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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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October 4, 2005, 3:47 pm CDT

I don't like YOUR lunch!

Quote From: animalcat

In my opinion, I do not think women should breastfeed in public. That is not ladylike at all. If you need to do that, go find a restroom or someplace where you can have privacy. Now about the sex education, schools should not give out condoms. That is a big NO NO! Leave anything personal and private to the parents, not the teachers. Its the parents job to tell their children about sex and other things too.
 As a breastfeeding mama of 2, I am ashamed of your message!!  I breastfed my first child until her 3rd birthday, and my second is still nursing strong at 33 months!  I have had no problems at all BFing in public, when my baby or child was hungry, upset, tired, etc we would find a bench or chair and sit down to nurse.  Then everything was all better for mommy,  baby/child, and THE PUBLIC because my baby/child wasn't screaming, crying, or being wild in public.  I satifised their needs.

What isn't ladylike about using the breasts for the purpose they were designed for??  Let's say you were eating in a restaurant, and I walked by your table and I didn't like what you were eating, would you go eat in the bathroom?  NO!  So what's the difference??  NOT ONE THING!
 
October 4, 2005, 3:53 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: irishmom

When I first had my baby, I went into the bathroom to breastfeed to get "privacy"....someone who walked in was still offended.  Just goes to prove that you can't make everyone happy.  Someone will always have something to complain about, so I don't care about "privacy" anymore.
Your right, can't make every one happy so just keep feeding your baby whereever YOU are comfortable. People certainly get offended over the craziest stuff in this society, no wonder our society is so wacked out, some body always complaining about something! O well, breastfeeding moms, go for it! It is your right, obligation, and privelege to be able to do this and when your baby is hungry, feed him/her and don't worry about others, just do it respectfully and enjoy this time.
 
October 4, 2005, 3:58 pm CDT

By the way

Quote From: jettav

Abstence is a realistic idea and it SHOULD be encouraged and taught, if they teach one way, they need to teach the other way as well. Some kids out there have never been taught that it is ok to not have sex, Alot of kids, especially girls believe that they have to have sex to be love and accepted when in all reality, it ususally leads to some slef esteem issues, yes, it is realistic and possible and again, if they are going to teach about sex, then yes, absentence should be included and yes, it is the BEST form of protection against the unexpected. My children will be learning that absentence is the best and the best thing to do is to save them selves, fall in love, get married and then have sex with your one and only and of course they will be taught about protection, std's and all that and if they do decide. to go out and have sex, they will be held accountable for their actions, they will take responsibility for the mistakes that they make. The boundaries will be set and they will know the consequences of their actions before hand, Yep, absentence is realistic and there are many smart kids out there who know it and follow that concept. Not every teen is going to go out and have sex and they need to be encouraged and praised, not in a class room that will make them misfits, there, if one way is taught then EVERYTHING needs top be included.
I am not stupid either. I am actually a smart person who knows that absentence is possible and can be achieved by those who really want to wait and are encouraged to. sure there are those who are going to do it and that is whay I say if they teach one way then they need to cover all the grounds which also includes absentence.
 
October 4, 2005, 6:23 pm CDT

Breastfeeding ....Unladylike....WHAT???

What in the world is this person thinking. UNLADYLIKE to BF in public. Are you serious? 

So girls walking around with their underwear sticking out of there pants is proper.... 

girls wearing skirts so short that you can see the goodies cause they are wearing thongs is proper... 

guys walking around with their pants to their knees and their undies showing is proper.... 

girls lifting their shirts to show off what there mammas gave them to a room full of men and cameras to boot is proper... 

But BFing is unladylike... 

  

Oh sorry thats right I live in a crazy mixed up world..my bad... 

  

 
October 4, 2005, 6:40 pm CDT

Educate yourself

Quote From: missjane2

Am I for Real?  I think maybe I should be asking you this when you say: "A very long time ago, women who were lactating would nurse the elderly, so they could keep up their strength." 

  

***gasps***** Woah!  breastfeeding grandma?  Now this is crossing the line!  I would go as far to call it sacreligous. 

Now comforting a screaming two year old tantrum with breastfeeding is one thing, but breastfeeding grandma is wrong.  There are a whole lot of other ways to provide grandma with strength.  But that subject probably doesn't belong on the Dr. Phil show, but on the Jerry Springer show. 

My whole point was that breastfeeding has many, many benefits and I think it is sad that we can't give our baby what is best.  Just because people are uncomfortable.  I'm not saying in this day and age where we have great medicines is it necessary to BF our grandparents.(I went way off topic there, sorry my education speaking)    I think you are looking at breastfeeding as a sexual act, it is none of the sort.  Maybe if more of us breastfed our babies/children we would have more strong, healthy, confident people in this world. 
 
October 4, 2005, 6:45 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: mommy_two

My whole point was that breastfeeding has many, many benefits and I think it is sad that we can't give our baby what is best.  Just because people are uncomfortable.  I'm not saying in this day and age where we have great medicines is it necessary to BF our grandparents.(I went way off topic there, sorry my education speaking)    I think you are looking at breastfeeding as a sexual act, it is none of the sort.  Maybe if more of us breastfed our babies/children we would have more strong, healthy, confident people in this world. 
I think it's cool that people think of giving breast milk to non-babies to help them stay well. Breast milk is really healthy food for people in general. I can see giving it in a cup, though I wouldn't want my grannie suckling on me!
 
