Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

 Not too long ago, there was a boat load of refugees from Haiti floating in the ocean.  They were out of food and out of fresh water.  They only way they survived was because of a breastfeeding mother who shared her milk (after baby of course) so that they would not die.  Is that wrong???

When I say respectfully, I am saying that we don't have to take our clothes off or whatever, there is a modest way of breastfeeding in public, some may be able to do it easir then others but why not breastfeed respectfully? I nursed my children often when they were hungry but I never co slept with my children, it is not neccassry to co sleep to nurse often, that is also a choice. Of course I pumped before I went to bed and since I never woke my babies to feed them, I would get up and pump ususally once during the night. ANy way, whatever the case, I highly encourage breast feeding and encourage mothers to do it whenever and whereever they need to.

I was a teenager not that long ago, (I recently turned 20), and I still have some friends who are still in high school. I think the situation should be looked at in a logical, thoughtful, sincere way. Of course abstinence is the only 100% sure way to avoid STDs and pregnancy, but teenagers have been having sex for millions of years and thinking that by just telling them that they shouldn't have sex and stoping their knowledge at that would be irresponsible. Especially with the diseases that are out right now.  

  

I have volunteered to work at the student medical center and it is appauling what a lot of students, people who are in their late teens and early twenties, don't know about their own bodies. There are also a  lot of myths about sex that many kids still have in the 21st century. (And I go to a very good school with smart kids!)  

  

Personally, I feel like schools should be involved in teaching sex ed, mostly due to the fact that sex ed isn't just a "moral" or "ethical" issue. But it is also a medical one. And it doesn't even necessarily have to do with sex as it does to do with secondary sex characteristics that you develop after puberty. I have talked to girls who don't realise that they pee out of a different hole than they have a period out of. I am not sure if all parents have succificent medical knowledge about the operations of the body, so strictly speaking from the medical side of things, I do believe that schools should be involved. For example: When I was 15 years old, I was placed on the birth control pill to help aleviate very very painful ovarian cysts. I learned about ovarian cysts at school and I was able to talk with my pediatrican about the pain that I was having. Before I knew about it I thought I was just going crazy. My pediatrician was able to talk with my parents and together we all agreed that the pill was the best option for me. It was the only thing that helped me instead of taking gobs of ulcer creating ibuprofen or taking narcotics that could have inhibited my academic performance. And it's not like I decided to go out and start having wild unprotected sex at that age simply because I was placed on the pill. This desicion was a strictly medical desicion and a very serious problem that I may still have had to deal with today if I hadn't first been informed about ovarian cysts in sex education when I was a sophmore. 

  

Personally speaking, I have several friends who are virgins; three of them are 19, one of them is 23. I even know another woman who is still a virgin at 32.  I have another friend who is 19 who has a baby boy and a fiancee who is the father of her child. I have  friends who are monogamous sexual relationships and others who have sex with multiple partners. I respect all of my friends equally and I do not judge them on their personal choices. I am not saying that I necessarily agree with everyone's personal choices but it is a free country. They all know the possible consequences of their actions and are mature about  whatever it is that they choose to do. Those of my friends who are virgins, not all of them necessarily are against sex before marriage, and not all of them have decided to be celibate due to religious religions. Most of my friends who are celibate choose to do so because it is the only reliable way to avoid STDs. Also, you could give them a whole bucket full of condoms and they still wouldn't have sex because it is their own personal choice. 

  

When I was 17, I went on an exchange program to Sweden. In this country, they have condoms available at the school nurse just like Tylenol is provided by our school nurses. They were not "passed out"; you had to go get them yourself. Sweden has a much lower teen pregnancy rate and STD rate compared to the USA. I highly doubt that this is only due to condoms but it is also due to the fact that Swedish teenagers have a much more open and candid relationship with their parents when it comes to discussions about sex. Most of the Swedish teenagers that I knew had no qualms asking their parents questions and their parents were more than willing to answer. Also, their parents talked to them about sex at very early ages. I feel like in the USA, many teenagers are very intimidated to talk to their parents about their questions and concerns. They are afraid that their parents will judge them and not understand. I also feel that many parents in the USA wait too late to talk to their kids about sex or never talk to their kids about sex at all because they feel uncomfortable. They think that if they just ignore it that it will go away. But if the parents and the schools do not inform them about sex they will get misinformation from their peers about it. 

