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Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:40:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil and his guests strike up heated conversations as they debate the latest hot topics. Should women give up their right to breastfeed their babies in public so other people don't feel uncomfortable? Will passing out condoms in schools prevent unwanted pregnancies or just send the message to kids that it's OK to have sex? And, is it acceptable for others to discipline your kids if they see them acting out in public, or should they just mind their own business? Dr. Phil weighs in on these controversial subjects. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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appsas
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October 9, 2005, 12:28 pm PDT

not that easy

Quote From: slynn0514

OK THIS COMMING FROM SOMEONE WITH NO CHILDREN.... THIS WOULD BE WHAT I WAS SCREAMING AT THE TV TODAY...  WHAT WOULD BE THE PROBLEM WITH USING A BREAST PUMP AND TAKING A FEW BOTTLES WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO OUT??  I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT... 
That would be the ideal situation, but some babies (mine) refuse a bottle ... absolutely will not take it ... believe me I've tried!
 
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mommyof5
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October 9, 2005, 12:31 pm PDT

donate it instead

Quote From: cathyhod

AS OTHER READERS SUGGESTED, EXPRESSING YOUR MILK IS A REASONABLE OPTION AND TAKES THE FLASH OUT OF THIS DEBATE.  DISCRETION IS STILL THE BEST IN A SOCIETY WHERE THERE ARE MANY NEEDS, NOT JUST YOURS OR YOUR BABIES.  WHY ARE THE REASONABLE SUGGESTIONS OVERLOOKED BY B/F MOMS??  JUST CURIOUS

I have 5 kids and I don't want them to see bottlefeeding. I have spent a lot of time breastfeeding them only to be undermined by our bottlfeeding culture that pushes bottlfeeding. It is heart wrenching to me to see them play with their dolls by bottlefeeding them. I don't allow baby bottles in the house and they are still influenced by toys, tv, friends and the public.  

  

And the only time I pump is to collect milk for donation to a milk bank. Donor milk saves lives. 
 
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linzjongat
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October 9, 2005, 12:40 pm PDT

Boobaphob

Quote From: outsider1

Hmmm.  What's more disgusting.  A bottle or pacifier or a droopy, saggy, stretchmark covered breast?  There's no competition there.  It's the droopy, saggy, stretchmark covered breast that's disgusting! 

I would have to say your sick mind. The fact that you *might* be able to see a sliver of breast skin while a mother feeds her child is not disgusting. The fact that we as a country believe that it is 100 percent okay to never even try to give our children the best start possible is disgusting! For moms who want to formula feed that is fine, but I find something wrong when we prefer to see a baby being fed with fake food rather then the real stuff. Possessed or fresh veggies? we all know what is better. I don't mind seeing bottles because who knows what is in there and it is none of my business. To me that mom is taking care of her baby the best way she knows how. Seeing a mother breast feed doesn't even make me take a second glance because of the same reason. My JOB is to love and care for my children in the best way I know how and I will not let the insecurities of the few (check the survey) influence my decision!
 
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suzeeque9
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October 9, 2005, 12:41 pm PDT

disciplining others children

I was outraged at the woman with three children on this show.  she seemed to think that her kids have the right to misbehave and disturb other people wherever they go.  unfortunaltely there are many lazy parents in the world just like her and that is why it is sometimes unenjoyable to go to dinner, a movie, shopping etc.  i have no children, and my husband and i both work full time plus , and i feel we have a right to be able to enjoy a nice dinner out once in while, and it gripes me to NO END to go out and spend our HARD earned money on something that should be pleasant, only to be ruined by someones children that don't know how to behave!!!!  we don't have the right to stand up and say something, but yet parents like her have the right to allow their children to misbehave and affect other peoples lives.....  why is that ok???? 
 
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appsas
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October 9, 2005, 12:43 pm PDT

I'm so confused

Quote From: iluvdrphil

I totally agree with you! Have some consideration for the people around you trying to eat.
Out of curiosity, why are you so focussed on the people around you at a restaurant? How about focussing on ther person you're with and what's going on at your own table?  It's not like a nursing mother has plopped herself in your lap.  I mean how close could a woman breastfeeding her child actually be to be so offensive to you?  I never even notice other people at a restaurant.  Seriously, why in the world are women so unsupportive of each other?  I think women should be as discreet as possible (and the majority are), but with all the GARBAGE we are bombarded with on a daily basis, how is breastfeeding considered offensive? It's probably the most innocent, loving and nurturing things we can do!!!
 
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mommyof5
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October 9, 2005, 12:44 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: heather175

I knew because my breast were engorged and yet nothing came out!!!! Do you not ware breast pads to prevent any leakage? I didn't have to because I did not have any leakage. NOTHING came out! So no I couldn't have even though I really wanted too. The point was is that you shouldn't assume to know everyone's reasons for choosing to bottle or breast feed. Again you assumed to know my reasons and were way off base. If you are able and choose to breast feed then by all means you should. It will benefit you and your child. But if you can't or choose not to breast feed then you and your child can still benefit. I held and bonded with my children during bottle feedings just as if I would have if I were breast feeding. I held them and sang to them just the same. That was a personal choice. Because I do realize that some parents make the choice to bottle feed for the wrong reasons.  

So please tell how you can say in one sentence that less then 1% of women can't breast feed end then say in another sentence that "There is probably no reason at all why you couldn't have breastfed. It's hard sometimes... but if you had really wanted to, you could have." Did it ever occur that just maybe I was part of where research has concluded that 1% figure from? 

It sounds like you didn't get any support. Sounds like you had plenty of milk but the baby wasn't latching on properly. I think it would be helpful for you to let yourself grieve over not being able to BF at that time. I know I would need to.  