October 4, 2005, 6:46 pm CDT

Nursing In Public is protected

There is a place you can go if you want to look up the laws on this topic. The www.lalecheleague.org details the state-by-state protections for women who nurse. Unfortunately people have hang-ups about this issue, but it's important for women to know that it is illegal for someone to try to impose their discomfort on you by asking you to cover up or go into a private place. That is their discomfort, and should have nothing to do with your choice to feed your baby when he is hungry or needs comforting. 

Also it has been made clear that even if there is currently no law in your state or town protecting you, federal law and the constitution protect your right to nurse your child, regardless of whether or not you do so modestly, wherever you are entitled to be. If someone has a problem with it I suggest you either a) ignore them or b) ask if you can feed your baby a bottle. If they say yes, it's time to educate them on your rights. Anywhere you are allowed to go with your baby, you're allowed to nurse your baby. 

This shouldn't even be a debate, but a lot of people think it's their business to tell you when and how to feed your baby. Perhaps if they understood the importance of breast milk and closeness to the mother they would be more uncomfortable seeing a baby being fed a bottle in public. 

Never feel like you should have to hide to do what's best for your child, which is nursing. 

Please visit www.promom.org, www.militantbreastfeedingcult. (name is a satire on the perception of women who nurse as belonging to some sort of cult), or www.lalecheleague.org for some scientific articles comparing rates of disease among bottle fed formula babies as compared to breastfed babies, as well as your legal rights. 

As for condoms in schools and disciplining in public, I agree kids need to have the choice of contraception to avoid unwanted pregnancy and disease. I don't think it's my place to offer them but I don't have a problem with them being available at a health center. Handing them out is kind of extreme, but providing them and making them accessible should be ok. 

Disciplining in public - I don't think that's really polite. But if another person is trying to make sure everyone is safe, for example an employee saying something to a kid who may be climbing on displays or grabbing beaded jewelry, etc., I think that's ok. Or if you're not noticing what your kid is doing and another person tries to intervene for someone's safety I think that's ok. 

  

 
October 4, 2005, 6:53 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: jettav

Your right, can't make every one happy so just keep feeding your baby whereever YOU are comfortable. People certainly get offended over the craziest stuff in this society, no wonder our society is so wacked out, some body always complaining about something! O well, breastfeeding moms, go for it! It is your right, obligation, and privelege to be able to do this and when your baby is hungry, feed him/her and don't worry about others, just do it respectfully and enjoy this time.

Pressuring people to "do it respectfully" is just as bad as telling them not to do it. Women worry they are not being modest enough and choose to bottle feed when in public. This leads to the woman having less stimulation at the breast and milk supply goes down. Then the woman dries up prematurely and baby doesn't get enough time breastfeeding. Currently the WHO recommends nursing for at least 2 years, and natural weaning should be the norm, when the child is ready to quit. 

I just talked to a mom today who was so uncomfortable because she couldn't breastfeed discreetly because her boobies were big that she chose formula while in public. And she was trying to take drugs to increase her supply, even with having nursed 3 babies the longest she has been able to nurse has been with her last child who is 9 months old, and she's already concerned about supply. 

The best way to nurse is OFTEN, as long as the baby wants per side, and on-cue. Also nursing at night will help you keep up your supply - this means co-sleeping, something Dr. Phil I think has a huge problem with (as though it's any of his business). 

 
October 4, 2005, 6:56 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: irishmom

 Thank you for making the word CHOICE in bold....there are some instances when a woman has no choice but to bottlefeed.  I had to bottlefeed my first two because I was a single mother (going through divorce) and had to return to work one week after giving birth.  Because I lived in a rural place where good jobs were scarce, there was no way to find a job that would allow me to pump.  Now that I am remarried and have a 4 month old baby, I am able to stay at home with all three of my children and breastfeed for the first time.  It is amazing and makes me wonder how I ever bottlefed my other two, but I know I had no choice at the time.  Now that I do have a choice, I know that breastfeeding is the best and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you for understanding my message, I feel like some may be taking it the wrong way.  I work with teen mom's who usually can't breastfeed for a long amount of time because they are trying to finish high school. Pumping becomes too difficult for some mom's.  What I really admire is those women who try and  set a goal of how long they can do it.  Most of my teens breastfeed for 6 weeks, while they are home with the baby, then turn to formula.  I just wanted to stress what research shows, that breast milk is the best source of food.    I am so happy that you are able to enjoy the experience of breastfeeding, the best of luck to you!!
 
October 4, 2005, 7:05 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: mommy_two

This whole topic has me really upset, everyday I try to help women breastfeed and everywhere I go I promote that breast is best. My breastfeeding mom's say they have been given dirty looks and told to go to the bathroom to feed their babies, when in public.   I hate that it is being debated on weather we should nurse our babies in public.  Here is an update for all you mom's who formula fed by choice, our breasts produce milk as soon as your placenta is delivered because that is what breasts are for.  I don't understand why we as women, carry our babies in our wombs for 9 months and then as soon as the baby is here you think your job is done.  It is our job to make sure our babies are as healthy as they can be. Breastfeeding is the only true way to feed a human baby.     For all those mothers who chose to formula feed because they couldn't fulfill their duties, I feel sorry that you didn't get to have the experience that all of us nursing mothers had.  As for nursing your baby,toddler, older child, I think that if your child was hungry you would feed them, no matter where you are.  I think it is sad that so many women think that formula is equal to breast milk.   To all my breastfeeding peer's keep encouraging, fighting and loving your babies.  Oh and by the way your breast milk changes to meet the needs of your growing child, so breast milk is beneficial at any age.  I wish that all mom's would breastfeed, then when we are faced with natural disasters, like the hurricanes, we will not have to worry about our babies starvin, just a thought!
Amen!
 
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