Topic : 10/07 The Latest Debates

1. Have you ever seen someone breastfeed non-discreetly in public? No. You probably haven't. 

2. Tanktops show more skin than breastfeeding women. How about addressing that issue?  

3. Tanktops don't have the nutritional benifits of breastfeeding and they're less discreet. 

4. People must be selfish for wearing them in August because "it feels good" and because "it's what they want to do". 

5. Next time I go out, I'll be sure to wear my burqua just for you! 

It advocates breastfeeding because breastfeeding was the only option. Read anywhere in the Bible where the birth of a new baby is mentioned, and it is always accompanied by "and he/she suckled". Even Jesus himself suckled. And I'm sure the Virgin Mary didn't let him suckle in a bathroom. It also elludes at times to extended nursing (which was common in that time period to ages 5-7 as a result of poor water quality).  

And for the record, I'm not Christian. I'm Unitarian Universalist. I read the Bible for fun. 

1) Making a comparisson between a lactating breast feeding a child and a vulva is completely unfounded. A vulva (last time I checked) does not provide nutrition for infants in humans or any other mammal. However, a breast does. 

2) Just because a part of the body is responsible for secreation of some kind (menses, semen, phlem, mucus, urine, etc) does not make it similar to lactation. Lactation is food, nothing else secreted by the human body is food. Not only is milk food, but it's the best food, and the best feeding option. 

3) What does "covering up" mean? See, it's all about the semantics to me. If you make a public statement saying women need to "cover up" while nursing, does this mean that you don't want to see BOTH breasts, or does it mean she should have a blanket over her head too? No woman breastfeeds in public while walking around topless (unless she's on a nude beach). 

4) What does morality have to do with feeding a child? I think the association of a breastfeeding woman with something sexual is vulgar and immoral. It is not I who is making a breast a sexual object, it is not I who suggested that someone flaunting their vulva in public is similar to feeding  a baby the way God intended. I think it's immoral to suggest that a nursing woman make breastfeeding uncomfortable in order to accomidate people who literally see none of her breast, but are simply uncomfortable at the very thought that an infant is suckling at her breast and she is not enjoying it as much as you think she should.  

5) Yes, breastfeeding is intimate. However, there is nothing wrong with public displays of non-sexual intimacy. There is nothing vulgar or immoral about a woman peacefully sitting on a bench with a baby in her arms looking into that loving, dependant childs eyes as it nurses. She's not asking for you to put her on display because she's not putting herself on display- she's simply feeding her child in the normal way to feed her child. 

6) If you want to talk about immoral displays of ones body, look around at popular advertisements. Look at billboards of bra-ads, car ads, beer ads, strip club ads that litter our highways. Look at the way pre-adolescent girls think they're supposed to look thanks to people like Britney Spears, look at the over-sexualization of women AND children in our society as a result... and then think about that woman, peacefully nursing her child on a bench. Which is more offensive to you? If the answer is the nursing woman, and not the Budweiser billboard, you have your priorities seriously messed up. 

First of all, the word is "LACTATION" not "LACTAIDE" (which ironically is a milk substitude sold in grocery stores). And for the record, I'm a certified doula in school for my degree as a nurse midwife. I also (in my spare time) hold a Masters degree in early childhood education (birth-grade 6). Because of my background, I'm more than very well informed when it comes to breastfeeding. 

Secondly, I didn't beat anyone up. I stated the facts of the situation, all of which are true. If "the well is dry" or a mother genuinely can not produce enough milk for her child, there are more than enough options to get her back on track. These include over the counter solutions such as oatmean, fenugreek, blessed thissle and mothers milk tea (which mostly contains fenugreek). If those do not work, there is prescription medication such as Relegan which boosts milk production.  

However, less than 1% of women worldwide genuinely have milk production issues. Everyone else has simply been given poor advice by doctors (who are NOT lactation consultants) or well-meaning family and friends. The people with ill-information then go out and claim that they "couldn't" breastfeed successfully though they "tried", when in reality- they probably could have if they had been better informed. 

Also, many women make the statement that if they didn't suppliment, their child would have starved to death- again, most times this statement is completely untrue. When an infant is malnourished, their temples sink in along with their eyes and the soft spots on the tops of their heads. They don't cry because they're lethargic. They stop producing wet and dirty diapers. This is how you know your kid idn't getting enough.  

Bottle-supplimentation does not help with supply issues. Nursing does. Breastfeeding works on a supply and demand system, the more a baby suckles, the more a mother makes to fufill those changing needs. Every time a mother suppliments with formula, it's one feeding that her body is unaware of and due to that, her milk production is decreased in comparisson to the child's need.  

