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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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October 1, 2005, 7:34 am CDT

My opinions on these topics...

I couldn't help but offer my opinions on these controversial questons.  As far as breastfeeding in public, I have to say that I was very nervous when my daughter was born because I didn't  think  I would   feel comofortable breastfeeding in public, but it's different once you have your baby.  I think that there are two extremes when it comes to breastfeeding in public.  Breastfeeding is natural and beautiful, not to mention essential to your child's health and well-being.  However, we do need to hold some standards of modesty in public.  I believe it's perfectly ok to breastfeed in public, as long as you are covered up.  I always kind of cringe when I see the woman who walks into the grocery store with a baby on her breast, baring it all for the world to see.  To me, breastfeeding is something sacred and should be done with some sort of modesty out in public. 

I DO NOT think that schools should be handing out condoms.  That is sending the WRONG message to children and I don't think it's the school's place.  Parents should be teaching their children about sex.  I think when we leave such topics up to a school to teach, there's bound to be chaos.  Our schools have enough trouble teaching our children in reading and writing.  Leave sex education up to the parents.  There are other places that children can get condoms if they so wish to do so.  (such as Planned Parenthood). 

I also do not belive that anyone else has a right to discipline your child if you are there.  If  your child is with another parent and you are not there, they need to be able to discipline your child. However, it would be a good idea to discuss acceptable discipline methods ahead of time.  I think if you are out in public and your child is acting up, it is nobody else's business to step in.  I know there have been many times I have WANTED to step in, but to do so would be rude and really wouldn't solve a thing except to offend the parent, which in turn would probably make things worse for the child!  If you see a parent abusing their child, however, then it MAY be appropriate to say somthing. 
 
October 1, 2005, 3:34 pm CDT

Breastfeeding in Public

I am a mother of three who breastfed each child for two years.  I breastfed anywhere and anytime that my children were hungry.  And yet I NEVER exposed my breasts.  There were many times that friends and/or strangers would look at me and or talk to me and yet not even know I was indeed breastfeeding.  I live in Florida, where by law I can breastfeed in public.  I agree that  woman should be ale to breastfeed her baby ANYWHERE. I also know that there is no need to expose the breast while nursing.  There are specially designed clothes for discrete nursing and there are ways to cover up so that the worl does not see the breast.  I do not find it an unpleasant thing to see.  I actually feel sad for little babies whose mom's chose to not breastfeed so that they are less tied to the baby and more freedom to come and go.  How a mom cannot want to hold a child to her breast to feed him is beyond me and yet I understand that it a choice for everyone to make.  Mothers who do not breastfeed there children do not love their children anyless than those who do.  I am glad thati did and would never think of offering my baby formula when I have two breasts that work just fine.  I also think that mom's who say they tried to breastfeed and quit after only days or weeks, didn;t try enough.  Rarely does a mom not have enough milk for her baby. Ignorance, stress and lack of support or usually to blame. 

  

Marta P. 

Miami, Florida 

 
October 1, 2005, 7:46 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

As a formal teen of the generation, i am surprised that so many people have said NO to schools giving out condoms and them giving the wrong message. I think it's a good idea. i un-like most teens watch Dr. Phil almost daily. i have a health class in school right now, and yeah sure they did hand out condoms ONE time but that doesn't mean that everyone takes one. i didn't because i believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. sex should happen after marriage. the school is not telling you to have sex, their telling you that if you are going to have sex that you need to know what the consequences can be and that you need protection not only so the female won't get pregnant but also so that you won't get an STD. so i have to say that their NOT giving the wrong message and that they should give them out, because not every parent informs their kids on STD's and protection. they always tell us that the only 100% effective way not to get pregnant, or get an STD is to not have sex, and i have to say i'm disappointed that people think that all teens will take the condoms and have sex because that's NOT me. pre-marital sex is wrong, but educating kids on the subject is right. 

 
October 2, 2005, 1:35 pm CDT

Breastfeeding.....

