Message Boards

Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

Number of Replies: 6020
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More October 2005 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 4:58 am PDT

About the bathroom comment

Quote From: smknight0

Sorry to break it to you, but I didn't breast feed either of my girls (now 14 and 12 years), and they hardly ever get sick. And they are very smart, too. We are also a very close knit family. It takes a lot more to raise a happy, healthy child than breast feeding. Someone earlier stated that people who are uncomfortable with breast feeding in public are probably uncomfortable with their own bodies. It is my unprofessional opinion that this person is right. Breast feeding in public (please don't misinterpret this to mean the act itself) makes me very uncomfortable. And yes, I am uncomfortable with myself. Regardless of that, there was a time that I wouldn't have wanted my children to see an exposed breast. I feel it might confuse them to see exposed breasts when I try to teach them that bodies are sacred AND private. There will be a time when they will see other women's bodies, but please allow me to decide when that will be. Additionally, please don't try to equate exposed breasts to low cut shirts. It insults our intelligence. And let's get off of our high horses with the bathroom comments. Of course we don't want you and your baby exposed to bathroom germs, but honestly -- did you see Oprah's show about How Clean Is Your House? There are germs - nasty ones at that - everywhere. The whole point behind "recommending" a bathroom was discretion. It was to allow me the choice not to have my children even have the opportunity to view a partially naked woman. It all boils down to good, old fashioned courtesy.

I personally have nursed in a restroom, I personally would not eat in a restroom, not just because of germs, but for comfort. Courtesy, what about giving the breastfeeding mother some. Should she have to go to a restroom "most do not have chairs or even lids" and try to balance on the toliet 'weather it be clean or dirty does not matter' and hold a 10+ lb baby with no back support or even butt support because of no lid, so that your child or you don't see a blanket over a babies head? Now I am speaking from a nursing mothers point of view who did bfip 'discreetly'. 

  

Plus you said you believed that some women did/do not nurse because of being uncomfortable with their bodies. What are you teaching your kids. The same thing, so they will grow up to have the same problem. That their bodies are something to be ashamed of. That nursing 'the way a baby was suppose to be feed' 'I am NOT saying those who do not bf are bad mothers, just that bf'ing is the way God intended a baby to eat' is shameful. They will more than likely grow up to feel nursing is not an option for the same reason you did. Do you not want your children to grow up comfortable with their bodies?  

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 5:08 am PDT

A TIP

Quote From: badtrip

Respect for others? How about respect for nursing moms and babies? A lot of the time the reason I flash someone is because my baby won't let me put a blanket on his head, and he likes to stop and look around sometimes, exposing me completely. I don't feel that it's disrespectful to feed my baby. I try to be modest, but for my own comfort, not for fear of being "disrespectful" to a stranger by giving my baby God's gift to babies and women.
AS OTHER READERS SUGGESTED, EXPRESSING YOUR MILK IS A REASONABLE OPTION AND TAKES THE FLASH OUT OF THIS DEBATE.  DISCRETION IS STILL THE BEST IN A SOCIETY WHERE THERE ARE MANY NEEDS, NOT JUST YOURS OR YOUR BABIES.  WHY ARE THE REASONABLE SUGGESTIONS OVERLOOKED BY B/F MOMS??  JUST CURIOUS
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 5:14 am PDT

In reply to disapline someone elses child

Quote From: twfriday

I don't think strangers should confront children when the parent is nearby. But surely, you can say something to a parent that has lost control of their children.  The public should not have to pay for poor parenting or overwhelmed mothers, with kicked shins, damaged cars, scratched up kids, etc. This lady is clearly already overwhelmed, yet she is having a fourth child to release on the public...sheesh.  

