Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

Nobody said anything about sex!  A kiss is a kiss, can I not kiss my husband in public?  I didn't say anything about tongue down his throat!!!   Holding hands, kissing, hugging, eating, walking, sitting, talking on the phone are all things that are done in public.  Why is it so wrong for an INFANT to eat in front of other people when it is not wrong for others to eat in public?  How about I take it to another level.  Are you offended by anyone who is unable to feed themselves?  What about the elderly?  The disabled?  Would you approach them and tell them they shouldn't be allowed to eat in public, that they should go to the bathroom to eat in private?  Does anyone come up to you in the middle of your meal and say, "That is so inappropriate.  You really should do that in the bathroom, in your car or in the privacy of your own home!"  What if you put a big blanket over your head so that we can't see you eating?   How about we just get rid of all public eating facilities and make it inappropriate for ANYONE to eat in public?  Why just the infants?  Not everyone can pump.  Not everyone can make absolutely sure that their outing will only take the time between feedings so as not to offend those who won't see breastfeeding as nourishment for a baby, but rather as simply an intrusion on their beliefs/values/morals what have you.  Get a grip for cryin' out loud!  I am all about fairness and discretion, however, this is getting ridiculous!  A breastfeeding mother is not sitting there shirtless flaunting her breasts saying "Look at my boobs!", she is sitting with maybe a part of one breast barely exposed so that her child can eat.   The people who WON'T see that breastfeeding is simply a way for a child to eat need to just get over themselves.  This is the United States of America, a FREE country....and yes I do realize that means freedom of speech...what about the right to feed your child in public without people telling you that you should be feeding your child in one of the filthiest places?  If you wouldn't sit in the bathroom to eat your lunch, then don't suggest that a mother feed her child in one.  

I'd prefer a woman breastfeed discreetly. As a guy, I am very uncomfortable when a woman shows her breast when breastfeeding.  I am conflicted and uncomfortable when seeing that.  I know it is natural etc, but although I know I shouldn't look, it's hard not to, given the male fascination with breasts.   

 Breastfeeding in Public

I breastfed in public and the only comments I received were positive ones. I was always discreet so people rarely noticed and although I refused to ever feed my children in a washroom, I could always find an out of the way bench.  Once in a while, I'll see a mom feeding her child in a food court and that warm rush of feelings comes over me. It was such a precious time and it was over much too soon.

The only time I ever made someone really uncomfortable with my breastfeeding was at a family dinner when I was such an old hand at it I just "whipped 'em out" at the table and my poor dad turned deep pink. I was so used to not having to be discreet around my hubby, mom and sisters, I'd forgotten about dad. I covered up, he pretended he hadn't seen a thing and my son just kept on eating. 


Child Discipline

I can't imagine a scenario where my children would need to be disciplined by someone other than myself or my husband or where I'd need to discipline someone elses children. I've been tempted to give "the look" to a few moms in Walmart but it's generally because they're shopping with wee ones at 10 p.m. and the kids are beyond tired and the moms are frazzled and they both are whining at each other. I try to always remember how blessed I am that my husband was there to look over our kids in bed at 10 p.m. if I had to run to the shops and that not everyone is in the same situation.  As tempted as I've been to discipline a parent though, it would never cross my mind to discipline someone elses child.

Sex & Drugs & Rock'n'roll

I'm a big believer in sex and drug education that is truthful and complete. I think that  parents should be able to exempt their children from sex ed classes but I wouldn't exempt my own children even though we've always answered their questions at home.

I think that too much focus is placed on the end effects of drugs and sex without telling kids why people want to risk so much to have sex or take drugs. We fill them up on AIDS, STD's and addiction warnings without informing them of any of the pleasures.

My children are aware that drugs and alcohol make you feel GREAT. Both take away inhibitions and make you feel powerful and the temporary euphoria is enough to make you want to take drugs or alcohol again and again. They know it's a seductive process that their bodies will reach for if they start down that slope. Teen bodies will also reach for the pleasure that sex brings. It's a hormonal thing that they have to be told about in order for them to understand it and deal with it. If we tell them only about pregancy and condom failure and STD's without telling them that sexual feelings will be humming through their bodies and sex play will make them feel good and temporarily loved, how will they be able to fight the feelings? 

