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Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

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Created on : Friday, October 07, 2005, 03:34:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 10/10/05) What makes a good wife? Is it cooking, cleaning, raising the kids and having great sex? Dr. Phil says too few couples understand what it means to be a "Mrs." His first guest, Grant, says his wife, Kelly, is in desperate need of "wife lessons" when it comes to her cooking, cleaning and the way she dresses. Kelly says trying to be the perfect wife while raising three kids is overwhelming, and she fears she'll never be good enough. See what happens when she puts her hubby to the "wife test." Will he be able to do it all? Then, Diana says a good wife must serve her man instead of trying to balance a career and a family. Plus, a woman who thinks "wife" is a four-letter word! Join the discussion.

 

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October 8, 2005, 10:03 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: mlrocz

I have helped my husband at work B4 when it was allowed.

I'm in school you dolt and taking care of my child when my husband is working. Face it, life with a partner is about give and take. You can't just work outside of the home and expect to do zip for your spouse (goes either way)

What does child support have to do with keeping kids from their father? Child support was instituted so that mothers or fathers could run the household financially as if the parental unit were still in tact.

Sounds like you have a problem with women period. I suggest you wear the dress and get some nice pumps to wear the dress out on the town in.

Maybe Bill J needs to soften up the edges a little bit, but I have to say this, and I'm not a dolt.  What are your kids doing while you're in school?  I think once you make the decision to have kids, you need (or a parent needs) to be home with them and continue your schooling when they're grown.  As far as child support is concerned, I think what he was trying to say is that you should do whatever you can to keep your marriages intact as to not have the need for child support.  Yes, I have traditional views, and so far it's worked out pretty great! 

 

 

 
October 8, 2005, 10:04 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: jettav

AJust want to make clear that though I am a stay at home mom I AM an equal partner to my husband and I thank God that I have a husabnd who feels the same way. I may be home doing all the household chores and taking care of our children and doing the grocery shopping and whatever else and I may not be getting paid with money but I am still an equal partner to my husband. I do know some working mom's who are lousy at house keeping and taking care of their children, does that still make them an equal partner to their husbands. Whatever the case, working or stay at home moms, it doesn't matter, we are equal to our spouse as long as each one is pulling theri weight and doing their parts in maintaing the home and the family which includes giving a helping hand at times......

I often refer to things I have to do at night (like putting kids to bed, baths, etc) as the night shift.  My husband works a lot of hours, but on the nights he's home, he lends a hand with whatever I need him to.  It's not that we have to do it all by  ourselves, but ultimately the job is ours. 

  

I can't imagine taking a job outside of the home and telling my co-workers, "I'm gonna do half of my job, but then I want you to do your job and the rest of mine".  I'd get fired. 

  

Diana 

 

 
October 8, 2005, 10:13 pm CDT

I am sorry, I was unclear

Quote From: jettav

AJust want to make clear that though I am a stay at home mom I AM an equal partner to my husband and I thank God that I have a husabnd who feels the same way. I may be home doing all the household chores and taking care of our children and doing the grocery shopping and whatever else and I may not be getting paid with money but I am still an equal partner to my husband. I do know some working mom's who are lousy at house keeping and taking care of their children, does that still make them an equal partner to their husbands. Whatever the case, working or stay at home moms, it doesn't matter, we are equal to our spouse as long as each one is pulling theri weight and doing their parts in maintaing the home and the family which includes giving a helping hand at times......
Yes, I apologize. I was unclear in my posting. Of course you are equal partners with your husband. I was referring to just the "go to work - get paid by somebody else" part of it. Believe me, I know that taking care of the house and children is more than a full time job. But still, he has his job. You have yours. If you both are working outside of the house, it would be the same.  I just meant that I don't feel that a working mother should be expected to take on the "Stay at home mom duties" and work full time.  
 
October 8, 2005, 10:24 pm CDT

To Phyllis

Quote From: phills43

I agree with you on your comments.  I too a stay at home mom.  I do things out of goodness of my heart to make this household a comfortable home.  I respect my husband and he respect me.  But if a woman wants to work outside of her home that is up to the individual. If it's ok with the husband. 

It's hard now days for the husband to make the living for the household no matter how much income they make.  Unless your a millionare lol. 

 The lord direct us in his directions if he doesn't want you to work then don't work if he wants you to work then help make the living. It's up to him not us. 

Phyllis 

You say in your profile that you are looking for advice on being a SAHM.  Do you have an email address I could write to you to?
 
October 8, 2005, 10:28 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: mlrocz

The Bible was written by human beings.  Some said they were told what to write by God.  Other people have said they were told things directly by God, yet they are considered crazy. 

I questioned what my parents raised  me as (Catholic) because the church teaches that God hates some people and loves others.  We are to tolerate those people even though they are going to hell, only many people do live with hatred in their hearts.   God doesn't need us to go to church and tell our "sins" to another human being, he wants us to look up toward him and tell him ourselves.  I was made the same way man was. God had the design for women from the female god that sits beside him.  You belittle women and put yourself in a lower place just saying that aloud. The God most of us were taught about is vengeful, but that is not true. There is a hell, but it is on Earth.  I'll see you on the other side. 

