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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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October 10, 2005, 6:36 am PDT

I agree

Quote From: kwhitney

Unfortunately, many women opt to formula-feed becuase they do not want to have face the option of breastfeeding thier babies in public or just staying home all day. This is VERY sad. Some may think I am exagerating, but my  work involves assisting mothers with breastfeeding difficulties and concerns. Trust me, this attitude that nursing in public is "unattractive" and "unneccesary" (sp?) dissuades many a mother from providing her child and herself with the MANY benefits of breastfeeding, even when she is perfectly capable of doing so! 

  

I am a big believer in social sensitivity, but I think that people also need to be more sensitive to the needs of infants and young children. We have a society now where normal childish behavior is seen as "annoying" by many.  

  

Trust me, if women were forced to stay home to breastfeed or retreat to the bathroom, breastfeeding rates would fall even farther (and they are already pathetic at the   month mark in this country). 

  

WHAT A GREAT JOB!!!!!! 

  

Yes it is tough..but I am glad I made the choice. The bottom line is that we have a choice. We cab breastfeed, bottle feed or do both. If breastfeeding doesn't work for some women thank goodness they can bottle feed. But in all honesty...The looking...gawking...comments etc...make it much harder on a new mom trying to nurse on the go. Thus resulting in making the experience more difficult.  

  

I am really having trouble with the unattractive argument. To see a flash of skin...where you see much more on low rise jeans with thongs hanging out..and white tanks with no bras..or women who spill their cleavage all over. 

  

in my opinion Fromm all the defensive posts I read is that people are "uncomfortable with the thought of a baby sucking on a breast. If they weren't then there would not be an issue. and THAT'S FINE...THEY ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN COMFORT LEVELS...BUT THEY JUST CAN'T SEEM TO ADMIT IT.  They can say that's not the case...they just don't want to see it in public...however I have yet to be flashed by a nursing mother. 

  

I have also seen many breastfeeding moms bash bottle feeders and vise versa. I loved nursing...but most of all I loved having a choice. I never judge another mother for how she chose to feed her baby..because you never know what the circumstances are. When moms would ask me about nursing...my advise was to at least try it before ruling it out. I never pushed nursing..though I didn't want to be pushed or judged either. 

  

I still don't see what the big deal is...boobs (like women) can multi task. 

 
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October 10, 2005, 6:43 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: swimfinmom

All these "anti" folks use the same adjectives -- "whip it out", "in your face", "waving in the breeze", and so many others that have NOTHING to do with reality.  In reality, as anyone who has nursed can tell you, the most you are going to see is the very briefest flash, and then the baby covers the whole deal.   

So these "anti" folks aren't really offended by what they SEE (which in general is nothing), but the VERY IDEA that a baby is nursing.  That is just how twisted this country has become. 

I was asked to stop breastfeeding my baby at the YMCA (a place that is supposed to be about HEALTHY CHOICES, pretty ironic).  I was by the side of the pool, but get this -- I was sitting in the bleachers, being so careful to be modest that I was sitting backwards -- WITH MY BACK TO THE POOL.  So whoever complained certainly wasn't complaining about anything they could SEE. 

You want to know what I told the Aquatics Director who came to tell me to take it to the bathroom?  I said, "You know what, I don't mean to kill the messenger, but not only 'No', but 'No, and bite me!" 

I further told her that if she decided to push me on this issue, I would call the press and organize a protest.  She left very flustered, bless her heart. lol 

Unfortunately, not every mom has that confidence -- I've been nursing for most of 16 years now, thanks to extended nursing and having my children (five of them) three years apart.  I feel for new moms who may not know how to handle situations like that.  The policy there has since changed and moms are welcome to nurse their children anywhere in the Y. 

I hope Dr. Phil will decide to explore this subject further. 

  

What a great story and you go girl!  I've never been asked to stop nursing and God help the person who ever does!  Press, lawyers, there will be no stopping me! 

  

I agree with your point and stated it many times this weekend.  These "anti" people aren't actually seeing breast skin, they are just turned off by the idea of someone sucking on a woman's breast.  They will not admit it, but it is deeply rooted in some type of sexual issue they have.   

  

It's been an honor to nurse my children.  I'm glad there are many many people out there like you.  Lactating and proud! 