I breastfed one of my 4 kids for 12 months.  The others I didn't.  I really don't remember breastfeeding in public.  Although it doesn't bother me to see a mom breastfeed her baby WITHOUT TEETH in public.  What would be an interesting subject is talking to mom's who breastfeed their older children.....??????  Kindergarden?  And that's not funny, but they have that Le Leche Club thing and some woman either culturally or for whatever reason go beyond what is necessarily.  At least in my opinion.  Anyone else ever hear of this?
 
October 2, 2005, 3:16 pm CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: migal2127

As a formal teen of the generation, i am surprised that so many people have said NO to schools giving out condoms and them giving the wrong message. I think it's a good idea. i un-like most teens watch Dr. Phil almost daily. i have a health class in school right now, and yeah sure they did hand out condoms ONE time but that doesn't mean that everyone takes one. i didn't because i believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. sex should happen after marriage. the school is not telling you to have sex, their telling you that if you are going to have sex that you need to know what the consequences can be and that you need protection not only so the female won't get pregnant but also so that you won't get an STD. so i have to say that their NOT giving the wrong message and that they should give them out, because not every parent informs their kids on STD's and protection. they always tell us that the only 100% effective way not to get pregnant, or get an STD is to not have sex, and i have to say i'm disappointed that people think that all teens will take the condoms and have sex because that's NOT me. pre-marital sex is wrong, but educating kids on the subject is right. 

You are unfortunately the exception to the rule with many kids today. You believe sex before marriage is wrong, and that is a good thing!  I wish there were more kids like you!  Your school sounds like they are a little more truthful in their sex ed program.  Is your school's sex ed program abstinence based?  or have you made your decision based on parental/church guidance? also did your school tell you that condoms are only about 85% effective in preventing pregnancy and STDs?  I believe education is the best thing, but let's not lead these kids astray by telling them one thing (premarital sex is a bad idea) then turning around and giving them condoms.  to me that makes no sense whatsoever. 

  

 
October 2, 2005, 3:49 pm CDT

breastfeeding, condoms and discipline

Breast feeding in public?  I have no problem with it as long as she doesn't call a lot of attention to herself, which I personally have NEVER seen happen.  If baby's hungry, feed him/her! 

  

Condoms in schools? it's giving tacit permission to kids.  we have NO PROBLEM saying "SAY NO TO DRUGS" , "DON'T SMOKE", "DON'T DRINK!"  Why can't we tell our kids "SAY NO TO SEX"??  the argument "they're going to do it anyway" is not a valid one.  One can also say, "they're going to smoke anyway, do drugs anyway, or they're going to drink alcohol anyway, so let's give them "safe" light cigarettes, clean marijuana, etc., in school."  Give me a break!  why is it ok for our teens to have sex?  oh wait... the abortion industry has to thrive.  they would lose money if our kids didn't have sex.  condoms?  they fail.  a lot.  If you're 13 year old daughter gets pregnant and what do you do?  (I would hope most would place the baby for adoption!) unfortunately, too many will abort, which is why the industry is a multi billion dollar a year business.   

We are lying to our kids and permitting them to make mistakes that will affect them the rest of their lives.  Why can't we tell them the truth instead of sanitizing it and making it a "decision" for them?  We teach them about the bad effects of drugs, but don't tell them "if you should decide to use drugs, especially IV drugs, use a sterile needle."  It's time to be parents and "just say no" to schools handing out condoms and get involved with your school's sex ed program. 

  

I'll say something to a parent if the kid is acting up and the parent is doing nothing. and if a parent still does nothing, I have no qualms about correcting a child, especially if it may be affecting my property or someone elses.  maybe, just maybe, they'll get the message that society won't put up with their bad behavior.  but then again, maybe I'm an optimist. 

 
October 2, 2005, 9:03 pm CDT

Be Prepared

Quote From: coldfeat

You are unfortunately the exception to the rule with many kids today. You believe sex before marriage is wrong, and that is a good thing!  I wish there were more kids like you!  Your school sounds like they are a little more truthful in their sex ed program.  Is your school's sex ed program abstinence based?  or have you made your decision based on parental/church guidance? also did your school tell you that condoms are only about 85% effective in preventing pregnancy and STDs?  I believe education is the best thing, but let's not lead these kids astray by telling them one thing (premarital sex is a bad idea) then turning around and giving them condoms.  to me that makes no sense whatsoever. 

