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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates
Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
Find out what happened on the show.
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October 8, 2005, 1:02 pm PDT
 Quote From: lkubota In the above quote, the question was posed: "why should the penalty for that mistake be contracting an STD, some which can be life-threatening, or conceiving a child that is not truely wanted?" The answer is simple: because the only way we learn from our mistakes is when they have consequences. This is true for children and adults. Why would a child see it as mistake if there were no consequences? He/she would probably just see it as fun. STDs and unwanted pregnancies are natural consequences for improper behavior. You want to punish a teenager for having sex by making them have an unwanted child? Would you name the child "My little mistake" or "Natural Consequence"? |
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October 8, 2005, 1:04 pm PDT
Women who insist on breast feeding in public are selfish, rude and exhibitioists. My children were breast fed but NEVER in public, I have too much dignity. They survived to healthy adulthood without the public displays of "bonding" and I was not a recluse either. There are times and places for everything. Parents who do not have control of their children should not have them in public, period. Here's tip #1 - if a child does not, will not or can not understand and follow the concepts of "be quiet" and "stop" then they do not belong where they intrude in innocent people's lives. Tip #2 - if you can afford to raise four children you can afford to budget a babysitter. If you can't afford a babysitter you should not have four children. You are a burden to those of us who are capable of doing the math. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:06 pm PDT
I enjoyed the experience of nursing all 3 of my children for the first year of their lives. I am thankful for and fascinated by the process of a mom’s body making such efficient and complete nourishment for babies. As for modesty, I’m glad I was discreet while nursing in public, because by doing so I extended respect toward my husband, who was on the shy side about it, and also to any others around who might be uneasy. I will say, though, that covering up in the hot Texas summertime, though I used a light sheet, just makes Mom and baby hotter – I felt sorry for my poor baby sometimes when I saw the drops of perspiration on his or her face. Also, going to the restroom to nurse often meant sitting on the floor. Moms do sacrifice to show discretion, missing out on conversation or whatever is going on. It is nice to be around a group who doesn’t expect a nursing mom to leave when it’s time to feed the baby. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:09 pm PDT
Quote From: timswife04 Breastfeeding in public.... Adults don't eat in the bathroom and babies shouldn't have to either!! I mean could you take your food into a smelly public restroom and eat? I DON'T THINK SO!! If you don't want to see it then DON'T look, nobody is holding a gun to your head saying stare at that woman BFing her baby. And what is this about it being "unattractive"? It's not supposed to be attractive. I've saw women and men walking around in things that I didn't find "attractive" and I didn't critisize them and tell them that they need to stay at home if they aren't going to cover up. I don't BF but I don't have any problems with anyone who NIP, hey a babies gotta eat! Would they rather have to sit and listen to a hungry screaming baby or have peace and let the baby eat? Condoms..... As a teen myself I can relate to this subject. When I was in highschool we had Abstinence classes every year, they never gave us condoms they just told us NOT to have sex until we were married. However for my friends and that just made us want to do it more cuz we were being told not to and when I was told not to do something it always made it that much more appealing. When I was 16 (a sophmore in HS) I lost my virginity and we would not have used a condom had my brother-in-law not given them to me. After I started having sex I went to my local Health Dept and got put on BC (to this day my Mom does not know) cuz after the box of condoms my BIL gave me was gone we didn't have anymore and didn't want to just go to the store and get some so we never used another. When I met my husband (I was still 16) we never had any condoms so never used any until after I had our daughter. I got pregnant in April of 04 (I was 17) and had a miscarriage that June, then I found out I was preggo with our daughter in August of 04 (still 17). Anyway my point is, schools shouldn't be handing them out like candy but I do think that they should have them in bathrooms or something so that kids have a descrete easy way to get them cuz had it not been for my BIL I would have never used a condom, but would've still had sex when I did. Disipline.... If you have a problem with my child then COME TO ME. I will not take my child into restaurants that aren't kid friendly so if you don't want to hear children then dont' go to kid friendly restaruants. If my children are acting in ways that I feel is unappropriate for even a kid friendly place then I will act as quick as possible to remove her/ them but I DO NOT need rude looks/ comments while I am doing so. Adults don't each off of each others exposed body parts. We each off of plates, with silverware. But if you like, I am willing to try it the other way around and see if you are comfortable dining with me. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:13 pm PDT
Quote From: jenmousie No one gets offended by a baby bottle.
