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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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October 3, 2005, 4:24 pm CDT

Condoms in School?

That is such a question without an answer.  Because it depends.  If you don't give them condoms and they get pregnant isn't that worse.  On the otherhand if you do give them condoms you are encouraging them to have sex at a young age.  I try to talk to my teenagers about the cost of diapers and how it will need to be deducted from their McDonalds paycheck along with other things if they have a baby.  I also tell my daughter that boys in high school don't have sex for love.  They have sex so they can tell their friends the grimy details.  Girls have sex for love.  Boys don't have sex for love until they grow up and even then many boys remain in the Peter Pan never grow up stage....  I think if kids have a purpose in life of chasing after dreams to become something and to pursue a career and hobbies they will be stronger to say no to temporary gratification.  But often times they come from broken homes and are trying to replace that need with their boyfriend who is too young to be mature to actually meet that need.  Because that boy flippin burgers by the grill is not gonna look as cute to you when you have kids and a boat load of bills to pay and you are both tired from working too much in 10 years.  So figure out what you are going to be and how you are going to pay the bills then have sex and kids....... 
 
October 3, 2005, 5:51 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: missjane2

QUESTION?  What age do you think a mother should stop breastfeeding her child?  17 months is still reasonably young.  Did you breast feed your kindergardener?  (Did you read carefully my post and my comment?

I do not think that a mother should stop breastfeeding her child until the child is ready to stop. Yes I did read your post and you are being judgemental of people and the way they live and parent their child. It is not for you or anyone to say when a woman should stop BF her child..what just because a doctor says so ...Please .. 

It is unfortunate for me that I could not BF due to a medical condition beyond my control, but to answer anyways , Yes I absolutly would continue to BF my kindergardener if the case should be.  Yes I agree there is a certain time when ya just gotta say whoa... but Ill be danged if someone is going to tell me when that time shall be.  

  

 
October 3, 2005, 6:25 pm CDT

DOESN'T FIT INTO TODAY'S LIFESTYLE??????????

Quote From: missjane2

Your Question: "Why would you take away the HEALTHIEST, MOST LOVING, PERFECT nourishment your child could have?!"  Well, 2 of my kids had milk allergies so that put them both on special formulas.  Honestly..... if I had another kid..... I don't think I would breastfeed for alot of reasons.  Like I said if another mom wants to do it that is fine with me.  To me it just doesn't fit into today's lifestyle.  You can spend quality time with your baby and so can others without having to breastfeed.  It is one of those personal decisions that perhaps bring benefits, but so do a whole lot of other choices.
Why not say it doesn't fit into YOUR life style. That is fine. but It Does fit into MY lifestyle as I would do it again if I had a chance. Maybe you didn't mean it the way you posted it, but we all have different life styles and becasue my children was able to have breastmilk and I chose to do it, I made sure it fit in. Maybe this is the whole issue when it comes down to it, "IT ISN'T THE LIFESTYLE OF SOCIETY SO NO ONE NEEDS TO BE DOING IT", whatever!! those who don't like it, doesn't have to watch just like those who gossip or smoke and drink, I don't have to participate. It is all a matter of choice. We may not like what other people are doing and I think it ok to express opinions and all, but we all have choices and just becasue society as a whole doesn't agree with something does not make it wrong.
 
October 3, 2005, 6:26 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: missjane2

Your Question: "Why would you take away the HEALTHIEST, MOST LOVING, PERFECT nourishment your child could have?!"  Well, 2 of my kids had milk allergies so that put them both on special formulas.  Honestly..... if I had another kid..... I don't think I would breastfeed for alot of reasons.  Like I said if another mom wants to do it that is fine with me.  To me it just doesn't fit into today's lifestyle.  You can spend quality time with your baby and so can others without having to breastfeed.  It is one of those personal decisions that perhaps bring benefits, but so do a whole lot of other choices.
Hmmm, well if your child had a milk allergy- breastmilk would have been the best thing. Secondly, you're reasoning is exactly what's wrong with society. Babies are little human beings, we as the parents are supposed to mold our lives to benefit them- they're not supposed to mold into ours (lifestyle). I think that mentally is very sad. Quality of time has nothing to do with doing what is healthiest for baby and for mom. In my opinion- if you have breasts and you have a baby and milk is coming out- it's not only an obligation but a right that child has to utmost respect in nutrition. There' s no use arguing with you. I just think it's really sad.
 
