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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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laura71
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October 7, 2005, 7:15 am PDT

It's possible to be discreet

 My first child was a two pound preemie.  Breastmilk was best for her so that is what we did.  At first I did try to go to bathrooms to nurse but have you ever stood in a restroom for 30 minutes and watched what go on in there?  Other than the obvious, this is where people go to blow their noses or have coughing fits when they are sick (kudos to them, this is the place for that).  Unfortunately, a staggering number of people do not wash their hands after various bathroom activities.  We all touch the same handles, surfaces, etc.  This is the worst place to be  with a preemie who is naturally susceptible to diseases.  It is possible to be discreet without covering up.  Mine would never keep a blanket on, either.  I wore appropriate clothes that allowed me to be covered.  I used a sling when they were small and that was total coverage.  We would try to get a corner table or at least a wall table so I could turn away from the majority of people.   My children were never hungry and I never endured disgusted looks.

With so many clothing styles that bare so much and leave very little to the imagination, its surprising that this would be singled out as disgusting. 
 
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painterse
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October 7, 2005, 7:17 am PDT

are you kidding?

Quote From: tabsmom

I also believe that breastfeeding.  Nursing mothers should have the right to breastfeed but with a little cover.  I also agree totally with this statement about sex being natural.  How would this breastfeeding mother feel if a couple decided to have sex at the table next while she and her husband where eating out.   

  

Codoms should be part of all teenage education as well as disease and pregnancy.  As the mother of a 16 year old daugther I want her to know all the options!  We have had several discussions.  Not having sex is MY FAVORITE!  But lets all get real and remember our teenage years!  Make sure they know all the facts and have someone to turn too! 

I cannot believe you are comparing sex to breastfeeding.  That is a ridiculous.
 
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vprosser
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October 7, 2005, 7:18 am PDT

Breastfeeding is natural

There is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about breastfeeding your baby, no matter where it occurs.  I have breastfed all 3 of my sons wherever I needed to.  Sometimes I would cover them with blankets, other times not.  I was discreet no matter where I was, but not overly so.  I was always aware of my surroundings, taking into account others' feelings, but did not let that affect my right or need to feed my baby.  I noticed people react with curiosity, disgust, admiration, or indifference.  I received knowing smiles, and accusing frowns.  Some people seemed embarrased for noticing.  Some people did not even notice at all.  My decision to breastfeed my baby is what I believe is the best for my baby's health, regardless of where it takes place. 

  

Valerie 
 
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youtype
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October 7, 2005, 7:19 am PDT

Breastfeeding in Public

I have 4 children and very pregnant with the 5th.  I have breastfed all 4 until 18 months and plan to breastfeed the 5 as well.  I do breastfeed in public.  I do not bear all.  I am very discrete.  I think the pro-public breastfeeder on the show today was a little bit out there.  I don't think she represented us well.  I don't plan to breastfeed in a bathroom or take all of my children out of a setting to feed the baby in private.  We should use common courtesy and cover ourselves appropriately and others should understand this is the way that we do it, we are not trying to entice you sexually or offend you in anyway.
 
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volunteer
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October 7, 2005, 7:19 am PDT

nice thoughts but not for legislation

Quote From: bsuthn3622

1) I believe there should be a compromise on breastfeeding, the breastfeeding mom being as discrete as possible, covering up and/or repositioning herself, etc. 

2) I believe that condoms should be distributed in an acceptable way to all; either in vending machines w/mandatory sex ed and usage of condoms or leaving them in baskets in the nurses office and/or the sex ed class. And yes teach abstinence, revirginization and whatever can help these kids be successful in life. Let's face it when you were on the couch hot and heavy was your first thought birth control? LOL 

3) I was raised in the south where strangers do not correct other peoples children. However, when I see child abuse, I say something to the parent not too offending but to get the point across. It can be done. I'll never forget an elderly stranger saying to me that my son (18 mos) was too old for a pacifier when he had an oral fixation and it comforted him from a child's stressful situations.I was appauled! In a nut shell, people should not correct other people's kids, but maybe something in the order of my she has an awesome pair of lungs! (if she is screaming nonstop). 

I agree that moms try to be discrete and lots of people appreciate that effort. But I truely believe that we cannot make policy or law that requires discression. Discression is subjective.

For example, I believe I am discrete, but I never "cover up" by putting a blanket over my child's head. It is ok if a mom wants to do this for her comfort, bot not ok to require it.

An example of good law and a basis for a policy would be:

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Public Act 093-0942, SB 3211, enacted August 16, 2004.

Section 1. Short title. This Act may be cited as the Right to Breastfeed Act.