NOT TRUE!!! I get very offended every single time I see a child eating from a bottle. And it isn't the same. I wasn't able to develop a good nursing relationship with my first child, so I pumped and fed her with a bottle. Because she was eating from a bottle she had excess gas, spit-up and ear infections. Nursing at the breast eliminates most of the causes of those problems.
Then schedule your outings around the baby's' feeding time
Because breastmilk is better digested by a child's immature digestive tract it doesn't just sit there like formula. Formula feed babies are easier to "schedule" because they are being given a food that does not digest well and sits in their stomachs for longer because of it. Breast feed babies do eat more frequently and it is impossible to ALWAYS schedule feedings around other activites. Add in to the mix the occassional growth spurt where children demand more feedings for a day or two and you can't know when your child will need to eat next.
The best solution would be for folks to educate themselves about the benefits of feeding at the breast (the breast milk is great, getting it straight from the source is better). That and get over this immature idea that breasts are strictly for sexual pleasure. No wonder half the world thinks we are insane here in the US. Our celebraties can prance around half naked and that doesn't bother us but a woman breastfeeding causes all this debate! I too am extremely offended when I see a baby being bottle fed or with a pacifier stuck in its mouth. I think it is ugly and disgusting. It inteferes with how I am trying to raise my children.. to be healthy, to value babies and people, to discern what is true (breasts and mothers arms) and what is fake (bottles, pacifiers, baby swings, car seats as infant holders). If you decide to have a baby....stay home, breastfeed, hold your baby, give of your self to your baby and someday he/she will do the same loving things for you when you are old and can't feed yourself, turn over in bed or even to talk to the person who you are completely in LOVE with and dependent upon.
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October 8, 2005, 1:14 pm PDT
Quote From: dr_joy Rude people are everywhere, including women who insist on baring their breasts in public on the flimsy excuse that they are breast-feeding, not giving a damn about kindness or respect for others. During my pediatric internship, I found that the women who refuse to show discretion when breast feeding in public are almost always small breasted when their breasts are not engorged with milk, and feel insecure/inhibited sexually. They use the excuse of breast feeding to show off their breasts in public because they can convince themselves that it this is a morally, if not socially, acceptable way to show off their new, bigger breasts. Those who are emotionally and sexually secure, and endorse public breast feeding do it with respect and modesty, acklowledging and respecting that some natural acts are not meant to be done with no restraint in public places, and acknowledging that the breast IS a sexual object, NOT just a source of food for infants. My compassion goes out to the women who are so psychologically challenged , they need to hide behind and use their babies to become sexual exhibitionists. There are plenty of socially acceptable venues to do that, and family restaurants are NOT socially acceptable venues. Farting and belching are equally natural parts of eating for all people, not just babies, and thank goodness most people are kind and respectful and don't just "let one rip" while they are eating in public, simple because it's natural process to pass gas from both ends while eating.
Joy, M.D. "Dr. Joy",
I can't believe what I just read? I think you are in desperate need of Psychiatric help if you actually believe what you wrote! It's totally absurd to talk about breast feeding mothers being psychologically challenged and being sexual exhibitionists? I can't even go on, I am just so appalled that a Medical Doctor would admit to feeling the way you do about breast feeding. You have some major issues that you obviously need to deal with. It is scary to think that you are treating patients? |
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October 8, 2005, 1:15 pm PDT
Quote From: yungk0429 Breastfeeding in public: Here is my two cents. I beleive that breastfeeding is a natural thing and I am doing with my child. However not everyone sees breasteeding as a natural thing. Untill there is a law or an ordanice protecting breastfeeding women and more places to breastfeed your child that is not a bathroom we are going to have to put up with the law and rules that many public places have. We need to be patient and tolerance of others until the laws and rules change. As for women getting kicked out of public places; the owner has a right to do that. If enough people stop going to the public places then they will change the rules in order to attract business. Um...in most places there are laws protecting publically breastfeeding women..
http://www.lalecheleague.org/LawBills.html
I live in the state of New York:
NY CLS Civ R § 79-e (Article 7 Miscellaneous Provisions). § 79-E. Right To Breast Feed.
