Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

Dr.Phil: 

I am rather disappointed in your segment on Breastfeeding in public.  I understand that this is a hot topic and was presented as a debate between two very extreme women.  However I would have thought that you might have presented some research or perhaps had a IBCLC (Lactation Consultant), Dr. William Sears or Dr. Nils Bergman on the show to talk about the research behind breastfeeding and the benefits of breastfeeding, in public or wherever.  I strongly believe that the people who are to the extreme against breastfeeding in public feel this way because they perhaps are not educated on the issue.  You have the priviledge of educating people about so many things being in your position and this is one area where you could have stepped up.  I personally believe that it is up to the woman breastfeeding where and when she should do so.  I do breastfeed in public and can't say that my breast is ever "hanging out" I do not however put a blanket over my baby.   

Hello, I'm a passed breastfeeding mother of 4.   

20 plus years ago, I fed my children discreetly, in public.  NO one knew.  People  thought they were asleep in my arms.   The clothing that I wore was to assist in this regard.    I had a blanket that was not over them, it was around them.  It also covered me up as well. 

 I never fed my children in public restrooms!  The thought was gross! 

I was well scheduled and fed my children before we went out to eat.  That way I could enjoy the evening.  And fed my children before we went anywhere.  The times that I had to feed them, in public,was to put them to sleep.  My babies  knew that and did not play with the blanket, to toss it off. 

I think the key here is the word discreet.  Being careful to not offend others, and "your" modesty as a mother.  Those are qualities that we want to pass on to our children...not our right to do what ever we want to, because it's natural. 

Are you disgusted by all of the garbage you see on TV?  If not then, what's the big deal with breastfeeding.  It's people like you that need to educate yourself on why breastfeeding is important. Instead of complaining about the 16year old you should be trying to help her to be the best parent she can be, and I can tell you she is already off to a great start.  She is a child and she is learning, and when you are at home as she was, she can walk do whatever.  Isn't that the argument in the first place.  Do it in the privacy of your own home, OH, but not if you're there.  Get over yourself. Brother, Fathers, grandfathers know what a breast looks like.  Do you know how much money she is saving by breastfeeding. Do you even know that by her breastfeeding her child is less likely to have severe illnesses because of the strong immune system she is building in her child.  Who needs a friend like you.  Next time you see that young lady, applaud her breastfeeding efforts.  Her technique will get better later.  Some people worry about the dumbest things.  Here are some good parenting resource tools for your friends child.  Make yourself useful and give guidance instead of dumb comments.  Mike and Debbie Pearl at nogreaterjoy.org  Train Up a Child great for young parents on parenting training.  Why don't you give it to her as a gift, and keep your mouth shut. 

That tickles me that you got by with that.  I can't count the times that my husband and I have gone to Wal-Mart and have seen children behaving just like that.  And I have been mowed over by these very children.  I usually tell them that their mother is calling them, but then when that doesn't work I tell them to stop! 

But almost as bad as that are the parents that have screaming kids in their carts, and they are either ignoring them or screaming at them to shut up.   

We had 2 kids, and when one of them would act up and there was no getting through to them the shopping trip was over.  One of us would take the child out to the car while the other paid for the purchases.  Or if I was alone with the kids I would tell the clerk that I had to leave because of a unruly child and apologize for her having to put my items back.  We have great kids (now grown) and didn't have to do that but once. 

I'm with you, after watching the show, I WAS angry! I can't believe how there are so many self centered people like you in this world. Yes, breastfeeding is a natural thing! BUT it is also a private thing! Just like love making, nudity, etc. It is not a shameful thing but it should be done in private. You won't want to see an adult suckling on a breast in private, making out! Well, we shouldn't have to see a baby breastfeeding either! "I think it is just respect for another human beings space." Or does that only come into affect where you think it should?! 

When my 2-year-old was born, we had one child in middle school, two in high school, one in college and one in medical school.  If I had not breastfed in public, I would have missed my other children's tennis matches, soccer games, football games, basketball games, swim meets, banquets, plays, concerts and graduation.  I am thankful that when my son scored baskets on the court that I was tucked away in the stands nursing my youngest son instead of the lockerroom.  My baby has had many a meal from the bleachers or auditorium seat.  People around me were always supportive.  I covered with a blanket when I could; but, sometimes in the sauna-like atmosphere of a swim meet that wasn't  possible.  I think when women are bothered by by a breastfeeding mother, it is because they feel guilty that they didn't breastfeed their child.  Breastfeeding mothers are totally devoted to meeting the needs of their child and that may make other mothers self-conscious if they do not have the opportunity or the desire to be that type of mother.  My two-year-old is still nursing and we try to do it in private because the American society doesn't accept this.  However, in other countries, he could nurse until he is much older.  I have nursed both of my sons and they are healthy and happy.  My daughter was bottled-fed and suffers from allergies and has trouble regulating her weight.  My step-children were nursed as babies and they are also very healthy.  Our children that breastfed seem to choose a healthier diet.  When my daughter was born, I was discouraged by my mother, my grandmother and the nursing staff to breastfeed.  I was so young that I doubt I would have ever had the discipline to do it anyway.  I'm not faulting mothers who choose not to breastfeed, just quit worrying about the mothers who do.  Why should you care, where we do it, when we do it or how long we do it?  Get over it!  Our society as a whole would be healthier if more mothers chose to breastfeed their infants.  I can't imagine comparing a nursing a baby to someone pulling their pants down in public.  Someone who can't understand the difference is uneducated on the subject.  A woman on these boards said she didn't want to explain to her 5-year-old son what was going on when he saw a breastfeeding mother.  My friend with a son that age explained to him that mothers made milk for their babies just like his cat fed her kittens.  Is that woman embarrased for her 5-year old to see a cat or dog nursing it's kittens or puppies?  How sad that we live in a country where the behavior of farm animals is more acceptable than a mother trying to do what's best for her child,