Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

I have read some of the replies but don't have time to read all 140+. I can see where the husband on the show has some good points (she does have a lot of clutter she needs to get rid of & things could be more organized) BUT he was going about it the wrong way. How about he picks a day & asks her to help HIM make the kitchen more effecient for BOTH of them. Then he can get in there & help her out occasionally. I also would like to suggest a very helpful website: www.flylady.org. Kathy

The meal planner works wonders for all people, staying home or not.   

  

Also, if the house is an issue: I find getting the major cleaning done once a week allows me to just maintain it for the rest of the week. 

  

Stuff like that? 

 

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with "wanting" children for if one doesn't want them and end up pregnant, then what usually happens, in this day and age, they will abort the innocent child or have the child and mistreat the,. so yes, I think the first step to having children is to want them, that is not being selfish. and yes, parenthood is about others, the children. but again if you don't want them then the child will suffer.

My children interact with both their parents, very close to mommy and daddy. My children are social and independent and my daughter is already ahead of her preschool class, never been a daycare setting. neither of my children have a probelm going to a sitter on accasion. My oldest was colorong at 11 months, gluing and cutting before the age of 2, colrong in the lines by the age of 3, dressing herself at age 2, writing letters, and her name by 2 1/2, and now reading and doing basic math at age 4 1/2. it is becasue of the interaction of her parents, not becasue of being in daycare all day. I personally have worked in daycares and not all children benefit from it, just like in our school systems, not all children get theri needs met, therefore it is best for some paretns to be home. If parents feel the need to work then why should they feel guilty. My children love having me home andhave absolutely no problem when I leave and leave them with their daddy or a sitter wwhich is not often. and who says that stay at home moms spend more time on chores then they do spending time with theri kids, that is not true, maybe for some, but not all, and I know working moms who put theri children in front of the tv after picking them up from daycare while they do other things, I believe there are good paretns on both side of the issue and again it comes down to the priorities and atmosphere of the home. My husband also helps in planning activities and all, stay at home mom's don't have to do it, but those who do, choose to or they have a selfish husband. again, kudos to all the stay at home moms even if the statistics show that working mom's have better kids, We all need to follow our parenting instincts and becasue I know our life styles, I will continue to do do waht I am doing because it is the right thing to do.

again, kudos to all the stay at home moms even if the statistics show that working mom's have better kids, We all need to follow our parenting instincts and becasue I know our life styles, I will continue to do do waht I am doing because it is the right thing to do. 

 

You know, it's funny....people can find statistics to support just about anything.  And the fact is, studies and statistics show trends, not absolutes.  And what on earth is the definition of "better", anyway?   The fact is, kids need unconditional love, discipline and limits, structure in their day, acceptance of who they are, quality time, involvement of mothers and fathers, and safe care when the parents are away, whether it's for an hour to run errands, date night for parents, or a work day for mom.   Whether the roles of the moms and dads are traditional or unconventional, THAT's what it comes down to.    

I agree and my children are receiving everything they need and are reaping great results. I am not into statistics, therefore I have absolutely no idea what any of the results are, I basically rely on my own system of parenting and my own belief system, I do believe that good parents will do what is right for their children. Parenting is a blessing and a gift and for me personally, I take that really serious and for me to be the paretn that I desire to be, I believe I need to be home with my children, thankfully I am not the type of person to stress out easily and even on a rare day when I don't feel up to doing any thing, I have a supportive husband and that certainly helps. :)

I stay at home with my son, who is 19 months old.  I missed the show, but saw the clip on the website.     

  

The feminist movement?  Isn't that overwith?  Aren't we already moved?  I mean, when we studied this in school, it was about the past.  Women are about 50-50 with men, I think.  My mom works and is a mom.  I stay home with our son.  It's each to her self. 

  

I don't know if me and my mom are making the world a better place.  Any one can do that if they want.  Men, women, stay-at-homes, those who work.  My best friend is a working mom, and we team up.  I help watch her baby, and she helps me with stuff, too. 

my husband does the ironing LOL. I personally do not stress over the chores of the home. but I do think balancing/managing our time is what we need to learn to do and by doing this, we need to prioritize from imporance down to unimporance. I do at least one load of laundry a day, my dishes usually get done in the evenings. I always have time for my family, they are top priority. when they are settled down watching a movie, playing in their playroom, with daddy, sleeping, whatever,I will do other things around the house. usually every one pitches in with dinner or we go out, grocery shopping is done either early morning or Saturday depending on hubbys schedule. I never spend full price for anything and I use the lay a way plan or pay cash, very rarely use a credit card. Every one in the home is learning to clean up after them selves, clean out the tub when you are done, pick up towels and put them where they belong, put your own clothes away, you make a mess, you clean it! we all pitch in and help with the household chores once a week. I freeze all left overs which hubby usually takes to work. I think whether both husband and wife works or not, if we don't have good mangement skills then it will be hard and stressful to keep focused on our homes and families. There are certainly times when I don't feel well and I feel as if I have failed for the day, but I think if we allow those times and don't get so down on our selves, we will have more of a positive attitude and outlook on life, and everyone in the household will definetly be happier.Sometimes it doesn't hurt to let a task go and go do something fun, the task isn't going anywhere so don't hesitate to take a break if needed.

Where was I?  My husbaand tried to get me hooked on a new sitcom.  Um...yes, helpful tips like that. 

  

I basically clean all the time.  Clean, cook, shop...it never ends.  One major cleaning day.  I don't think I could clean this whole house in one day.  It's pretty big.  We got a deal on it.  Now I love it & so does he, but he works long hours & is spoiled, so he doesn't think too much about how much work it takes to have a big home like this.  And all I do is work around here.  And I take some temp jobs.  When I go to get ready to interview or work, I have inconvenient setups I run into all over.  We are too busy to tear it down & organize it right.  I try, but then his relatives come to stay again or another animal gets sick & all my time goes to something like that... 

Oh, my.  No, I wouldn't abort or mistreat it.  I'm not going to say abortion isn't a good choice for some people in some situations.  It's again one of those things that others can't decide for someone else.  But not for me.   

  

No, I'm not saying wanting them is selfish.  I was thinking if the first thing you think of is, "I want---" that sounded not so wonderful to my ears for some reason.  It's a matter of wanting them when I see a cute baby on an instinct level.  And then when you reason out what is best for the child and all the factors (use your head), there are too many indicators that it's not such a good idea for the child in my case.   

  

If we got pregnant, we'd do a great job.  But I don't see myself adopting or doing foster care (as my MIL suggested).  I'm more of a "my baby or no baby" kind of person.  And my husband just looks at the numbers, and says, "No."  I can't blame him.  It's very expensive. 

  

I think it's possible to love babies and think they're cute & still decide to start a baby later in life isn't really best for a child I would have.  It's hard to explain -- just a lot of factors involved.