The state of New Jersey says:
N.J.S.A. 26:4B-4 2. Notwithstanding any provision of law to the contrary, a mother shall be entitled to breast feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation, resort or amusement wherein the mother is otherwise permitted
Vermont:
Vermont Senate Bill #156, 2001 Sec. 2. 9 V.S.A. §4502(j) : (J) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any place of public accommodation in which the mother and child would otherwise have a legal right to be.
California:
Cal. Civ. Code §43.3 Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and child are authorized to be present.
Alaska:
Alaska Stat. § 01.10.060(b), § 29.25.080 Sec. 01.10.060 (b) In the laws of the state, 'lewd conduct,' 'lewd touching,' 'immoral conduct,' 'indecent conduct,' and similar terms do not include the act of a woman breast-feeding a child in a public or private location where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be. Nothing in this subsection may be construed to authorize an act that is an offense under AS 11.61.123.
Sec. 29.25.080. Breast-feeding. A municipality may not enact an ordinance that prohibits or restricts a woman breast-feeding a child in a public or private location where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be. In a municipal ordinance, 'lewd conduct,' 'lewd touching,' 'immoral conduct,' 'indecent conduct,' and similar terms do not include the act of a woman breast-feeding a child in a public or private location where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be. Nothing in this section may be construed to authorize an act that is an offense under a municipal ordinance that establishes an offense with elements substantially equivalent to the elements of an offense under AS 11.61.123. This section is applicable to home rule and general law municipalities.
The state of Colorado is particularly hardcore on the issue (like CA and NY). Their offical laws read:
C.R.S.25-6-302. Breastfeeding. A mother may breastfeed in any place she has a right to be.
C.R.S. 25-6-301. Legislative declaration. (1) The general assembly hereby finds and declares that: (a) The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months of an infant's life but continuing with other forms of nutrition for at least the first twelve months of an infant's life and as long thereafter as is mutually desired. (b) The American Academy of Pediatrics has continuously endorsed breastfeeding as the optimal form of nutrition for infants and as a foundation for good feeding practices. Extensive research indicates that there are diverse and compelling advantages to breastfeeding for infants, mothers, families, and society. (c) Epidemiologic research shows that breastfeeding of infants provides benefits to their general health, growth, and development and results in significant decreases in risk for numerous acute and chronic diseases. (d) Research in developed countries provides strong evidence that breastfeeding decreases the incidence and severity of diarrhea, lower respiratory infection, otitis media, and urinary tract infection. (e) Research studies have also shown that human milk and breastfeeding have possible protective effects against the development of a number of chronic diseases, including allergic diseases and some chronic digestive diseases. In addition, human milk and breastfeeding may prevent obesity. (f) In addition, breastfeeding has been related to the possible enhancement of cognitive development. (g) Breastfeeding has been shown to have numerous health benefits for mothers, including an earlier return to prepregnant weight, delayed resumption of ovulation with increased child spacing, improved bone remineralization postpartum with reduction in hip fractures in the postmenopausal period, and reduced risk of ovarian cancer and premenopausal breast cancer, as well as increased levels of oxytocin, resulting in less postpartum bleeding and more rapid uterine involution. (h) In addition to individual health benefits, breastfeeding results in substantial benefits to society, including reduced health care costs, reduced environmental damage, reduced governmental spending on the women, infants, and children supplementary feeding programs, and reduced employee absenteeism for care attributable to infant illness. (i) Breastfeeding is a basic and important act of nurturing that should be encouraged in the interests of maternal and infant health. (2) The general assembly further declares that the purpose of this part 3 is for the state of Colorado to become involved in the national movement to recognize the medical importance of breastfeeding, within the scope of complete pediatric care, and to encourage removal of societal boundaries placed on breastfeeding in public.
In Connecticut you can get arrested an fined for interfering with a woman breastfeeding. Employers also are required by law to allow employees to breastfeed on the job (but not in a toilet stall):
Conn. Gen. Stat. § 46a-64, and § 53-34b Section 46a-64 provides: (Formerly Sec. 53-35). Discriminatory public accommodations practices prohibited. § 53-34b. Deprivation of the right to breast-feed one's child.