October 3, 2005, 6:57 pm CDT

Breastfeeding in public

This whole topic has me really upset, everyday I try to help women breastfeed and everywhere I go I promote that breast is best. My breastfeeding mom's say they have been given dirty looks and told to go to the bathroom to feed their babies, when in public.   I hate that it is being debated on weather we should nurse our babies in public.  Here is an update for all you mom's who formula fed by choice, our breasts produce milk as soon as your placenta is delivered because that is what breasts are for.  I don't understand why we as women, carry our babies in our wombs for 9 months and then as soon as the baby is here you think your job is done.  It is our job to make sure our babies are as healthy as they can be. Breastfeeding is the only true way to feed a human baby.     For all those mothers who chose to formula feed because they couldn't fulfill their duties, I feel sorry that you didn't get to have the experience that all of us nursing mothers had.  As for nursing your baby,toddler, older child, I think that if your child was hungry you would feed them, no matter where you are.  I think it is sad that so many women think that formula is equal to breast milk.   To all my breastfeeding peer's keep encouraging, fighting and loving your babies.  Oh and by the way your breast milk changes to meet the needs of your growing child, so breast milk is beneficial at any age.  I wish that all mom's would breastfeed, then when we are faced with natural disasters, like the hurricanes, we will not have to worry about our babies starvin, just a thought!
 
October 3, 2005, 7:17 pm CDT

Are you for Real??

Quote From: missjane2

I breastfed one of my 4 kids for 12 months.  The others I didn't.  I really don't remember breastfeeding in public.  Although it doesn't bother me to see a mom breastfeed her baby WITHOUT TEETH in public.  What would be an interesting subject is talking to mom's who breastfeed their older children.....??????  Kindergarden?  And that's not funny, but they have that Le Leche Club thing and some woman either culturally or for whatever reason go beyond what is necessarily.  At least in my opinion.  Anyone else ever hear of this?

I don't understand what teeth have to do with breastfeeding?    Did your 12 month old not have teeth? I think mom's who breastfeed older children are very wise and caring women.  Breast milk is ALWAYS a benefit,  please do some research on the topic. A very long time ago, women who were lactating would nurse the elderly, so they could keep up their strength. That is Unconditional Love. America has made breasts sexual objects instead of what they truly are.  The Le Leche League is a wonderful organization and one I'm proud to be part of.  These are groups of strong, supportive women who help mother's give their babies the best.  I understand you have something against 5 year old being breastfed, but to each his own. Turn your head and walk away, you don't need to stand and watch something you are not comfortable with. Try to support your fellow woman and you will see that we can change the ignorance surrounding breastfeeding.   

 
October 3, 2005, 9:52 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: mommy_two

This whole topic has me really upset, everyday I try to help women breastfeed and everywhere I go I promote that breast is best. My breastfeeding mom's say they have been given dirty looks and told to go to the bathroom to feed their babies, when in public.   I hate that it is being debated on weather we should nurse our babies in public.  Here is an update for all you mom's who formula fed by choice, our breasts produce milk as soon as your placenta is delivered because that is what breasts are for.  I don't understand why we as women, carry our babies in our wombs for 9 months and then as soon as the baby is here you think your job is done.  It is our job to make sure our babies are as healthy as they can be. Breastfeeding is the only true way to feed a human baby.     For all those mothers who chose to formula feed because they couldn't fulfill their duties, I feel sorry that you didn't get to have the experience that all of us nursing mothers had.  As for nursing your baby,toddler, older child, I think that if your child was hungry you would feed them, no matter where you are.  I think it is sad that so many women think that formula is equal to breast milk.   To all my breastfeeding peer's keep encouraging, fighting and loving your babies.  Oh and by the way your breast milk changes to meet the needs of your growing child, so breast milk is beneficial at any age.  I wish that all mom's would breastfeed, then when we are faced with natural disasters, like the hurricanes, we will not have to worry about our babies starvin, just a thought!
 Thank you for making the word CHOICE in bold....there are some instances when a woman has no choice but to bottlefeed.  I had to bottlefeed my first two because I was a single mother (going through divorce) and had to return to work one week after giving birth.  Because I lived in a rural place where good jobs were scarce, there was no way to find a job that would allow me to pump.  Now that I am remarried and have a 4 month old baby, I am able to stay at home with all three of my children and breastfeed for the first time.  It is amazing and makes me wonder how I ever bottlefed my other two, but I know I had no choice at the time.  Now that I do have a choice, I know that breastfeeding is the best and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
October 4, 2005, 5:33 am CDT

Thanks for the laugh, but...