  

If you want to breastfeed in the future I highly recommend La Leche League and if you need more help find an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). 

  

I think Dr Phil should do a whole show on breastfeeding and how women are undermined by our bottlefeeding culture, the formula industry (which has marketed the idea of failure and guilt) and even by family, friends and doctors. 
 
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kidshop
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October 9, 2005, 12:45 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

I have also never seen a bfing mom walk around topless and/or 'put it in someone's face'.  I certainly never did.  First of all, so few women actually bf at all past the first few weeks that I find it hard to believe all these naked breasts are flopping around offending everyone.  Second, nursing moms are not trying to be exihibitionists.  They want to feed their hungry baby and NOT, I repeat NOT attract attention.   And this right is protected in nearly every state by LAW, so there is not much to debate, really!  I think the real problem is that there is no discreet enough for people who are icked out by bfing.  It is the IDEA of a baby nursing, and not the sight of any skin.  You really have to be looking closely to see skin.  I think most people have never actually seen a nursing pair and just THINK that the breast is hanging out.  Of course, those who bf know that it is not.  Anyway since the issue is with the general public's hangups, it is  not the nursing mother's concern. It's their problem.  The only way to normalize bfing is to see it.  The more people who see it will realize it is no big deal, and maybe more babies will end up breastfed.  That is good for everyone.
 
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f3268a
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October 9, 2005, 12:47 pm PDT

breastfeeding in public

No woman should ever take her child into a public restroom to breastfeed.  There are airborne germs that no feeding child should be subjected to.  However, I do think, it is best for all breastfeeding women to cover themselves with a light blanket before they unviel their breast.  It is just uncalled for to think that everyone in society needs to watch a woman bare her breast for any reason.
 
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mommyof5
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October 9, 2005, 12:48 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: cathyhod

I APPRECIATED YOUR LETTER EXPLAINING ABOUT PUMPING.  BECAUSE I COULDN'T NURSE I DIDN'T KNOW ALL OF THE SITUATIONS THAT CAN COME UP.  I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD JUST BE MORE PRIVATE ABOUT BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC.  SOUNDS LIKE YOU MAKE EVERY ATTEMPT AND THAT IS ADMIRABLE.  THE PAST DAYS HAVE BEEN INTERESTING AND I HAVE EVEN CHANGED MY VIEWS SOMEWHAT.  MY FIRST POST CLAIMED I DIDN'T AGREE WITH NURSING IN PUBLIC BUT I THINK NOW IT WOULD SEEM MORE COMFORTABLE TO ME AFTER READING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS INVOLVED IN THE PROCESS.  KEY FOR ME WOULD BE AT LEAST SEEING THAT A MOM IS TRYING TO BE DISCREET EVEN IF THE ATTEMPT ISN'T SUCCESSFUL SINCE SOME BABIES DON'T LIKE TO BE COVERED.  MY TURNOFF WAS THE B/F MOM ON THE SHOW THAT PRETTY MUCH LEFT THE VIEWERS THINKING SHE DIDN'T GIVE A DARN WHAT ANYONE SAW OR THOUGHT OR FELT.  LIKE WE NEED MORE OF THAT ATTITUDE IN THIS WORLD.  SEVERAL POSTS WERE VERY EDUCATING FOR ME AND I APPRECIATE IT.  ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN!!
I want to thank you for your honesty. It brings tears to my eyes to read that you have been able to grow and shift your opinion. I too can understand the issue about being discreet, but I think that discretion is a subjective term and therefore difficult to come to an agreement on. Also, there are some sad stories here from women here who were "unable' to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a learned skill, if we don't see it being done it is much, much harder to be succesful at.
 
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linzjongat
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October 9, 2005, 12:49 pm PDT

10/07 The Latest Debates

Quote From: cathyhod

I APPRECIATED YOUR LETTER EXPLAINING ABOUT PUMPING.  BECAUSE I COULDN'T NURSE I DIDN'T KNOW ALL OF THE SITUATIONS THAT CAN COME UP.  I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD JUST BE MORE PRIVATE ABOUT BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC.  SOUNDS LIKE YOU MAKE EVERY ATTEMPT AND THAT IS ADMIRABLE.  THE PAST DAYS HAVE BEEN INTERESTING AND I HAVE EVEN CHANGED MY VIEWS SOMEWHAT.  MY FIRST POST CLAIMED I DIDN'T AGREE WITH NURSING IN PUBLIC BUT I THINK NOW IT WOULD SEEM MORE COMFORTABLE TO ME AFTER READING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS INVOLVED IN THE PROCESS.  KEY FOR ME WOULD BE AT LEAST SEEING THAT A MOM IS TRYING TO BE DISCREET EVEN IF THE ATTEMPT ISN'T SUCCESSFUL SINCE SOME BABIES DON'T LIKE TO BE COVERED.  MY TURNOFF WAS THE B/F MOM ON THE SHOW THAT PRETTY MUCH LEFT THE VIEWERS THINKING SHE DIDN'T GIVE A DARN WHAT ANYONE SAW OR THOUGHT OR FELT.  LIKE WE NEED MORE OF THAT ATTITUDE IN THIS WORLD.  SEVERAL POSTS WERE VERY EDUCATING FOR ME AND I APPRECIATE IT.  ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN!!

For me that "I don't care" opinion only came after I was no longer able to keep a cover on my child. In truth I guess it wasn't that I didn't care, but that I couldn't help my situation. I never had any trouble feeding discretely without a cover and my husband would sit with me and said he never saw anything either. I thank you for being so honest. I think alot of the problems people have with breastfeeding has to do with lack of education on the subject and biases passes down from parents or peers. The more people know the better the world will be.  
 
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