If a mother had a medical issue which made adequate milk production impossible in spite of medication, there are still options which include SNS (supplimental nursing systems) in which case a tube is attached to the breast and the child breastfeeds normally. The tube is atached to a bag which contains formula or expressed breastmilk. Doing this allows a woman's supply to build while her child is not becomming dehydrated as a result. 

I'm not judging anyone. I'm passing on correct information in hopes that someone will read it, remember it and pass it on when someone needs it. 

Dr. Phil,

I am the mother of a 3-month-old breastfed baby boy, and I am disappointed at the quality of argument put forth on the subject of breastfeeding in public.  I also think this is a subject that could use more time and attention, and it would be nice to hear the opinion of your wife, Robin.

Dr. Phil, I am very proud of myself for following through with breastfeeding my son, because I heard so many horror stories from women who gave up after a few weeks.  I had read books about the benefits of breastfeeding for both mothers and babies and was determined to do the best I could for my child.  The support from friends, family, and most of all, my husband, was what has enabled me to be successful.

This is why I am upset about the lack of valid arguments from both parties:

The woman who advocated breastfeeding in public did not support her reason why it should be all right.  Her major point was that she had the right to do it, so if anyone had a problem with it, they should get over it.  While I agree with her, can anyone take you seriously if that is your main argument and attitude?

 The woman who took the side against breastfeeding in public had some of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard.  Ranking highest were that "some people don't find it as attractive as the mothers do", "You have to take your shirt off to do it", and that "it is the same as someone exposing their behind in public".  She never even answered the main question that you asked two or three times:  "What don't you like about it?”  All she kept saying was that it is not attractive to some people.  Those arguments were not even worth that short time spent on the subject.

I have always been accused of being a "prude" or "uptight", and that is what makes my letter unique.  The closest I have been to breastfeeding in has been on an airplane while my husband held a blanket over me.  Whenever I see a mother nursing in public, I have been so envious because I wish that I could be confident in my ability to be discreet and modest.  Every two to three hours I am constantly looking for a bathroom, trying to get to the car, or interrupting a meal to nurse my son, all because I don't want someone to be offended.

Recently, while shopping with my brother and my mother, there was no bathroom available, so I went to the car.  I was still feeding my son when my brother came back and started to carry on a conversation.  Only when my mother told him that I was nursing did my brother become uncomfortable simply because it was his sister's breast that was involved!  He had no clue what I was doing.

It was then that I realized that I could be discreet and if someone has a problem with the way I have chosen to feed my son, turning the other way is much easier than me, with my son and diaper bag in tow, going to the bathroom.  I'd like to see some of those people sit up straight on a toilet with no lid holding a 15 lb. baby up to their chest for 20 minutes, and then do that every two hours.  I believe that might change their tune.

Dr. Phil, please consider doing a more in depth piece on this subject and pick some people who can take a stand for their side on this issue.

Sincerely,

Robyn
Mansfield, OH

I'm angry @ all of the people who think that they have a right to tell a mother to leave a public place JUST because she's feeding her child. Mothers should NOT be forced to go into a restroom or to leave. And no matter what anyone saids, breastfeeding IS a natural thing. As the woman stated on the show, "The breast is not just a sexual object." God gave women breast TO breastfeed their children. People who dont like looking @ it, that's your opinion. And I say, just get off your ass and move. If you're in a restaurant, put your back to them, you dont necessarily have to move to another table. People make sucha  big thing about it but it's not like the woman is trying to show men her breasts. She couldnt care less about the men, because at that moment all she's thinking about is feeding her child. I think the law is stupid for charging women with "Indecent Exposure..." Basically, my argument for this is dont look if it bothers you so much.      

Now on the topic of condoms in schools.  I was in a school @ Junior High and we had a sex educationg class. They gave boys and girls little packets.. And in the girls packet was pads, tampons, other feminine things, and yes.. condoms. Of course it gives the students the idea to do it... however at least they're doing it  WITH protection. As stated on the show, children are going to do it.. at least we can provide them with some type of protection. Theres a better chance of them using the condoms whether than going to a drugstore and getting them. Someone compared giving children condoms was like giving children drugs. i dont think that is true. Giving children condoms is more like giving them nicotine patches. You arent givin them sex, you're giving them the protection to sex. That's the difference. So get it straight.  Yes people can say that I am only 18 with no kids and I dont know anything.. but because I am a kid, I know the response I would make if I was givin condoms now.         

And finally, I think that children that are bad should not be approached in any circumstances.. the parents should be talked to. Children are only as bad as they parents or guardians allow them to be. So dont blame them.