Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

First it doesn't matter what kind of job a woman is working if she can have her husband walk out without warning & she not miss a step I think that's pretty cold or says you don't care for your spouse anyway.  I can assure you I AM 44 & at home & it wouldn't be money that I'd be concerned with if hubby walked out.   

With that said for someone who feels this woman was being preachy you're pretty insulting & judgemental too!  Exactly what is wrong with people who work manual labor jobs?   I came from a blue collar family.  Do you know how many people on these boards may do those kinds of jobs that you're insulting?  She may sound preachy but you sound like a snob! 

I just wanted to say that I liked today's show...it touched me in a couple different ways. I agree with both sides. First of all, I believe that we should honor our husbands and they should honor us back. That is one things God tells us we should do. I am not the type of person to "submit" to my husband, I am much to stubborn for that, but I believe that if both people are where they should be in their marriage then it should fall into place...not that it doesn't take work, b/c it does. I have been married for 2 1/2 years. Everyone told us that the first 2 years would be the worst. We have both found the first 2 years to be pretty easy..A couple of things I could do better is cooking and cleaning. We have a 3 month old daughter and I work weekend nights. My husband would prefer me not to work, but I feel we could get out of debt faster if I do. I chose weekend nights so my husband could watch our daughter and I wouldn't have to send her to daycare. I agree partly with the lady who wants to do everything for her husband..I agree that we should do our best to make him happy, b/c if we don't he might look elsewhere for what he wants. I also think that it should be of our own free will to do those things and to not be forced to do it! I believe if we are stay at home moms and our husbands are the ones working, then we should do the majority of household stuff...but if we both work full time jobs, it should be split down the middle. Watching this show makes me want to keep my house cleaner and try to have dinner on the table more often. My husband never complains when he comes home and not much is done to the house b/c our daughter had a bad day. That makes me want to do better the next day!  Thanks Dr Phil 

This is one topic that I don't think there is a single right answer, I think each couple needs to figure out what works for them.  We have always based our division of labor on what works:  I am currently a full-time graduate student, so I have very little free time.  Hubby *only* works 40 hours a week and has evenings and weekends free; I study or work on my teaching assistant duites all day, evening, and weekend, with only short study breaks for browsing the Internet ;)  (Actually today is our fall break, yay!)  During the school year, since hubby has the most free time he does most of the housework -- he cooks dinner every night and does dishes, and occasionally cleans other things when I need him to.  I do the weekly chores like laundry since they are easier to fit into my schedule.  However, during school breaks when I have the most free time, I am the one cooking dinner each night and doing most of the cleaning!  This works for us and makes us happy, so we do it. 

We've already discussed how after I graduate, we'll divide up the work more evenly since we'll both be working about the same number of hours a week.  Maybe we'll alternate who cooks and does dishes, or cook together, or something. 

However I am still torn about what do when we have kids.  I would love to be a stay-at-home mom (like my own mom), but I will very likely be making more money than hubby so I don't know how easily we could afford it.  I've always been hesitant to let someone else help raise my future kids (daycare, babysitters, etc), but yet hubby's mom worked full time and he went to daycare and he turned out great! ;)  I also don't want to be a housewife for the rest of my life, but my chosen field (Computer Science) is very difficult to re-enter after taking a few years off, because everything I know will be outdated!  I do know hubby really wants to help with the house and kids regardless of whether I stay at home or not, he's mentioned that several times, so I'm sure we will be able to figure out something that works, though I'll admit it may take some trial and error! 

But I know that every couple is different.  As long as both people are happy with the relationship, and the kids are happy and healthy as well, then it doesn't matter to me who does the chores, who makes the money, whether the wife wears makeup and heels or sweatpants .... just do whatever works for you! 

By the way, we do base our marriage on our relgious beliefs, but we haven't found anything in the Bible that says the wife must stay home and do housework wearing makeup and heels ;)