  

Best wishes 

 
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October 10, 2005, 6:45 am PDT

Defensive

Quote From: shellyee

If you think I am being harsh it only because you have not read what has been said about me (and directly to me) since the show aired. I am sorry you read it as so harsh though. I apologise. I also see that after reading your last sentence, my whole thought is lost on you also.

Defensive again.... 

  

Honestly...come on...all you do is rebut...just state your view and maybe we can get it!!!!! 

  

You ask for compromise...I am one who can and am willing to see both sides...but you are making it tough. and you have yet to explain anything all you are doing is defending!!!! 

 
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October 10, 2005, 6:45 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: abstract

It advocates breastfeeding because breastfeeding was the only option. Read anywhere in the Bible where the birth of a new baby is mentioned, and it is always accompanied by "and he/she suckled". Even Jesus himself suckled. And I'm sure the Virgin Mary didn't let him suckle in a bathroom. It also elludes at times to extended nursing (which was common in that time period to ages 5-7 as a result of poor water quality).  

  

And for the record, I'm not Christian. I'm Unitarian Universalist. I read the Bible for fun. 

Just wanted to say -- I LOVE your avatar!!!
 
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October 10, 2005, 6:48 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: angnlee

I am a firm believer in breast feeding if possible. I am a first time pregnant, modest person who doesn't believe in allowing everyone to view me breast feeding my child. This is why they make breast pumps & have family rooms next to the restrooms in stores & resturants. As a pregnant woman who plans to breast feed I agree more with the woman who argueed that it should not be done at the resturant table. If a mother is planning on going out they should pump and prepare before going anywhere. Though it may not be embarrassing for some mothers to breast feed in public, it can embarrass those around her. 

Get back to us once the baby is born.  If you stick with the nursing you may find the baby won't take a bottle.  I could have offered my babies a million dollars, but they would would flat out refuse the bottle.   Even the moms i know whose babies would take pumped milk, would NOT TAKE IT FROM THE MOTHER.  If you figure out a way to make a baby take a bottle when he's refusing, let us know.  Many would be interested in hearing about it. 

  

Good luck with the baby.  You may find that parenting "theory" differs greatly from parenting "reality."  Perhaps you will be the first to find a way to "make" a baby sleep through the night or keep a two year old from throwing a tantrum!!!! 

 
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October 10, 2005, 6:49 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: shellyee

Why, because I made an acurate statement that you have no appropriate response for? Or, because rather than speaking like grown ups I have been called ugly, stupid, a sexual deviant, pervert, uneducated, inhuman, ......etc?  

  

Even Dr. Phil didn't like Synorra saying it was her right to impose her will on to everybody else, and he had nothing to say to me. I am sorry you are all having issue with that. Maybe it is something you should think on, though. 

Shelly, I've been reading these message boards for days now and I'm really surprised how heated it has all gotten (including me).  I hope you read this message because I was a working professional before I had children.  I can assure you that I felt very similar to you and never in a MILLION years even considered the issue of breastfeeding or not.  Well, got married, had a baby and it all changed.  I hated breastfeeding in public ... and tried very hard not to ... and when I did, I tried to be as discreet as possible (which I know is your point).  It has come up all over the place to just pump and give the baby a bottle .... I tried that for months.  My picky little one absolutely REFUSED to take a bottle.  It was difficult in ways you can't imagine ... not just breastfeeding in public, but getting a babysitter, etc.  Anyway, my point is ... we, as women, should be supporting each other!  We should not be attacking each other over an issue of feeding your child.  Yes, there are some women who go to the extreme, but really they are few and far between.  There are people that go to the extremes with EVERYTHING.  Seriously, we are bombarded on a daily basis with absolute GARBAGE.  Nursing your baby really is as innocent as you can get ... nothing dirty or obscene about it.  Please try to be more understanding.  I can assure you, most women never dreamed they'd be breastfeeding on a park bench (me), but sure enough ... that little one starts screaming and all of a sudden you're doing whatever it takes!!!!  Listening to the screaming is worse ... trust me.
 
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October 10, 2005, 6:53 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: petrosky

Get back to us once the baby is born.  If you stick with the nursing you may find the baby won't take a bottle.  I could have offered my babies a million dollars, but they would would flat out refuse the bottle.   Even the moms i know whose babies would take pumped milk, would NOT TAKE IT FROM THE MOTHER.  If you figure out a way to make a baby take a bottle when he's refusing, let us know.  Many would be interested in hearing about it. 