Conn. Gen. Stat. § 31-40w (a) Any employee may, at her discretion, express breast milk or breastfeed on site at her workplace during her meal or break period.
Delaware:
31 Del. C. § 310 Breast-feeding. Florida (another particularly pro-breastfeeding state): Fla. Stat. Ann. § 383.015 The breast feeding of a baby is an important and basic act of nurture which must be encouraged in the interests of maternal and child health and family values. A mother may breast feed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether or not the nipple of the mother's breast is covered during or incidental to the breast feeding. Fla. Stat. 800.02, 800.03, 800.04 Statute language omitted. These statutes exclude breastfeeding from various sexual offenses, from the definition of an unnatural and lascivious act. Fla. Stat. § 827.071 (Child abuse statute) (g) "Sexual conduct" means ... A mother’s breastfeeding of her baby does not under any circumstances constitute "sexual conduct." Fla .Stat. §383.016, , 383.016, 383.311, and 363.318 Georgia: Ga. Code An. § 31-1-9 The breast-feeding of a baby is an important and basic act of nurture which should be encouraged in the interests of maternal and child health. A mother may breast-feed her baby in any location where the mother and baby are otherwise authorized to be. Ga. Code An. § 34-1-6 (a) As used in this Code section, the term 'employer' means any person or entity that employs one or more employees and shall include the state and its political subdivisions. Hawaii: HRS §489-21, HRS §489-22 §489-21 Discriminatory practices; breast feeding. It is a discriminatory practice to deny, or attempt to deny, the full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, and accommodations of a place of public accommodations to a woman because she is breast feeding a child. §489- 22 Private cause of action. Note that Section 489-23 states that the Hawaii civil rights commission does not have jurisdiction to enforce the law relating to breastfeeding. History: Approved by the Governor June 14, 2000. HRS § 378-2, HRS §378-10 §378 – 10.2 Breastfeeding. §378-2 Discriminatory practices made unlawful; offenses defined. In the state of Idaho, breastfeeding women are excempt from jury duty. Illinois: Section 5. Purpose. The General Assembly finds that breast milk offers better nutrition, immunity, and digestion, and may raise a baby's IQ, and that breastfeeding offers other benefits such as improved mother-baby bonding, and its encouragement has been established as a major goal of this decade by the World Health Organization and the United Nations Children's Fund. The General Assembly finds and declares that the Surgeon General of the United States recommends that babies be fed breastmilk, unless medically contraindicated, in order to attain an optimal healthy start. Section 10. Breastfeeding Location. A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding; however, a mother considering whether to breastfeed her baby in a place of worship shall comport her behavior with the norms appropriatein that place of worship. Section 15. Private right of action. A woman who has been denied the right to breastfeed by the owner or manager of a public or private location, other than a private residence or place of worship, may bring an action to enjoin future denials of the right to breastfeed. If the woman prevails in her suit, she shall be awarded reasonable attorney's fees and reasonable expenses of litigation. Section 99. Effective date. This Act takes effect upon becoming law. 720 ILCS 5/11-9, Sec. 11-9. Public indecency. (a) Any person of the age of 17 years and upwards who performs any of the following acts in a public place commits a public indecency: ... 20 ILCS 2310/2310-442 Permits the Department of Health to conduct a public campaign on breastfeeding. The Department may include the information in a brochure prepared under Section 55.64 or in a brochure that shares other information with the general public and is distributed free of charge. The information required under this Section may be distributed to the parents or legal custodians of each newborn upon discharge of the infant from a hospital or other health care facility. 20 ILCS 1305/10-25 Sec. 10-25. Women, Infants, and Children Nutrition Program. (e) The Department may include a program of lactation support services as part of the benefits and services provided for pregnant and breast feeding participants in the women, infants and children nutrition program. The program may include payment for breast pumps, breast shields, or any supply deemed essential for the successful maintenance of lactation, as well as lactation specialists who are registered nurses, licensed dietitians, or persons who have successfully completed a lactation management training program. 