Quote From: animalcat

In my opinion, I do not think women should breastfeed in public. That is not ladylike at all. If you need to do that, go find a restroom or someplace where you can have privacy. Now about the sex education, schools should not give out condoms. That is a big NO NO! Leave anything personal and private to the parents, not the teachers. Its the parents job to tell their children about sex and other things too.

being Ladylike has nothing to do with actual motherhood.  Enough with the Madonna comparison.  Time to GET REAL about the job.  I've been puked on, peed on, pooped on, experienced bouts of explosive vomiting, food dumped all over the place, and that's just with one child.  I sympathize with those who have gone through baby & toddlerhood more than once.  I have immense respect for those mothers who have more than a single child.    

  

As for nursing in a restroom --- UM -- where does one sit?  On the dirty floor?????  I haven't been in any rooms of rest with comfy & clean chairs lately.  Are there any that exist in the mundane world?   "Somewhere you can have privacy"   Try that little feat with arms full of hungry child in a public locale such as a mall or elsewhere.  It's extremely difficult to do.    

  

My munchkin just turned two and she's a real angel despite her rough health history.  She's severely allergic to milk.  Because of this, we are still a nursing couple.  It has it's ups and downs, but overall, she's healthier, more secure, and better nurished than any other option.   She was on a 60-90 minute feeding schedule when she was an infant, so we had to nurse in public.   

Once she outgrew her preemiehood at 12 months, we rarely did so.  She HATED having her head covered, and very insistent about pushing up my shirt to place her hand on my breast.  We just went to the comfy car with the nice a/c.   LIfe was much easier that way. 

  

This past week, I was travelling in Paris environs with hubby, tot, & mum-in-law.  Well, we nursed in public.  VERY PUBLIC.  Posh places like the Mars room at Versailles, Notre Dame Cathedral, Musée de Cluny, the RER train, a boat on the Seine river, oh, and my favorite.... Musée d'Orsay where she zonked out and we put her in a soft backpack then carried her through the museum. 

  

  Thankfully, everyone we encountered was much less judgemental than some on here.  My child was peaceful, calm, and rested in some very stressful places thanks to being able to nurse.  I am a large breasted woman and those very nice slitted shirts actually show more and require intense fussing with, than just bringing up the bottom and tucking everything around my child's mouth.  Covering her head would have been ridiculous.  The only time anything was in danger of 'showing' was when she was attaching herself onto the nipple.  But that's what's large hubby's are for -- to block lookyloos who can't control themselves.  No skin ever showed -- Can't say that about the Teenyboppers and fat older women going around braless in tank tops. 

  

To answer someone's snide questions about teeth and when to stop...  I really don't know what the issue is about teeth.  She got hers around 10 months -- 4 at one time.  She had gone through the guppy biting phase at 6 months and learned to open her mouth when mommy asked her to.  We dealt with it and moved on.  

  

Regarding stopping --  I figure we'll be done by next year at age 3.  Hopefully, her milk allergy will have lessened (no it's not lactose intolerance) and she'll be big enough to fill in the nutritional blanks with more food.   Since we're not currently travelling with its inherent stresses, it's only 3 times a day anyway.  No biggie.      

  

  

 
October 4, 2005, 5:38 am CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: animalcat

In my opinion, I do not think women should breastfeed in public. That is not ladylike at all. If you need to do that, go find a restroom or someplace where you can have privacy. Now about the sex education, schools should not give out condoms. That is a big NO NO! Leave anything personal and private to the parents, not the teachers. Its the parents job to tell their children about sex and other things too.
Would you eat in the bathroom!?  Most public restrooms do not have nice lounge areas. Most are dirty and the only place to sit is on the toilet, which, do not have lids.  So you want me to sit on an open toilet and feed my baby just to avoid less than a minute of *gasp* *nipple exposure*?  I get offended by overweight people eating bacon cheeseburgers, extra-large sized fries, and gallons of soft drinks. Perhaps they also should go eat in the bathroom.
 
October 4, 2005, 6:03 am CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: serez03

You are right it is public school so why are drugs, sex and crime in public schools!  There are also people who don't beleive in sex before marriage, in drugs and other items.  Everybody has the right to beleive what they want but to make exclusion of GOD is not right but that is my opinion. 

  

Let me clear something else before I forget, regarding the suicide I didnt' make myself clear last time. I know they are not commiting suicide because of the distribution of condoms in schools. They are doing becuase they are missing God or a spiritual individual in what ever religion they believe in. 

There are drugs, sex and crime in ALL schools...Christian or otherwise.  Those alternative schools have the exact same problems. 

  

There are schools where you can send your children that promote Christian values, but you shouldn't expect a public school to be that place.   

  

I agree with you in regards to suicide that they are missing a love & purpose in their life...for some that may be God, for others that may be a sense of belonging or individual purpose.   

 
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