I respect that many members on this board have a religious bent on how to define one's role as a wife, however, please do not assume that is everyone's perspective.
The role of wife has evolved drastically in the last two hundred years. And it has nothing to do with religion. We now live in nuclear families (i.e. father, mother and children). About 3 generation ago, that was not the case. The nuclear family is a post World War II creation - suburbs created to support the baby boom in the 1940's. Just prior to that most children grew up in extended families with grandparents etc present and helping.
It was never left up to one woman to run the entire household. Usually several members of the family were involved in this and in childcare. They all lived together and helped each other. It was unaffordable for each couple to have their own home, usually the son's wife came to live with the family.
The concept of working "outside the home" is a post industrial revolution idea. Before factories existed in the 1800's, most people (men and women) worked from their home - either in farming or producing goods within the home to use or sell. Few people went "out" to work. Women did their equal share to make everything that was used in the home from scratch. No minivans pulling into malls with hubby's credit card. It was a harsh life.
Both men and women worked just as hard to keep the household running. After manufacturing began in the 1800's, the less fortunate came into the cities looking for factory work . The division of "stay-at-home" and "going-out-to-work" began. The more affluent middle class was born and prided itself on having wives who did not work as they could afford to stay at home -carving out a domestic role. The poor did not have this luxury. That's what most of Charles Dickens' books are about.
Now we have a religious explanation stating that women are here to serve men in a domestic capacity(!) Survival was what mattered before with a high infant mortality rate.
Now after being pushed "get your laundry whiter than white" nonsense since the 1950's - the middle class definition of "stay-at-home-mom" has become the religious norm to many. The "spic n' span" ideal that your home cannot be clean enough are advertising creations meant to sell products and make women feel insecure about their domestic abilities. What do you think homes were like before all the sprays and wipes were invented?
Admit that it is cultural, not religious and not the norm for everyone else out there. The stresses of living in a nuclear family and the demands placed on women (no one to help her) and the expectations of some husbands has led to our current discussion now on Dr. Phil. This was not the case before and is a recent situation in history.
Stay-at-home-mom is a relatively new idea (historically speaking) just as women seeking the right to higher education and opportunities are as well.
(Original Airdate: 10/10/05) What makes a good wife? Is it cooking, cleaning, raising the kids and having great sex? Dr. Phil says too few couples understand what it means to be a "Mrs." His first guest, Grant, says his wife, Kelly, is in desperate need of "wife lessons" when it comes to her cooking, cleaning and the way she dresses. Kelly says trying to be the perfect wife while raising three kids is overwhelming, and she fears she'll never be good enough. See what happens when she puts her hubby to the "wife test." Will he be able to do it all? Then, Diana says a good wife must serve her man instead of trying to balance a career and a family. Plus, a woman who thinks "wife" is a four-letter word! Join the discussion.