820 ILCS 260/1 et seq. Sec. 1. Short title. This Act may be cited as the Nursing Mothers in the Workplace Act. Section 10. Break time for nursing mothers. Section 15. Private place for nursing mothers. Indiana: Ind. Code. IC § 16-35-6-1 Notwithstanding any other law, a woman may breastfeed her child anywhere the woman has a right to be. Iowa: Iowa Code § 607A.5, 2002 607A.5 Automatic Excuse From Jury Service A person shall be excused from jury service if the person submits written documentation verifying, to the court's satisfaction, that the person is solely responsible for the daily care of a permanently disabled person living in the person's household and that the performance of juror service would cause substantial risk of injury to the health of the disabled person or that the person is the mother of a breastfed child and is responsible for the daily care of the child. However, if the person is regularly employed at a location other than the person's household, the person shall not be excused under this section. Iowa Code § 135.30A, 2002 135.30A Breastfeeding in Public Places Louisiana (My favorite wording): L.R.S. 51 § 2247.1 Section 2247.1. Breastfeeding; Discriminatory Practices Prohibited B. Right to Breastfeed. C. "Discriminatory Practice in Connection with Public Accommodations" to Include a Discriminatory Practice Against a Mother Breastfeeding her Baby. D. Breastfeeding; Discriminatory Practices Prohibited. E. Breastfeeding Not a Violation of Law. Maine: 5 M.R.S. § 4634, Right to Breast-feed The state of Maryland not only promotes breastfeeding, but they omit breastfeeding supplies from sales tax!: Md. Code §20-801. a) A mother may breast-feed her child in any public or private location in which the mother and child are authorized to be. b) A person may not restrict or limit the right of a mother to breast-feed her child. Md. Code Ann §11-211 (b) The sales and use tax does not apply to a sale of: Michigan: MCLS § 41.181, § 67.1, § 117.4i, § 117.5h, Amends various sections of the Michigan criminal code to expressly state that public nudity does not include a woman's breastfeeding of a baby whether or not the nipple or areola is exposed during or incidental to the feeding. Minnesota: Minn. Stat. § 145.894, 2002 The commissioner of health shall: (a) Develop a comprehensive state plan for the delivery of nutritional supplements to pregnant and lactating women, infants, and children; ... (c) Develop and implement a public education program promoting the provisions of sections 145.891 to 145.897, and provide for the delivery of individual and family nutrition education and counseling at project sites. The education program must include information about breastfeeding. Minn. Stat. § 181.939 181.939 Nursing Mother Minn. Stat. § 617.23 Indecent Exposure; Penalties Minn. Stat. § 145.905 145.905 Location for Breast-Feeding 2002 Minn. Laws. Ch. 269 Requests that the Minn. Supreme Court Jury Reform taskforce look at the issue of nursing mothers and jury duty. Note that a draft of the Taskforce December 2001 report recommended that judges take into account the needs of nursing. Proposed legislation to excuse nursing nursing mothers has not been put into law. Minn. Stat. § 145.894 The commissioner of health shall: (a) Develop a comprehensive state plan for the delivery of nutritional supplements to pregnant and lactating women, infants, and children; ... (c) Develop and implement a public education program promoting the provisions of sections 145.891 to 145.897, and provide for the delivery of individual and family nutrition education and counseling at project sites. The education programs must include a campaign to promote breast-feeding Montana: Mont. Code Anno., § 50-19-501 Nursing mother and infant protection. The state of Nebraska exempts nursing mothers from jury duty. Nevada (another one of my personal favorites): Nev. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 201.210, § 201.220, § 201.232 § 201.232. Breast feeding: Legislative intent; authorized in any public or private location where mother is authorized to be Nev. Rev. State. § 201.210 Nev. Rev. State. § 201.220 New Hampshire: N.H. Rev.Stat. Ann. §132:10-d ) Breastfeeding. New Mexico: N.M. Stat. Ann. § 28-20-1 sect; 28-20-1. Right to breastfeed. A mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be present North Carolina: N.C. Gen. Stat. sec. 14-190.9 "§ 14-190.9. Indecent exposure. Ohio: Sec. 3781.55. A mother is entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation wherein the mother otherwise is permitted. Oklahoma: Title 63, Section 1-234.1 (new) "The Legislature hereby declares that breast-feeding a baby constitutes a basic act of nurturing to which every baby has a right and which should be encouraged in the interests of maternal and child health. In furtherance of this right, a mother may breast-feed her baby in any location where the mother is otherwise authorized to be. Breast-feeding shall not constitute a violation of any provision of Title 21 of the Oklahoma Statutes." "C. Mothers who are breast-feeding a baby, upon their request, shall be exempt from service as jurors." Oregon: ORS § 109.001 A woman may breastfeed her child in a public place. ORS § 10.050 ... (4) a Judge of the Court or Clerk of Court shall excuse a woman from acting as a juror upon the request of the woman if the