I cant say I agree if this mother is already overwhelmed and the child is having a fit "im not talking about spanking or shaking this childor even yelling at the child " I think if the child is out of hand and shes got her hands full it would be a HUGE help to her for someone to step in and help and most likley the child will listen to you because YOUR a stranger and most childre are scared of strangers I have done it before  and I know many people dont like other people or strangers to disapline other parents children HOWEVER I do in my neighborhood Because for one  they listen better than their own parents for another YOUR the one that caught them being bad NOT their parent  it NEEDS to be adressed then not later when its all forgotten about and if the parent has something to say  to me about it I will tell them as Im telling you I will NOT tollerate children out of control if their parents cant or wont  or just flat dont want to deal with it then someone needs to and what better person that the one that saw how the problem got started to begin with then if the parent is still upset I tell them "then watch your OWN child and keep them under control" because if they come in MY yard I WILL disapline them again thats just part of life Im NOT hurting the child Im simply telling them they CAN  NOT  do whatever it may be their doing to get in trouble I WANTED others to HELP ME like that because if I dont see something they did wrong and YOU did then YOU need to deal with it and yes I think the parent needs to know also but YOU saw it so YOU deal with it now I know many people dont like others to parent their children so if thats the case then they should be keeping a better eye out for their kids and make them stick around the house because I can almost guarantee another parent here in Oregon where I live WILL get involved  "please dont take this like im being  nasty this is just MY opinion  and we all have one" thanks Lori
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 5:27 am PDT

What does Compromise mean to you?

Quote From: shellyee

Actually , I did answer this. Many times. Many, many times. Many, many , many, WAY TOO MANY TIMES.  

  

If I never told you to GET in the bathroom, then why do keep saying the same thing? Because you can't admit that everythingelse I have said is true. It is like calling me ugly. Oh, I am a veggie by the way. No steak. And I answered the question about having to eat in the bathroom. I did answer it. Yet you all continue to pound and pound on it because it is all you have. Something I never even said. It's just pathetic now.  

  

I am right. You all have no intentions of trying to show anyone any respect other than getting what YOU want. Compromise is just not an option. Your poor children. 

I don't see you willing to compromise? So many women on this board has said they believe that bf'ing in public is ok WITH DISCRESION. Yet you 'and all the others that share your opinion' still get upset. You want them to go to their 'car' or a 'private' place.  

Why?  I thought you were for bf'ing? and you want everyone to compromise! So are you not willing to meet in the middle? Breastfeed in public, but do it discreetly. Cover yourself, and I have never seen a woman take her top off to nurse!! Not even at home do I do that.  

It's beginning to sound as if you want everyone to do what YOU want them to do, not compromise to make everyone happy. 

Everyone has a right to their opinions and I don't believe anyone has a right to tell someone else that their opinion is 'wrong'. Opinions can not be wrong, they are just that opinions and not everyone has the same opinion. 

The children I feel sorry for are the ones that have to 'wait' to eat, because some grown person cares more about their own feelings than the childs. Your right we are the adults and should be able to put our feelings aside for our children. Again I think bf'ing in public should be done discreetly! If you mean what you say about compromising then that should be an acceptalbe compromise? Yes, No, Maybe? 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 5:51 am PDT

Can tell you have never breastfed

Quote From: macdale

This bathroom is a huge issue, ok , yes they are dirty but does that mean you would put your baby on the restaurant table and change his/her diaper??? Or would you make the best of it and find a place in the restroom to "TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDS NEEDS?"  No one is saying that you have to sit in the stall or on the toilet, you can walk around and heck if you would like sing your child a song while you spend time feeding him/her!  You all are making like Shellyee said you have to go and rub yourself all over the floor and dip your hands in the toilet while your feeding your child! Give me a break!  SHe was simply making a statement, you could go to the restroom! It is a private area that you will have one on one time to spend with your child and give you the self respect and give others respect!  YOu all are making it out to be that she said you have to lay your child on the nasty floor.  Most public restrooms are not small, you have plenty of room to move around!  There is a huge different between me taking a plate into the restroom and eating off the floor and a breastfeeding mom doing her thing.. Does her breast come in contact with anything?  NO!  SO what Shellyee said makes more than prefectly good sense!  If your not smart enough to get then maybe you should consider drinking some of that breast milk. remember you breast feeding moms keep saying that your children will be soooooo smart because they had breast milk! DRINK UP! 

Sorry, but walking around and nursing is not a very easy task, yes it can be done, but the child gets heavy after 15 to 30mins and unlike just carrying them you can't just change positions to get relief.  No I would not change my child on the table, I would take them to the rest room where everyone else goes to relieve themself, cause thats what the restroom is for, not for eating!  

