The husband on this show really needs to grow up already. What will this couple do when faced with a crisis - something that is really important and makes them rethink everything in their lives. My husband and I both had great careers when we got married, and at that time, I was the larger wage earner. My husband's philosophy was that while he didn't want to do housework and chores, that I shouldn't become my responsibility be default. We hired a cleaning service and a general contracter to take care of the tasks we didn't want to sap our time and energy. This left us with time for our children and each other.
Over the years we've had to redine our roles as we faced significant challenges. When he was laid off from work, he became the "wife" and did all the household chores - and better then I ever could. His education was in chemistry, so he takled cookbooks like chemistry experiments and made some of the best meals we've ever had at home. While he was unemployed for just a short period of time, I still remember it fondly.
We've also faced serious illness - mine. This resulted in a an unknown prognosis and complete disability. Because the onset was so sudden, we were totally unprepared and had to figure out how to function as a couple and as a family. For the first time in many years, my husband had to go to the grocery store, fix meals, clean, etc. I was unable to do anything but watch. It was a terrible struggle for all of us, but we all grew from the experience. I learned that when someone does something for you, that you say thank you and genuinelly appreciate it, no matter how it turns out. My husband got a renewed appreciation of what goes into making a home run efficiently. Our children learned how they could contribute to the family. For example, we got a credit card on our account in our daughter's name. Because she was 16, we were able to send her to the store for groceries, pharmacy items, etc. Since she hadn't had her driver's license very long - she thought it was great and loved being able to help out in that way. And yes, we guarded the credit card carefully, and she never abused it.
Now that the worst of that illness has past, we now have a more traditional family, with me home taking care of home and hearth, in a more traditional female role. I will never be able to go back to the level of employment that I had in the past, so, instead, have again, redifined myself as a wife and mom. My family has been great and has adapted to all of the changes over the years. Throughout it all, I have known that my husband loves me unequivicollly and that is all that matters. We work toghether and adapt as life changes.
I think that while the details are different, that most families will probably face challenges that force them to evaluate who they are and how they function. My concern for today's guests, and others, is that they have such narrowly defined roles with such ridgidity, that they will collapse when faced with a crisis.
(Original Airdate: 10/10/05) What makes a good wife? Is it cooking, cleaning, raising the kids and having great sex? Dr. Phil says too few couples understand what it means to be a "Mrs." His first guest, Grant, says his wife, Kelly, is in desperate need of "wife lessons" when it comes to her cooking, cleaning and the way she dresses. Kelly says trying to be the perfect wife while raising three kids is overwhelming, and she fears she'll never be good enough. See what happens when she puts her hubby to the "wife test." Will he be able to do it all? Then, Diana says a good wife must serve her man instead of trying to balance a career and a family. Plus, a woman who thinks "wife" is a four-letter word! Join the discussion.