woman is breastfeeding a child. A request for excuse from jury service under this subsection must be made in writing. The state of Pennsylvania has no laws about breastfeeding. However, the city of Philidelphia does: City Ordinance 1996 Amends Section 9-1105 of the Fair Practices Code entitled "Unlawful Public Accommodations Practice" to prohibit a breastfeeding mother from or segregate a breastfeeding mother within any public accommodation where she would otherwise be authorized to be irrespective of whether or not the nipple of the mother's breast is covered during or incidental to breastfeeding. Rhode Island: R.I. Gen. Laws § 11-45-1 South Dakota exempts breastfeeding in public from their indecent exposure statutes Tennessee requires employers to offer non-bathroom places for nursing women to breastfeed or pump their milk. Texas: Tex. Health & Safety Code § 165.001 et seq. Chapter 165. Breast-Feeding Sec. 165.002. Right to Breast-Feed Utah: 17-15-25. Right to Breast Feed. 76-9-702. Lewdness -- Gross lewdness. Virginia: Va. Code Ann. §2.2-1147.1, 2002 Right to breast-feed Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast-feed her child at any location where that woman would otherwise be allowed on property that is owned, leased or controlled by the Commonwealth as defined in § 2.2-1147. Washington: RCW 9A.88.010 (1) A person is guilty of indecent exposure if he or she intentionally makes any open and obscene exposure of his or her person or the person of another knowing that such conduct is likely to cause reasonable affront or alarm. The act of breastfeeding or expressing breast milk is not indecent exposure Wisconsin: Wis. Stat. § 944.17, § 944.20, § 948.10 Amends and creates sections 948.10, 944.17 (3), 944.20 (2) and 948.10 (2) of the statutes to state that the criminal statutes do not apply to a mother's breast-feeding of her child. Any state not mentioned here has no breastfeeding legislation as of yet. However, I'd like to point out that there is not one single state that takes the stance that breastfeeding is not appropriate. In fact, the opinion of the majority of the states in this country is that breastfeeding is good for family values. Take the hint from those you elected to protect your rights. We do have the right to breastfeed in most places, and soon we will have the right to breastfeed anywhere. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:15 pm PDT
Quote From: engineer I am so tired of people whining about their kids! If you can't take control of kids, DON'T HAVE THEM! No one forced you to have them, and YOU decided to keep them after they were born. Saying "I can't keep constant control of my three kids" is unacceptable. They are YOUR kids. Not mine, not the person sitting next to you, not the other patrons in a restaurant. YOUR kids. If you can't control them when you go out, either hire a sitter or stay at home. When you choose to be a parent, you are to take responsibility for that choice. And how dare anyone says that us childless adults don't understand. How did you feel before you had kids? Or does having children cause memory loss? I have to wonder that sometimes. Being a parent is a CHOICE. If you get pregnant by accident or God forbid, by a horrible crime, and you choose to keep the baby, that is the CHOICE you have made. And when making choices people have to accept the responsibilities and consequences of those actions. Just like the woman who got pregnant at 17. It is up to her NOT to have sex. Not the school's to pass out condoms. I'm not having sex. You know why? I don't want to risk getting pregnant! Birth control or condoms are not 100%. Abstinence is. My boyfriend and I know the consequences. And we certainly don't want children at this time! I say, use your head instead of your hormones! And as far as breastfeeing, I believe that is a special bonding time between mother and child, not between mother, child, and everyone else around, so please to somewhere not so public (like a bathroom stall with a towel if necessary) or pump your breast milk at home and bring it in a bottle. I have friends who have children, and they agree with my take on this subject. They even saw the show before I did and taped it for me so I could see it! Good for you for waiting till you are married to have sex, but I have news for you sometimes even after you are married you have a baby before you are ready, and I don't believe its a choice to just get rid of it cause YOU are inconvenienced. However you really can't say how you would raise kids or be the perfect parent till you have one of your own it is not the same babysitting them. You have a Lot to learn about judging someone till you have walked in their shoes and coming from someone who has learned allot of hard lessons about judging i feel sorry for you. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:17 pm PDT
Quote From: coldfeat Breast feeding in public? I have no problem with it as long as she doesn't call a lot of attention to herself, which I personally have NEVER seen happen. If baby's hungry, feed him/her!
