Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

I recently heard a mental-health professional use the term "human doing" (as opposed to "human being").  Western culture (and Grant) overvalues productivity and undervalues humanity.  

  

I would ask Grant, where is the benefit to his children in suppressing Kelly's being (the qualities for which he no doubt married her) in favor of maximizing her doing?  What does he want for them--a mother or a machine? 

  

But as a young wife preparing to "nest" for my firstborn, having no positive model other than a corporate one, I did my own (exacting, task-by-task) time study for the role of homemaker.  My findings were that maintaining the standards Grant proposes is, at minimum, a 3/4-time job before children arrive.   

  

After the arrival of even one child, therefore,  the model Grant advocates is mathematically impossible without outside help.   

  

As a society, we need to ask ourselves why men cling so tenaciously to expectations for their wives that, if applied in industry, would constitute labor violations on the order of a sweat-shop.   

  

As to social collapse,  the fear of which Grant uses to justify his view, perpetuating gender inequity in marriage seems more likely to accelerate, rather than forestall, the demise of family. 

  

  

I think that husbands and wives should respect each other for who they are and not expect  the other to be someone they are not.  Why is it so important to have everything perfect according to the husband?  If he wants things done a particular way, HE should do it.  I'm sure there are things she would like to have him do that would make her less frustrated as well.

As far as priorities are concerned, the priority should be for each other, not for how or what a wife or husband does.  I think she has it right, her children, her husband, and her self are much more important than a house, which seems to be what he is most concerned about.  This is why I detest the term "housewife" and will never use it for myself.  I did not say  "I do" to a house but to my husband.

I believe that the role of a wife depends on if she stays at home full time and doesn't work or if she and the husband both work. I think that if the wife stays at home full time then it should still be her role to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. Now, when the father gets home from work there is no reason why the father can't help out with the kids or other household duties if needed. I also think that if both the husband and the wife work full time then they should also share the responsibilities of everyday life when they get home. After all, isn't a marriage supposed to be equal and help one another in times of need?  

Well, when i first saw this episode my blood started to boil. Watching a man that condesending made me really really angry. The job of a wife is NOT to cook and clean house. Yes traditionally the woman does that...However, a woman chooses to do things like that now out of respect for herself and her home and out of pride for herself and her home. Not because it's her "job". If that is something you expect of yourself than great all the more power to you. But Don't either partner dare expect it of the other.  

       You want to see the house cleaner...GET OFF YOUR A$$ AND DO IT YOURSELF!    

This man, Grant, is treating Kelly, his wife, like an employee, not a cherished, beloved life-journey companion.  He is evaluating her as supervisor would evaluate an employee.  Overlooking her wonderful attributes is a shame and waste.  I feel sorry for his children and what is in store for them as the grow up.  There are many, many men out there who would appreciate Kelly for the wonderful person she is - I hope she find one of them before she is crushed beneath the weight of Grant's job description.  There is great joy in life, and both seem to be missing the point altogether. 

Dr Phil, 

In regards to Grant, I'm proposing an option for you. I think we should play wife swap here. Have Grant come live w/me for ONE week. At the end of that week, he will have two places to go. Back to his wife, and be happy, or to hell. Why Kelly doesn't become more assertive, and tell this guy where to go, is beyond my comprehension. Who gave this guy a corner on the truth? Why you weren't more assertive w/him, in a way that I've seen you council, is another baffling question to me. He's another male, into power and control, and will, in my opinion, become more aggresive if not counselled soon. I've seen this, and have been there. Kelly, get a clue. You're a great wife, person and mother.....he's dragging you down. 

I missed the first show with Grant and Kelly so you would assume that I would be seeing a less offensive Grant as he has already had the benefit of some work with Dr. Phil. Boy was I wrong. I feel horrible for Kelly it seems that her husband thinks that she must have some sort of time machine that will allow for more hours in the day. How does he expect her to care for children and maintain a spotless house, oh yes and of course the hip-hop and country dancing. Talk about unrealistic expectation! No wonder he's so frustrated: if I had his deluded expectations I would be frustrated too. I think Kelly is either a saint or she just has no self-esteem to put up with a man that won't wear his own wedding ring; what a cop out! It's unfortunate that she doesn't have the resources to leave him; I assume that thats why she's still in the marriage. 

It's too bad that an obviously sweet and beautiful woman would end up with a man who is so critical and who didn't bother to get to know his wife before he married her so he would be able to foresee that her priorities would be with their children instead of on decorating. 

Please, get a DIVORCE. This man is so not worth it. Anyone deserves better than that. For putting up with him for so long, you deserve WAY better than that. Here's to finding a good man! 

Kick him to the curb! 

I completely agree that that isn't how God intended for men to treat women. Just another thought about the whole women being created from Adam's rib...I do believe in God and what is writtin but I would have a major problem if a man treated me in such a degrading manner. I heard a quote once that I liked very much it was something like this...Woman was created from Adam's rib.  Not his ear to be higher than he, and not from his foot to be walked upon, but from his rib to be equal at his side.

I became a housewife about 2 years ago.  Before that, I was a single mother raising two girls, running a major program and fighting a custody battle.  I chose peaceful as my mood, because I have found a lot of peace in my home.  I thoroughly enjoy parenting, cooking, not so much cleaning and loving my husband.  On days that I don't feel like doing all of this, my husband understands, gives me a big hug and takes us out to dinner.  We have both been married twice before, and have learned to appreciate what we have in each other, which seems to be missed on a lot of couples.  People say communication is the key to a marriage, well I believe it is appreciation.  You can convey that without words.  My husband and I don't believe in his or her jobs.  If we see something needs to be done, we just do it.  Sometimes I feel bad if he starts doing laundry, because of the stigma set on housewives and their "jobs".  I know though that he appreciates everything else I did that day, and he is just trying to help out.  I love him for that, and I tell him, once again, how much I appreciate him.