Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

It is unfortunate that one of todays guests compared breast feeding with exposing her backside because of low cut jeans.  The bodily functions of said body parts are very different. 

That said....I think that it is reasonable to expect modesty and self respecting behavior in any public place.  That includes the woman with the low-cut or sheer blouse designed to entice and draw attention to herself, the couple in the corner table pawing each other, and to the woman trying to feed her child.  Not that any of these equates the other. 

Then again, if you are so offended by what you see, perhaps you should take your dinner to the restroom.   Or, better yet, go home.  Where you can watch erectile dysfunction commercials followed by lingerie ads with women parading down a runway in sheer bras and panties and then, feminine protection commercials follwed by ads for diarrhea products.   

Frankly, I find breast feeding far less offensive. 

Dr. Phil, 

I want to comment on your show today with regards to disciplining other people's children.  As a mother of 2 (10 yr old step-daughter & 6 month old daughter), I have absolutely no patience for ill-behaved children.  I absolutely agree with the woman who said it is okay to say something to the child or parent depending on the situation.  This "involvement" with others' children obviously has limits.  For example, if a child is doing something bad directly to me, is endangering themselves or others, or swearing around my children, then I always say something to them.  But if the misconduct does not affect me, my kids, or the general public (i.e picking their nose, hitting their brother), then that's the parents' issue to deal with.   

I would also like to express my frustration with the mother of 3 that appeared on the show today.  She seemed to be saying that the more kids you have, the more excuses you have to disrupt public settings.  This is absolutely the wrong attitude to have as a parent, and what's more disturbing, is that she has another one on the way!  If you can't handle 3, what makes you think that you can handle 4!  If your current parenting style (when even your Pastor is making parenting requests of you), then what you are doing ISN'T WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!  Take the time to change your approach, seek help, do SOMETHING to get your kids under control!   

So what your saying is that if I am in a restaurant where you are,  then i had better look the other way?  Why do you think that I should have to look the other way, why shouldnt you have to go into a restroom or a private room????   

So if I smoke a cigarette in a public place where your breastfeeding, you should leave if you dont want your child or yourself to be exposed to my smoke!   

Interesting that you pair your post with a sexually suggestive picture.  

Do you really think that mother dog of yours is going to nurse her young in the back room once they start moving around? I doubt it! It might work while they are just a few days old and can't get out of the box... 

I would like to address 2 things: 1-Condoms in school, 2-Disciplining children 

1. CONDOMS IN SCHOOL, 

I'm 31 and glad that condoms were available in school.  Didn't have much use for them cuz I was so active in school sports, but I knew I could confidently get one if needed.  People who are too old fashioned need to realize that young people today are going to have sex, especially b4 marriage just as I did.  After all, I don't buy a car until I test drive it for compatibility and if suits me.  The #1 reason for breakups in North America is money, #2 is sex.  If you knew the #2 reason (theoretically) for accidents was the way a car handled, wouldn't you test drive it first???  Tell me who religiously buys cars purely on sight and options alone, and I'll consider it a valid point.   

Kids are going to have sex one way or another, so help them protect themselves.  And don't give me the excuse that 'that' is the reason for so many diseases today, syphilis was around long before we came to this continent.  Protect the kids or pay to help with their children or disease or both in many cases... all due to no condom.   

2. DISCIPLINING CHILDREN, 

When I was young, if I were misbehaving, I got it.  Either a slap on the hand for something I touched or slap on the butt for something I did or bad behaviour.  People say, did you like it?  I say no.  But if I didn't get it, I may not have liked prison either.  Fortunately my parents 'gave it to me' when I deserved it so that I'd understand that there may be more serious concequences at times other than losing use of my tv (which I didn't have either).  At 31 the worst thing I've ever gotten into was a speeding ticket and weed for short period after a bad 3 1/2 yr breakup with the woman b4 my wife.  Haven't touched it since.   

Just as I was typing this, my 1 3/4 yr old boy got into the sewing basket by climbing up on a stack of books and got into it deep.  I slapped his hand and spoke to him in a stern voice as I've taught him to understand by my tone of voice I mean business.  The slap on the hand was to show him he's not to touch that particular thing.   Believe me, the odds of him doing it again are slim given my approach.  Understand, I do not 'beat' my child and have never 'spanked' him like the tradition goes.  Usually a swat on the diaper is more than enough as he doesn't even feel it.  What he DOES feel is an overwhelming shock of 'what the hell happened, wow that scared me'.  The association prevents him from doing it again.   

Ironically my wife who's a little more layed back with him thinks I'm tough, but granted, she appreciates the fact that when she can't handle him, daddy's coming!!  Suddenly the behaviour stops just by me approaching him = worked for me as a kid too.  Damn if my mother walks toward me now @ 31, I get chills.  But like my mother, I love him far more than I chastize him.  So he knows he can come to me when he needs to for protection at his time of need.  I love him and pick him up to bond with him especially when he's good, not just when he's bad, it has to be both ways to earn his respect.  And even at his age, they can respect you or disrespect you.   

I started being 'hard' on Ethan since the day he could reach for something so a yr and half later, if he reaches for the outlet on the wall and I say NO with a stern look and glare on my face, he gets the idea and slowly pulls his hand away from the plug.. Some say you can hurt their feelings like that, damn right.  Better than being electricuted and answering questions from strangers like "Why did you let him do that?"  Well we'll never get to that point cuz his upbringing has taught him that some things that are done, may result in serious consequences for him.  Even though he can't understand the word yet, I explain to him why it's bad every time he tries something like that.   

Believe me, he gets it. BTW, I'll never tell him "I spanked you cuz I love you".  My mother used to say that and that is a negative connotation.  I would much rather not spank specifically unless severity demands it, and would rather tell my son that I disciplined him to teach him the difference between right and wrong, and why.  Like I touched on before, show respect and then you will get it back.  

I have one child, a daughter,13 months, and I breastfed for 6 weeks by pumping becasue she would not latch correctly. I don't feel there is anything wrong with breastfeeding in public as long as you are covered.  However, I completely agree with you on the age at which a child should NOT be breastfed. I feel that when a Dr. or nurse tells you to begin weening your child from the bottle, the breast should be included. Most physicians will tell you to be using a sippy cup,or trying to transition to a cup, at the age one one year.  Why would you continue to breastfeed a child that can ask for juice or a hotdog. To me, that is totally unnecessary and strange. I find it disgusting to see a woman in public breastfeeding a child that can walk, talk, and eat food beyond a jar. 

Dr. Phil should address this issue for a real debate!