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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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twsinc
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October 8, 2005, 7:14 am PDT

What's Most Important is Getting Lost Here

The care and feeding of an infant is the most important issue and those who are offended should take a look at their priorities on this issue.  A breast feeding mother is caring for a child in a natural way. That is all it is. I have read very little concern about the infant in this forum. Get a grip. If you have a problem with it don't impose your morals or your discomfort with the female body onto a mother doing what nature created breasts for...a means to feed a child. Look the other way! It is just that simple and be grateful that the child is being cared for and not another neglected, abused baby. I think there are way more imprtant things you need to concern yourself with in this world. If caring for an infant in a natural way offends you then it's your problem. Stop trying to make it someone else's problem.
 
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tbeeman

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October 8, 2005, 7:15 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: mommy_2004

That mom may not have minded your comment, but personally I would've ripped you a new one. Obviously shie already had the situation under control. There was no need for your rude comment. Would you like it if someone told you that they wouldn't sell you something because of the way you acted. If that were the case, there are a lot of people in this country who wouldn't be allowed to buy anything. Next time you pat yourself on the back for yelling at someone else's kid, think twice and bite you tounge. The next mom might not appriciate your rude comments.
Actually this person reinforced to this child that his bad behavior was not going to get him what he wanted.  She didn't say she yelled, if she had yelled at the child I don't think the mother would have said "Thank You".  Her comment showed the child  his mother was not the only person who found his behavior unacceptable.  And "NO" means "NO" 
 
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1withowlis
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October 8, 2005, 7:15 am PDT

People will do what they want

  • If everyone respected their bodies and avoid sex before they get married, there wouldn't be a debate such as the one on Dr. Phil. The doc is right. The huge over indulgence of the media is definitely to blame for peoples' misconduct. Feeding lustful appetizing movies and tv shows, including music. I remember the show about how powerful music is. Well, on the other side of this positive affect can have an immensely negative affect as well. Hollywood gives people good reason to be immoral all to make money. So, only a parent can train up a child in the right way to go.
  • Curiosity killed the cat. Violent movies, sex and certain lyrics in music( videos) that praises immorality make young (inexperience) people curious.
 
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linzjongat
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October 8, 2005, 7:15 am PDT

well...

Quote From: shellyee

You have never met me, spent time with me, or  even know a single thing about me. Is it possible you are also being judgemental? I think compromise is fair. Why don't you (and how would that make me MORE rude)?

you have never met me, spent time with me, or even know a single thing about me. You have never witnessed me breast feeding my child and I have said many times that I respect the feelings of others even if I don't agree with them. I covered my babies as long as they would tolerate it, and then wore a loose shirt to cover all but the baby. Telling a breast feeding mother to go the bathroom or to the car because she made the best decision for her baby is strange. I thought everyone knew the benefits of breast feeding, I guess not.  
 
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ammabuwa

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October 8, 2005, 7:17 am PDT

Breastdfeeding and parenting

I am a mother of two, I discreetly breastfeed my children anywhere they want to eat or feel better (breastfeeding is not just a nutrition source but also make baby feel safe, warm and loved). If blanket not available I try hard to cover my breast. I rather feed hungry, crying baby in public to calm him down than leaving him cry and disturb people surround me. 

  

Parenting others kid? I wish I could. But I don't think it is appropriate to teach someone who I don't know and they don't know me. If their parents are not capable (and don't care) of parenting their own children why should I? I know sometimes I wish they (children) should behave better, but my opinion is you (parents) got what you raise (children). To me it show how parents are. One day I took my children to playground, and they was twins boy push my child and they were helping each other to crush her. I went to take her away from them. Didn't see any sign that their parent would stop them hurting my child nor apologize me. I don't know if it is because I am immigrant, but I don't take crap from anyone and neither should my children. 
 
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raen36137
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October 8, 2005, 7:18 am PDT

Who's ever had lunch in a bathroom?...

The 1st time the people against breastfeeding in public ever actually get their food, go to the restroom and sit on a toilet for up to 45 mins to eat it, THEN they can say how breastfeeding mothers should do the same.  I BF both of my children, always discreetly though, and I never feel like I'm committing some obscene act.  I intend to continue to breastfeed my daughter whenever she needs me to, and it will not be while sitting on a toilet!
 
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dalfonsoc
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October 8, 2005, 7:18 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: sammysmom

 I am not a mother myself but I believe that breakfeeding should be a private thing. I agree with the lady you had on the show that was against the breastfeeding in public. I do not care to see such things while I am trying to eat a quiet dinner, watch a movie or even just shopping. No matter what I may be doing it should not be done in public. It can be taken to another room to be done and the rest of us, no matter whether it bothers us or not, should not have to see it. As the one mother for the breakfeeding stated that it is a bonding moment for child and mother, well, by missing the "BONDING TIMES" in public is not going to make or break the relationship between mother and child. How insecure is she to even make that statement!! There are alot of other times and events for bonding they can do if that is needed. It doesn't matter if the mother is covered up or not, people are still aware of what the mother is doing. If the child is hungry then take it to another room. Our dinner, movie or whatever should not have to be spoiled because a mother needs to feed her child. If it interupts the mothers dinner or movie or whatever than maybe she needs to schedule the feedings alittle different or make sure the baby eats before she goes out. The lady that was for breastfeeding in public was very selfish. You can tell her children are probably very spoiled as well as her. She's a very self centered person not to care about others feelings of what SHE is doing in their presence!! That is no different than if someone was making out, having sex or even changing a baby's diaper in public. WE DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!!!!!! And it DOESN'T matter if we can turn our heads away or not! What a stupid remark that was!
Talk about self-centered!  There are a lot of things I don't want to see - people smoking for example.  I remove myself.  Who are you to tell others what to do or not?  I don't believe  you had the audacity to call this woman self-centered.  I think your self-centered thinking a breast feeding mom should alter her beliefs or values for you  - a woman who is either ignorant of facts, hung up on sexuality, or insecure.  What you ovbiously are is selfish, judgemental, and pitiful. 
 