  

Now if I did go to the restroom and nurse my child while walking around in the large area and you or anyone who did not find breastfeeding attractive walked in, would you then expect me to run to a stall? Or does your view of a nursing mother change? Are you wanting us to go to a private area for your benifit or others that you 'think' might be offended? You know the restroom is still a public place, the only private spot is in the stall and well you yourself said that noone was requiring us to go to the stall. 

  

As for singing to my child in the restroom, I'm not a very good singer and I am more than willing to admit that, I might offend someone trying to take a dump. 

  

  

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 5:51 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: cathyhod

TO BRING THE LORD IN TO A WRITING THAT IS SO NASTY AND CRITICAL IS LOW!!  I DON'T THINK THE LORD WAS BEHIND YOUR FINGERS AS YOU HIT THE KEYS TO WRITE THOSE WORDS.  IN ORDER FOR THIS ISSUE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WE HAVE TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND USE TACT.  HOW CAN YOU BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU WRITE HYSTERICAL THINGS LIKE THIS?

I agree... DR. Phil did seem asleep.  I kept thinking, who is this man and where did he hide Dr. Phil.  And by the way, the Lord did create our bodies, our breasts, and the function of breastfeeding!  Nothing wrong with pointing that out! 

  

Dr. Phil........are you out there?  Will you return again for the next show? 

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 6:35 am PDT

what

Quote From: shellyee

Then why are they in an adult restauraunt with adults trying be adults?

LOL LOL LOL!!! Okay so now you are saying that because a baby enters a restaurant you are in they are trying to be adults. Too funny! Why stop at not letting babies eat, lets stop all people under the age of 18 eating... that is the legal age of adulthood. Small children can be messy eaters. Perhaps we should outlaw family all together. Sound the battle cry..." No Kinds in PUBLIC!" 

  

PLEASE!!! 

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 6:41 am PDT

your memory is failing

Quote From: shellyee

Wait a minute! You have been arguing with me all this time, and you AGREE WITH ME! *hits head on wall*

  

No! you have had massive memory lapses about your own quotes from the show. It is those massively unreasonable statements I don't agree with. And the fact that you still think as certain reentrants mothers still shouldn't feed their children. Over and over again you said you never told mothers to go to the bathroom and conveniently forgot. If you would like I would post the quote again or the posts where you denied saying it. I believe women should be able to breast feed in public as long as they are as discrete as possible. so keep on bangen your head, perhaps you will knock some sense in.
 
User Mood
Cheerful

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 6:41 am PDT

better get used to it...

Quote From: cathyhod

TO BRING THE LORD IN TO A WRITING THAT IS SO NASTY AND CRITICAL IS LOW!!  I DON'T THINK THE LORD WAS BEHIND YOUR FINGERS AS YOU HIT THE KEYS TO WRITE THOSE WORDS.  IN ORDER FOR THIS ISSUE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WE HAVE TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND USE TACT.  HOW CAN YOU BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU WRITE HYSTERICAL THINGS LIKE THIS?

...if you plan on reading the docs website. 

  

These boards are FILLED with people telling others what the 'Lord' says and 99% of the time it comes off in the most self righteous "nasty critical low" manner.   

  

 Compared to the majority of things I have read here, this post is nothing.  

  

  

  

  

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
October 9, 2005, 6:44 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: cathyhod

AS OTHER READERS SUGGESTED, EXPRESSING YOUR MILK IS A REASONABLE OPTION AND TAKES THE FLASH OUT OF THIS DEBATE.  DISCRETION IS STILL THE BEST IN A SOCIETY WHERE THERE ARE MANY NEEDS, NOT JUST YOURS OR YOUR BABIES.  WHY ARE THE REASONABLE SUGGESTIONS OVERLOOKED BY B/F MOMS??  JUST CURIOUS

the expressing comment has been addressed many times. My baby wouldn't take a fake nipple until they were 6 and 8 months old. Many babies experience nipple confusion and with refuse to nurse if a bottle is introduced. Why is discreetly breastfeeding so offensive?  

 
First | Prev | 444 | 445 | 446 | 447 | 448 | 449 | 450 | 451 | 452 | 453 | Next | Last