  

I have no problem with giving out free condoms in the schools. Pre-marital sex, or any sexual relationship, is much more than an "idea," it is also a matter of hormones. We tell people when driving a car to wear a seat belt - not because we truely believe they will be in an accident but because we wish them to be prepared in case they are in an accident; just in case they should use poor judgment and go too fast around a curve. It seems to me that even the best intentioned can make a mistake, why should the pentality for that mistake be contracting an STD, some which can be life-threatening, or conceiving a child that is not truely wanted.  Whether a person of any age has pre-marital sex is a matter of moral values coupled with their ability to control their emotions. Not an easy task  even for those of a mature age, whatever that may be.
 
October 3, 2005, 6:05 am CDT

where to start

What in the world is worng with people.... 

Why are people so offended by a woman feeding her child? Are breastfeeding mamas to remain locked away indoors until they are no longer breast feeding their child..Why are these mothers to be punished for giving their child the best nourishment ever to be produced... 

Close your eyes ..dont look...get over it move on...leave Breastfeeding mamas alone....Why are you looking at her anyways. Or do you have some sort of sick fascination as to how you were nourished as a baby. How would you like it if your mother chose to give you the best and people asked her to removed herself from the premesis cause she was offending people because you were hungry.   

  

 
October 3, 2005, 6:14 am CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: missjane2

I breastfed one of my 4 kids for 12 months.  The others I didn't.  I really don't remember breastfeeding in public.  Although it doesn't bother me to see a mom breastfeed her baby WITHOUT TEETH in public.  What would be an interesting subject is talking to mom's who breastfeed their older children.....??????  Kindergarden?  And that's not funny, but they have that Le Leche Club thing and some woman either culturally or for whatever reason go beyond what is necessarily.  At least in my opinion.  Anyone else ever hear of this?

Yes I have and have lots of friends that attend these meetings.... 

Why is this offensive to you?. Is this act haulting your life somehow? Does the fact that a woman chosing to BF her child beyond the age of 1 somehow harm your life in any way.? I think that people these days need to be more open minded. Did you realize that this act does still occur in places other then the US. Certain tribes in Africa practice this method. Its called child lead weaning.  

What is it to you really that these men and women choose to live a natural lifestyle and not abstain to how you view how things should be done.  

And for the record, NO i do not still BF my children, I choose not to.  

In the future do not be so judgemental of others and maybe  you will reflect something good onto your children about how to treat people and stop the predjudceness. 

  

 
October 3, 2005, 8:16 am CDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: missjane2

I breastfed one of my 4 kids for 12 months.  The others I didn't.  I really don't remember breastfeeding in public.  Although it doesn't bother me to see a mom breastfeed her baby WITHOUT TEETH in public.  What would be an interesting subject is talking to mom's who breastfeed their older children.....??????  Kindergarden?  And that's not funny, but they have that Le Leche Club thing and some woman either culturally or for whatever reason go beyond what is necessarily.  At least in my opinion.  Anyone else ever hear of this?
I'm very insulted that you would make comments like this. I still breastfeed my 17 month old son. It's the healthiest, most natural thing to do. Eventhough my son didn't get TEETH until he was 10 months, some get them very early... why on earth should a mother STOP breastfeeding her child because of teeth? You said you breastfed only one of your children for 12 months... did they not have teeth yet?!?! Why would you take away the HEALTHIEST, MOST LOVING, PERFECT nourishment your child could have?! That just seems ignorant to me. Please do more research before making prejudicial comments like that in the future. LaLecheLeague helps TONS of new moms in the quest for breastfeeding, no matter how long they intend to do so. They're an amazing group of women. Oh and in honor of the intended questions... YES! I would breastfeed my baby anywhere, anytime. People don't have to look. I don't look at things I don't like. Babies should be respected before others, it's just my opinion. When they CAN understand to hold on and wait, great... but in the meantime- keep giving those babies the greatest food on earth.
 
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