  

So pretty much I would encourage all parents to be able to talk with their children about this topic in a mature, comfortable way (being a teen is a very precarious scary time! Sex is just one piece of the puzzle. So please have compassion for your children and other teens.) If you believe that abstinence is best or whatever your personal beliefs are about the subject, please tell them. They are your children, and it's not my place or anyone else's to tell you how to raise them as you see fit. But I would also like to add that they will not be under 18 years old forever. College is a very different place in which teens and young adults will have to make their own desicions. College is a time in which people start having their own ideas about the world and changing their previous beliefs, whether it's political, religious, what to major in, and even sexual. So the same person who is one way when they are 16 may be completely different when they are 19. I have met many people who were "good girls" or "good boys" in high school but then go completely wild in college. These young people tend to be the most irresponsible in their actions because they havn't had to make their own desicions before and are the most likely to have to drop out of college due to being pregnant, or worse, getting an STD. So please inform your children in a mature, loving way about sex. 

  

Thank you. 

I undestood your message and the point you were trying to get across. Sorry for not commenting on it before. I think it very informative of you to have stated this fact... 

I commend you on your work with teens. I do hope they get what they need to be better parents. 

Why bring co-sleeping into this.  Many familes co-sleep, most peoples reasons for it do not include because they BF, its their lifestlye and they believe the family bed is best for their family. Lets not bring stereotyping into an already heated topic. 

I do however see the  point you are trying to make, but like so many people they think that is the sole purpose of co-sleeping. But this is a whole other subject.  

Here's my twelve cents: 

I am a twenty-something college student and I work with young prenant teenagers. I know that many of you feel that handing condoms out in school is teaching children that it is okay to have sex. However, many of you are failing to realize that without proper education about sex, many young women end up having sex because they truly don't know any better. Also, you could say till you're blue in the face NOT to have sex (until marriage), but some teens will do it anyways. If they don't have the knowledge about how to protect themselves, then they could end up being parents before they are ready. My youngest client is ten years old. And yes, she is seven months pregnant. Her parents never ever spoke to her about sex, and her school didn't cover the topic either, so she learned all that she knew about sex from second-hand and tertiary sources. Now she is pregnant with no support from her family--they thought she should know better, even though they never talked to her about how to protect herself and say no.  

Now I also know that there are many of you out there who feel that parents should be responsible for talking to their children about sex. However, there are so many parents out there who either don't feel comfortable about the subject themselves or weren't educated enough themselves to talk to their children. It becomes difficult to educate someone or tell them to say know when you yourself know so little about the subject. It also becomes a matter of do as I say and not as I do. There are quite a few hypocrite parents out there who say NO CONDOMS, but they themselves had children as teens out of wedlock, etc etc.  

I'm not saying that condoms should be shoved in childrens' faces, but they do need some knowledge of how to use them. At least at school, the kids will get the correct information. Parents may not know all of the science about everything, but our kids do need to be equipped to face reality. Because, whether you want to hear it or not, there WILL come a time when your son/daughter is faced with a decision about sex. If they make the decision to take that leap, at least they can do it safely. 

If more schools offered sex education and at least showed how to use condoms (maybe not even allow kids to take them) and parents were willing to learn a little as well, then I wouldn't be mentoring a ten year old who is about to become a mother. 

Exceptionally well put. This really isn't just a moral or medical issue. So many myths circulate about sex and human anatomy, it is simply astonishing. Sexual education, at least from a medical standpoint needs to be taught. There are many people my age (22-25 range) who still don't know exactly how a baby is created. All they know is that sex is somehow involved. That is so sad, if schools at the very very least taught just this bare minimum, and allowed parents to take care of the ethical stuff, we'd be in somewhat better shape

I have an idea for those who don't like to see women nursing in public.  Whenever and wherever you see a nursing woman feeding her child in public, go complain not to the mom but to the manager, supervisor, the most important person you can find.  Tell them how wrong you feel it is, but make sure you tell them that nursing moms should have a separate "mother's" room with rocking chairs, a nice changing table, maybe some soft music playing and a vending machine with soda, coffee, snacks, etc.  A nice massage chair wouldn't be bad either.  Maybe a little play area for the older tots.  If every place I went had something like that, I'd NEVER nurse out in pubice, lol! 

  

Sorry, don't mean to make light of this topic.  But wouldn't you rather nurse in a room like that than out on some bench somewhere getting glared at?  I know I would! 

Ok, I never breast feed my two girls but i also feel that there is a proper place to breast feed i mean have some kinda respect for those around u its not about the right to do it in public there is just a right and a wrong place to do it.  And as far as passing out condoms in school what the hell are u parents thinking i mean gee u are basically tells your kids thats its ok to do it because u are protected ahhh no how about u try being a parent and not hoping that the condom will do the parenting for u .. What is wrong with simple sitting down and talking to your kids about sex let them trust u enough that if they are considering it that they will at least come to you .. instead of going to a girl and say hey lets have sex my mom says its ok she even gave me protecting then they will start influsing the girls and then u have a chain reaction..

And where do YOU think is a proper place, where exactly is the right place?