Section 5. Purpose. The General Assembly finds that breast milk offers better nutrition, immunity, and digestion, and may raise a baby's IQ, and that breastfeeding offers other benefits such as improved mother-baby bonding, and its encouragement has been established as a major goal of this decade by the World Health Organization and the United Nations Children's Fund. The General Assembly finds and declares that the Surgeon General of the United States recommends that babies be fed breastmilk, unless medically contraindicated, in order to attain an optimal healthy start.

Section 10. Breastfeeding Location. A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding; however, a mother considering whether to breastfeed her baby in a place of worship shall comport her behavior with the norms appropriatein that place of worship.

Section 15. Private right of action. A woman who has been denied the right to breastfeed by the owner or manager of a public or private location, other than a private residence or place of worship, may bring an action to enjoin future denials of the right to breastfeed. If the woman prevails in her suit, she shall be awarded reasonable attorney's fees and reasonable expenses of litigation

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I am also fairly certain that all new moms in Illinois get a letter in the mail from the governor that explains their right to breastfeed in public...
 
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muffypotts

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October 7, 2005, 7:19 am PDT

breastfeeding is a beautiful act of nature

i think that breast feeding is beautiful and natural. i would just like to note that people that do not like seeing women breastfeeding are just as mobile to leave or go somewhere else instead of making a fuss about a baby being nurtured by its mother. I like seeing mothers breast feeding, it just makes me feel like babies are a miracle and thats the perfect inspiration to be a mother. When i think about having a baby, i always see myself holding my miracle and watching it feed from me and i would want to share that with everyone because not everyone is able to breast feed a baby. As well, if something happens that i cannot have a baby I would like to be able to continue to see a woman breastfeeding no matter where it is.  

 

i cannot understand why anyone would not want to see this. there are worse things that you could see such as a dog licking itself, just deal with it nature is not always flattering nor was it ever meant to be. 
 
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msway0603
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October 7, 2005, 7:20 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: siap1213

Please tell me... When was the last time you saw a woman "openly and flagrantly breastfeeding in public without covering her nude body"?  Give me a break!  Do you think we just take off our clothes and latch the baby on?  An intelligent woman would not expose herself for more than a brief second, and that's usually the baby's doing.  And in my experience with talking with other breastfeeding moms, unintelligent women usually aren't the ones breastfeeding.  PLEASE stare at me when I'm breastfeeding!  That's a perfect opportunity for me to give you a smile and strike up a conversation to try to rid you of your so obvious ignorance on this subject! 

I think that there are many women who use breastfeeding as a tool. By that I mean they use them to get attention. You have got to realize that there are women "pop them out" to get a reaction almost daring someone to speak. I breastfed my kids and I had enough respect for them and pride in myself to cover coverup. Some women do not.
 
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silentone
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October 7, 2005, 7:20 am PDT

Okay...

Quote From: siap1213

Please tell me... When was the last time you saw a woman "openly and flagrantly breastfeeding in public without covering her nude body"?  Give me a break!  Do you think we just take off our clothes and latch the baby on?  An intelligent woman would not expose herself for more than a brief second, and that's usually the baby's doing.  And in my experience with talking with other breastfeeding moms, unintelligent women usually aren't the ones breastfeeding.  PLEASE stare at me when I'm breastfeeding!  That's a perfect opportunity for me to give you a smile and strike up a conversation to try to rid you of your so obvious ignorance on this subject! 

I think you're taking this personal and what he/she said wasn't really meant in that way. The lady on the show said she didn't cover up at all and she felt she shouldn't have too. I'm sure the person you replied to was addressing that and not attacking the mothers who are respectful enough to cover up.
 
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mechpmnk
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October 7, 2005, 7:21 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

I feel that breast feeding in public is fine as long as they are discreet. I don't feel that the mother should have to go into hiding to do so either. To be forced into going to the rest room to do this is a disgrace.
 
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lc34jmj
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October 7, 2005, 7:21 am PDT

Paving the Way

I have three terrific kids all of whom I breastfed. I am personally a modest person, hence I covered up in public. I felt that if I wouldn't even expose myself even just a little while breastfeeding in front of my own father, then I surely wouldn't in front of strangers.  

  

However, I DO feel it is a mother's right to breastfeed her child/ren in public as necessary to nourish them. Women who are bolder than I are paving the way for future generations of mother's who breastfeed. In what way? In that through time society as a whole will eventually become desensitized to this seemingly huge issue. As the one woman who was pro-breastfeeding in public said on the show, it will serve to normalize breastfeeding in public.  

  

It is always difficult to change the viewpoint of others since we really cannot. Yet, we can influence upcoming generations in a more positive way by resisting the temptation of "rubbing" this issue in the faces of those who are opposed to public breastfeeding. Perhaps by way of the positive portrayal of breastfeeding through various media sources, more hearts can be won over. In any event, persistence tapered with kindness for others should be the aim of mothers worldwide. With such conduct we put ourselves in a courageous light rather than an antagonistic one. 

  

Just my humble opinion :-) 

  

  
 
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