  

Good luck with the baby.  You may find that parenting "theory" differs greatly from parenting "reality."  Perhaps you will be the first to find a way to "make" a baby sleep through the night or keep a two year old from throwing a tantrum!!!! 

Yep, my daughter would *never* take a bottle of expressed breast milk from me, no way!  She knew I had the real thing and there was no way she would except any less.  By the time she was about a year old, she would occasionally take a bottle of EBM from my husband, but not if I was anywhere in the house or on the property!
 
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October 10, 2005, 6:55 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: abbieofnc

I bought an expensive pump.($300+)  Used it for my first baby.  It didn't yield as much as some other moms I talked to about the ones they were using...and they were the same brand.  But recently, with my second child I purchased the Avent Isis for about $42 and it works great.  Better than the expensive one that was electric.  So cost isn't such an issue anymore. 
I agree, the Avent Isis is the best reasonably-priced pump there is.  I used it occasionally when I was going out for a couple hours so my husband could give our daughter a bottle, once she was over a year old and not nursing quite so much.  But $42 is still going to be too much money for a lot of people.  It's unfortunate, but it's a fact.  Some people are barely making it day-to-day for food and shelter, much less able to afford a decent breast pump.  That's part of the reason they're breastfeeding -- it's free!
 
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October 10, 2005, 6:56 am PDT

the definition of a right fighter

Quote From: shellyee

If you think I am being harsh it only because you have not read what has been said about me (and directly to me) since the show aired. I am sorry you read it as so harsh though. I apologise. I also see that after reading your last sentence, my whole thought is lost on you also.

I think you just love to argue your point.  Which is probably why you were chosen to go on this particular show.  They needed a debater and boy!  they sure found one in you!  tehe  If nothing else, I think you are an amazing example of what the doc calls a right fighter.   

  

It seems this whole board has gone off into "im a better mom then you are".  I thought to perhaps lesson the heat here, I would end the argument over who is the worse mom in the world.  So everyone, listen up!  I have got some examples for you!    :) 

  

First off, I didnt breatsfeed.  No good reason for it. I even knew it was better for all three of my children.  I chose not to breastfeed out of sheer selfishness.  I was sick and tired of sharing my body and the thought of sharing one more day was more then I could bear.  Now I ask ya... how is that for horrid mom?? 

  

How about this?  The other day I had been up most the night and I allowed my 7 year old to go to school on a breakfast consisting of a brownie simply cus I was too tired to fuss about it.  *gasp*  As well as, the majority of time I give in to him and cook him mashed potatoes for breakfast.  Can you even believe it?  I know... its shocking, eh? 

  

Or how about all the times my older ones are angry over some  thing that happend during the day and when telling me about it they curse and I allow it?     Someone call the bad mother police RIGHT NOW! 

  

Lets see... what else?  I allow the lil one to play in the woods unsupervised.  I allow them to watch tv when eating dinner.   At least once(more often then not twice) a week I make them fend for themselves at dinnertime.  Usually its packaged alfredo they settle for.    Disgusting to me, but hey!  They like it so yep!  I let them eat it.  They ride their bikes in the street.  They back talk.  They fuss over their chores and I just let them(course, they are getting them done while fussing but still... how dare I allow such behavior?)  OH!  Heres a good one!  When they were babies of 3 months I went against all the doctors advice and actually put rice cereal in their bottles so they would sleep longer.  OMG!  Doesent that just say it all?   

  

So moms, no need to worry over who is right and who is wrong.  Who is better and who is worse.  I think my examples prove I take the cake on the bad mom award.  You all think its possible to start pulling together now as women and mothers instead of continuing these ridiculous bantering posts?   

  

Well... hope springs eternal!  :D 

  

  

  

  

  

  

 
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October 10, 2005, 7:01 am PDT

breastfeeding

I am currently nursing my 4th baby, I nursed them 11m., 10m., and 2 years, this one is 5 months and still going strong.  I have not even thought of weaning because of teeth, and do not know what that has to do with nursing in public.  I have nursed all my babies in public, discreetly, under a blanket, so only I can see them.   I would, and have never nursed a baby in a restroom, I find that disgusting.  A women who hasn't had a baby may find it hard to comprehend the connection a mother can feel to a baby, and how hard it is to ignore a hungry, crying newborn, snuggling up to your breast becuase she can smell her mom's milk.  It's beautiful, and wonderful, and something only I can do for my precious babies, and watching them chub up and grow, knowing its my milk helping that is priceless.
 
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