As we gave our boys all the info about the positive things they'd feel, we let them know about the negative effects. That way, if they ever try drugs, they'll remember that we told them the truth about the "positives" so they'll be more inclined to believe us about the negatives. We took a very similar approach to sex ed and when my eldest son was 13, he felt no fear about going into planned parenthood to pick up some condoms so he could show them off to his friends as the most incredible water balloons ever made.  

I have an 18 year old son who, so far, has been able to say no to drugs and alcohol (with 1 exception) and even sex. He made that decision for himself using the information we gave him. The one occasion he drank, he used the portion control information we gave him. 1 beer is a drink, 1 wine cooler is a drink, 1 oz of liquor is a drink... we let him know how rarely people pour 1 oz of liquor and why it's a very poor choice for someone who wants to control their portions. He had 1 wine cooler and told us about it at the end of the night even though we never would have known as it's effects had long worn off. 

I truelly feel that breatfeeding is a natural and normal way of feeding your baby.  It is one of the ways God intended breast to be used for!!!  It is much easier than bottle feeding,  (that's for sure).  I breastfed my youngest until he turned one then he was done.  It was such a bonding time for the both of us.  This issue of breastfeeding can bring up lots of issues;  for instance smoking in public.  I am allergic to cigarette smoke and most restaurants have smoking/non.  You don't ask people who are smoking in public to stop, it's the same way with breastfeeding mothers, except breastfeeding a baby doesn't harm anybody.  Smoking, reguardless if you are in a non-smoking are, the smoke does travel to the non-smoking area.  It's hared to get awy from the smoke but if you happened to not like mothers who breastfeed in public, don't watch or move away.  I would much rather see many woman breastfeeding their children then to see or smell people smoking, it is very harmful to everyone not just the smoker.   

BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC DOESN'T HURT ANYONE -- 

SMOKING HURTS EVERYONE IN ITS PATH 

I am a breastfeeding mother of two. I pumped for 6 months to breastfeed my first daughter, after intensive care she wouldnt latch properly. Now I am enjoying being able to nurse my second daughter naturally. I say it is the most NATURAL thing in the world, that is why women have breasts, and if breastfeeding in public shouldnt be allowed then eating in public shouldnt be allowed. I just find it so hard to believe that there are women this day and age that are not supporting of breastfeeding, in public or not. I have NEVER seen a woman in public with her whole shirt off to breastfeed, but if she did, then look away. It's not as if the lady is holding her boob and saying look at it, or flashing someone, it's feeding her child. The woman on the show that said that you should go the bathroom and breastfeed, why doesnt she try to go the restroom at a public place and eat her meal, then lets talk and see how you like it. She also made a comment about how a breastfeeding woman is not as attractive as she might think she is, she needs to get over it, I NOR THE OTHER WOMEN IKNOW, ARE NOT BREASTFEEDING FOR ATTENTION OR APPROVAL OF OTHERS, AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN LOOK AWAY. I do not just pull out my breast and show the world, I am not comfotable just exposing myself in public, I cover up as much as possible. But as a woman with bigger breast, I also cannot use a little nursing top and only expose the nipple, I have to hold my breast at the bottom for support so I dont smother my daughter, this is done as a nessecity not a show. And if you see a little part of my breast because of that then so be it, again look away. Cover ups are great for infants but as for my 9 month old she just wont stand to have anything over her face so we dont use one, after she is latched I pull my shirt down as far a I can so a little as possible is exposed, for my comfot not for any onlookers. I think that the woman against breastfeeding in puiblic ,discourages lots of first time moms from breastfeeding. It takes time to be comfortable with breastfeeding and they dont need to hear what she says people are thinking about them. Afterall that is why women have breasts and breastfeeding should be accepted now matter where it is done.