, STD's, etc.  We were tested on it.  Nowadays the kids are taught only not to do it.  Abstinence.  How absolutely ridiculous.  You think parents are teaching the kids at home?  Laughable.  Most can't bring themselves to give basis information about intercourse.  Too embarressed.  Guess what...among the girls who sign abstinence contracts  the rates for unplanned pregnancy is no different than for those who don't.  OOPS!    

I also believe that breastfeeding.  Nursing mothers should have the right to breastfeed but with a little cover.  I also agree totally with this statement about sex being natural.  How would this breastfeeding mother feel if a couple decided to have sex at the table next while she and her husband where eating out.   

Codoms should be part of all teenage education as well as disease and pregnancy.  As the mother of a 16 year old daugther I want her to know all the options!  We have had several discussions.  Not having sex is MY FAVORITE!  But lets all get real and remember our teenage years!  Make sure they know all the facts and have someone to turn too! 

Dear Dr. Phil  

     I feel if we educate our kids at home and most importantly talk to our kids, not just ounce or twice but  from the time they are old enough to understand about sex, there should not be a problem with the schools giving out condoms, If we bring our kids up right and teach them right from wrong and good values,and teach them the dangers of unprotected sex and sex before marriage then we have done our part and the kids should take it from there.I had no one to  talk to me or to educate me when I was younger and I swore my kids would know what I didn't. I think I have done well with my six kids only one of my girls had a baby out of wedlock and she was 21 years old at the time,(her choise) 

                           Grammybird 

If I had my druthers I'd rather not see it, but I really don't feel strongly either way.  However, their use of the word "natural" bothered me.  Farting is natural, it relieves your discomfort--how wonderful, but you don't do it at the dinner table.  Making love is natural, it's "LOVE" for pete's sake! --but you don't do it in public.  Picking your nose is natural but you don't do it at the table.  No one wants to see this stuff!  "Etiquette" even asks that you chew with your mouth closed or leave the table to pick your teeth!!!  And EVERYONE does most of those things, but we all respect YOUR right not to see us doing them.  Like Dr. Phil said, social sensitivity.  There are just certain things other people MAY NOT want to see YOU do in public!  No matter HOW "natural". 

I'm surprised that more people have not disciplined other people's children.  I should say, 'correct' other people's children.  I cannot tell you how many children I have had to correct in the baby pool this summer when they were splashing away, swimming in the 8 inches of water that was supposed to be for toddlers and they are school age children.  I don't know where their parents are and I don't feel like it's my job to go get them.  I just ask them to stop doing whatever it is that's bothering the toddlers.  The other toddlers' parents are thankful that I've spoken up.  I've done this at playgrounds as well.  If parents would take more involvement in their child's well being they would be more intuned to realizing when their child is annoying others.  I don't think you can sit back and allow your child to run wild, while bothering others and consider yourself a good parent.  It's not my job to find you to tell you that your child is obnoxious.  My job is to protect my children and ensure they have a pleasant experience, in spite of your child.