Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

I don't think you are in the place to tell anyone what their position is.  I would like to know what you think the characteristics of a woman who will leave just to collect child support from her poor husband.  When was the last time you walked in the door with some flowers for your wife or made her want to have some muffins cooked when you got in.  It is not about a place in society it is about respect.  Being macho does not make you a man.   

I raised a child on my own without any child support and looking back on it now that wasn't right I wasn't the only person responsible for my child, but I loved her and would not submit her to having to be with someone who did not love her enough to want to take care of her without being forced.   

If worrying about having to pay child support is a problem I have a solution (Keep your pants on).    

Looks like you have some issues within inside your self,   

Do you go to your husbands work and help him during the day? I think not. If it wasn't for your husband you would be taking care of your kids and working because I'm sure your the type of woman that would keep your kids from you husband for the sole purpose of receiving child support. So maybe you should get off your butt and stop watching TV and surfing the NET all day.   

If you are such a caring and loving person you would be able to look past all of this and accept your position in life. Remember your the Mommy, NOT the Daddy. So put on a nice dress and cook some muffins for your kids and you husband, and have them ready for him the next time he walks in the door.  

Bill Jinkens  

BILL,  

     MY RESPONSE TO THIS IS -  IF I WERE YOUR WIFE YOU  WOULD BE WORKING A WHOLE LOT HARDER TO AFFORD ALL THOSE CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS, THEN WE WOULD TALK OUR JOBS.  WOMEN DON'T STAY HOME BECAUSE IT'S THEIR JOB - THEY DO IT BECAUSE IT'S BETTER THAN PAYING SOMEONE ELSE TO RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.  YOU SHOULD BE SO DAMN GREATFUL TO YOUR WIFE THAT YOU KISS HER FEET EVERY NIGHT WHILE YOU THANK HER.  SHE IS RAISING YOUR CHILDREN.  SHE COULD GO OUT AND GET A JOB AND LET SOME TOTAL STRANGER AT A DAYCARE RAISE THEM.  AND BELIEVE ME, IT WOULD BE EASIER TO GO TO WORK EVERYDAY THEN DO WHAT SHE IS DOING.  SHE WILL EVENTUALLY BURN OUT AND GROW TO HATE YOU OVER THE YEARS OF BEING BELITTLED AND HELD DOWN.  THEN YOU WILL EAT ALL YOUR GENDER ROLE CRAP WHEN SHE IS LIVING LARGE ON YOUR PAYCHECKS.  SHE IS DOING YOU A SERVICE - YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN HER LIFE THAT CAN MEET HER NEEDS.  HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT - OR ARE YOU TO BUSY GETTING YOUR NEEDS MET?     

If you weren't made from man what were you made from??  

Well, let's see, I was conceived by a sperm and an egg just like any man was.  The only difference is that he got the Y chromosome and I didn't.  So....please don't be telling me what my role is based on a story in the Bible.  It is your choice to take every story in the Bible literally, not mine.  It is up to us to find out what God expects from us and use what gifts He gave us and know what our purpose is in life.   God made me a physician, I chose to listen to that and dedicate much of my life to that.  He also gave me a mother's heart and luckily led me to a husband who is my partner, and is as much of a cleaner, cooker and chauffer as I am.  I wish people wouldn't assume that their choices should be everyone else's.  You want to be a traditional wife?  Fine...I'm sure you'll then find a husband who agrees with you.  The key is finding the role that makes you feel happy, peaceful, fulfilled and that gives you a happy, content family. 

I am a 45 year old female and am looking forward to seeing what the answer is to this question on the next Dr. Phil show.  This is a question that men and women will probably not agree on for another decade or two, heck probably never.  Most men try to keep it a secret to avoid conflict, but if you listen real closely they are trying to give you hints.  They still want their wife to have a sexy trim body, staying at home keeping the house clean and organized, having a delicious hot meal waiting for him when he returns home from a hard day at work, and he wants you to greet him at the door wearing sexy lingerie and red heels.  Guess what?  During my marriage I was a member of a gym and went regulary, I think I can cook a pretty good meal (and that doesn't mean spaghetti), I did greet him at the door in sexy lingerie (of course only when no kids were around).  I did this for almost 20 years, and I worked full-time as a medical receptionist.  My husband got off work at 3pm, and I got off work at 6pm.  He should have had dinner started, but instead he waited for me to get off work to cook, I filled his dinner plate and served it to him, kept his drink re-filled, even prepared and packed his lunches for him.  He didn't do dishes, or laundry, or any housework (he said that was woman's work).  He was rarely home on his days off,  because his friends and hobbies were more important than I was.  Finnaly I woke up .  .  .   and divorced his Neanderthal butt in 2003.  So, now I am dating again and am confused.  You tell me what makes a good wife? Obviously the cooking, cleaning and sexy lingerie didn't keep my man at home.  Now what? 

Tell him what I am telling my husband. 

Foreplay and excitment about having sex starts in the morning. I rather have my hubby vacuum the house then buy me flower. That is more exciting to me then presents or flowers or dinners out or whatever the case might be. 

Or just quit having sex with him and if he complains about it you tell him he needs to start helping out more at home becasue you cant be a wife and a mother and a provider and a maid and a lover. Sometings gotta go. 

Good luck