BTW, I was using the bible reference as an example of how we learn to believe things are true.  I wasn't implying that all god fearing folk are still backwards in the household. 

You know what God also says....and this is a doosey.  God tells women to lay down for their husbands, but God tells men to lay down their lives for God and his Church.  My husband has to lay down his life for me, his God and his Church and all I have to do is lay down for my husband?  Does that seem fair?  Christian men carry a far heavier burden than we do or ever will.
 
October 8, 2005, 10:28 pm CDT

Traditional Views

Quote From: chdsgrl

Maybe Bill J needs to soften up the edges a little bit, but I have to say this, and I'm not a dolt.  What are your kids doing while you're in school?  I think once you make the decision to have kids, you need (or a parent needs) to be home with them and continue your schooling when they're grown.  As far as child support is concerned, I think what he was trying to say is that you should do whatever you can to keep your marriages intact as to not have the need for child support.  Yes, I have traditional views, and so far it's worked out pretty great! 

 

 

1.  You can't put your life on hold just because you have kids.  Life continues, and you must continue to grow as well.  If you don't have a good education you will end up in what Mr. Bush considers to be a very American fashion - working three jobs - yes, he did tell a woman she was very American for working three jobs all her life.  What a world we live in. 

  

I have been married for 8 years come this December and lived with my husband 12 years come this February.  There are no problems with my marriage that could lead to divorce.  

  

2.  My kids are 13 and 6 months, what do you think they are doing when I'm in school?   

 
October 8, 2005, 10:29 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Does anybody know any good websites for the stay at home mom?
 
October 8, 2005, 10:40 pm CDT

Literal meanings

Quote From: chdsgrl

You know what God also says....and this is a doosey.  God tells women to lay down for their husbands, but God tells men to lay down their lives for God and his Church.  My husband has to lay down his life for me, his God and his Church and all I have to do is lay down for my husband?  Does that seem fair?  Christian men carry a far heavier burden than we do or ever will.

All I have to say is the Bible has a lot to say. 

  

Don't take things too literally...it is not meant for you to take everything literally 

 
October 8, 2005, 10:42 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: mlrocz

1.  You can't put your life on hold just because you have kids.  Life continues, and you must continue to grow as well.  If you don't have a good education you will end up in what Mr. Bush considers to be a very American fashion - working three jobs - yes, he did tell a woman she was very American for working three jobs all her life.  What a world we live in. 

  

I have been married for 8 years come this December and lived with my husband 12 years come this February.  There are no problems with my marriage that could lead to divorce.  

  

2.  My kids are 13 and 6 months, what do you think they are doing when I'm in school?   

Well, hopefully, they're with a parent or other relative.  I am sincerely hoping they are not in daycare, at least not the little one. 

  

You do put your life on hold when you have kids, or at least you should.  When you have kids, you go from having your own life to giving them a life (and I don't mean material things).  Women who stay at home with their kids and sacrifice to be the ones who raise them, are the most selfless human beings on the planet. 

  

I wasn't assuming there were problems in your marriage.   

 
October 8, 2005, 10:46 pm CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: chdsgrl

I often refer to things I have to do at night (like putting kids to bed, baths, etc) as the night shift.  My husband works a lot of hours, but on the nights he's home, he lends a hand with whatever I need him to.  It's not that we have to do it all by  ourselves, but ultimately the job is ours. 

  

I can't imagine taking a job outside of the home and telling my co-workers, "I'm gonna do half of my job, but then I want you to do your job and the rest of mine".  I'd get fired. 

  

Diana 

 

ultimately, my husband and I both created our babies together and because we are a team, it is also his privelege to help. It isn't about my job, your job in our home, it is about partnership and taking our roles as spouses and parents serious. My husband works alot of hours as well and I don't expect him to come straight home and dig in, he has his time and relaxing times and all but thankfully he considers helping me his obligation as well as a great honor and when one of us can't put our best effort in, the other is there to take over, it is about family and partnership. I think we are basically saying the same thing here with maybe the exception that you are saying that it isn't your husbands job to do the night shift? so he has the option to help or not to help? Parenting takes two therefore it is BOTH of our jobs to take care of the home and family.If I understand you correctly, you are basically saying that he is only responsible for his day shift which is his job but you are responsible for your day shift AS WELL AS the night shift? I don' t think any in the work force would like it if their boss told them that one employee is responsible for one shift but you are responsible for TWO shifts and if the other feels the urge to help you that is fine but otherwise, it is your responsibility to work both shifts. Well it is going on 2 A.M. and I gotta get up and get to church early and depending on how hubby is feeling (he has been sick) he may be the one to get the girls up and dressed and off to church. Thank God I have a husband who is ready and willing to help with his children. : )
 
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