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cschardt
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October 8, 2005, 7:19 am PDT

breastfeeding in public

I don't  have a problem with women breast feeding in public as long as they are covered in some manner.  I have two sons and when they see a women breast feeding that isn't covered it makes them feel uncomfortable.  They don't have a problem with breast feeding they know it is a natural and loving way to care for a baby, but it is seeing other women's breast that bothers them.  So if you are going to breast feed in public just be thoughtful of the men around you.  Not every man what to see your breast.
 
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swallowd
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October 8, 2005, 7:21 am PDT

ummm...do you have any parenting skills?

Quote From: rachel23

I think that people especially those without kids should mind their own business when it comes to rowdy kids in public. Sure they can be disruptive but give the parents some time to settle them down. I think that unless the child is in immediate mortal danger you should let me deal with my own kids the way I want to and if my parenting style is to let them scream it out in public then so be it. Go somewhere they don't allow kids if you want peace and quite.
First I have to say, if you are one of those parents who let your child yell and scream through public places, you are not really much of a parent. Letting your child misbehave just because you are too lazy or uninformed to handle the situation, only tells me you would have no parenting style. As a mother myself my child knows how to behave in public and I have never had a problem taking her to stores and such even when she has wanted something and been told no. She also knows that any such scene would mean she would no longer come shopping or whatever with me. An adult carrying on and screaming in public would not be tolerated, but unless they are in mortal danger or putting others in such danger, we should just ignore it and live with it? Nope afraid not.
 
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danwen2
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October 8, 2005, 7:22 am PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: jamie11

my $0.02 on today's topics: 

breastfeeding in public- put it this way, i would find it rude as hell if i saw a mother breastfeeding out in the open without covering herself. if she wasn't covering herself, i would as fast as i could, request to go to another table nowheres near the mother if at a restaurant. if one wasnt available, i would get my ass out of the restaurant. i would hope that a mother and her baby would have the etiquette to go to the bathroom or in their car to breastfeed out of respect for everyone. also, why arent these mothers bringing bottles with milk for the baby? while breast milk is probably the bed nutritionwise, for when you are out of the house, formula is fine...... 

  

telling someone's kids to knock it off- i'm the the middle here. i would never tell a kid to knock it off or go to the parent just because it's not a big deal but a slight annoyance. however, it is hard as hell to be on a plane with screaming kids while the parent(s)'s sit back and do nothing. granted though most of the time, the parent(s)'s do try to quiet down the child(ren). i did once get pissed off enough at a child to do something about it. i was at a department store in the fitting room (the ones that dont lock but shut), and some little boy kept running across the room opening my door and looking under. i slamed the door LOUDLY each time the kid was doing this. the mother did not speak a word of english so i knew what i did got the point across. i wanted to try on my clothes in peace without some brat giving me a fricken headache. 

  

condoms in school- i graduated high school just a few years ago and i think america needs to wake up and realize you need to have an organized sex ed program where you teach EVERYTHING on how to use protection, stds, and that abstintance is best and the only guarantee. i agree 100% with the woman who was for condoms in school. like she said, this doesnt mean you are simpily passing them out to every child. imo schools should have a jar in the nurses office for students that annmously can pick up condoms. you are asking for trouble and thinking way over your head that most kids will refrain from having sex by only teaching abstinance. my high school taught abstinance only and let me tell you, students laughed the whole thing off. in an ideal world, abstinance education is great, but people need to be realistic and teach a variety of things to avoid stds and pregnancies. 

 Hmm - Respect for everyone.  What can I say, when my child is hungry I respect HER and feed.  As for the bathroom, you might find that is a good place for you to have your meal, but I am sure not interested in sharing my childs meal time with someone pooing, weeing or what ever else they may be doing in the toilet.  Maybe you should find someone to out with for a meal and you can spend less time looking at what everyone else around you is doing!!  I can bet my last dollar on this, you are probably around breastfeeding mothers more often than you even know, it can be a very discreet process.  And just a little technical info for you, I breastfeed my daughter and unfortunately I am unable to express my milk into bottles therefore it is straight from the breast or nothing for her.  If you are unfortunate enough not to know much about breastfeeding I'll fill you in - it can cause many problems for a mother to miss a feed, your body is a wonderful thing and still produces milk even when you go out of the house!  Amazing isnt it.  If that milk is not drained from your body to nourish you babies body then you can have leakage which can be rather unpleasant, you have the chance of becoming very sore, and even ill!  Also the breast works on supply to demand system, so if for some reason you dont feed your child when it is due, your body can slow down production, which can lead to many more problems for your baby.  So after all this, do you think it would be okay if I feed my baby when she is due, wherever I may be for as long as it takes without having to make sure that everyone around me is comfortble with it???   I promise, I wont do anything to make it unpleasant for you, but I can promise you this - you would enjoy your meal much less with my child screaming blue murder until I took her home to feed her.  Another whole topic "Should children be allowed in public places??"  have a great day and I hope one day you have the chance to experience the most natural thing a mother can do for her child.
 
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