Condoms in schools? it's giving tacit permission to kids. we have NO PROBLEM saying "SAY NO TO DRUGS" , "DON'T SMOKE", "DON'T DRINK!" Why can't we tell our kids "SAY NO TO SEX"?? the argument "they're going to do it anyway" is not a valid one. One can also say, "they're going to smoke anyway, do drugs anyway, or they're going to drink alcohol anyway, so let's give them "safe" light cigarettes, clean marijuana, etc., in school." Give me a break! why is it ok for our teens to have sex? oh wait... the abortion industry has to thrive. they would lose money if our kids didn't have sex. condoms? they fail. a lot. If you're 13 year old daughter gets pregnant and what do you do? (I would hope most would place the baby for adoption!) unfortunately, too many will abort, which is why the industry is a multi billion dollar a year business. We are lying to our kids and permitting them to make mistakes that will affect them the rest of their lives. Why can't we tell them the truth instead of sanitizing it and making it a "decision" for them? We teach them about the bad effects of drugs, but don't tell them "if you should decide to use drugs, especially IV drugs, use a sterile needle." It's time to be parents and "just say no" to schools handing out condoms and get involved with your school's sex ed program.
I'll say something to a parent if the kid is acting up and the parent is doing nothing. and if a parent still does nothing, I have no qualms about correcting a child, especially if it may be affecting my property or someone elses. maybe, just maybe, they'll get the message that society won't put up with their bad behavior. but then again, maybe I'm an optimist. I recently learned that if my 13 yr old got pregnant: I have no legal right to make a decision regarding the pregnancy. She becomes a "consequential adult". I can't make her give the child up for adoption, I can't her to have an abortion, yet I can't afford to raise another child, and she is too young to emancipate. These mistakes aren't limited to affecting the rest of their lives....they affect ours too. I can only hope is to educate her and hope to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. |
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October 8, 2005, 1:18 pm PDT
Quote From: mommakrick In response to the outrage about nursing in public I have one general question, would you rather hear my hungry baby screaming just so you don't have to see me breastfeeding? I highly doubt it, then I would be the bad momma that let's her child scream disturbing those around her. I have bf'd in public and I would do it again, when you are out and you are hungry you grab a quick bite from a food joint, when my baby is hungry, he does not have that privilage, bf'ing is his fast food joint.
I do not bf'd for you to find it appealing or attractive, I bf'd to nourish my child and IMHO, his needs come before yours.
I could also ask what the heck you are doing staring at my breasts in the first place since I am always discreet but no doubt you'd all have some witty reply like " I can't help but not notice" well I couldn't help but notice your ass crack hanging out of your pants, which by the way I find offensive but I'm not about to walk up to you and ask you to put it away.
Breastfeeding mothers should be encouraged and supported. They are giving their children the absolute best. Shame on anyone who makes them feel guilty about it. It's bad enough we have to hide it as it is. I do not bf'd for you to find it appealing or attractive, I bf'd to nourish my child and IMHO, his needs come before yours.
Why? What makes you and your child more important than any other human being on this earth? You want people to show you some respect, but you should not have to ever show any yourself because you have a baby? That does not give you superiority over anybody else. I will also ask you to look up entitlement. If you want respect you earn it, you don't demand it. I hope you teach your child that other people in the world have feeling too. Compromises can be reached so everyone can be happy. Good Luck. |
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