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Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

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Created on : Friday, October 07, 2005, 03:34:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 10/10/05) What makes a good wife? Is it cooking, cleaning, raising the kids and having great sex? Dr. Phil says too few couples understand what it means to be a "Mrs." His first guest, Grant, says his wife, Kelly, is in desperate need of "wife lessons" when it comes to her cooking, cleaning and the way she dresses. Kelly says trying to be the perfect wife while raising three kids is overwhelming, and she fears she'll never be good enough. See what happens when she puts her hubby to the "wife test." Will he be able to do it all? Then, Diana says a good wife must serve her man instead of trying to balance a career and a family. Plus, a woman who thinks "wife" is a four-letter word! Join the discussion.

 

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October 7, 2005, 9:39 pm CDT

good grief! who came up with this subject?!!

Wives are meant to love and to honor their husbands just as husbands are to love and to honor their wives. Husband, if you want respect then you must also respect your wives. I am a stay at home mom with a wonderful husband. We work together as a team because we love and appreciate each other. Yes, my hubby worksa paying job and I am home with the children, but parenting is a 24/7 job and there is absolutely no way the wife/mother can do all this on her own. Knowing that she has a husband who loves and respects her and has no problem reaching out and giving a hand does wonders for the wifes self esteem, it certainly boosts her ego and desire to be the best wife that she possibly can be. My husband is a hard worker and gets his breaks and outings but he also knows that he helped create our children and has the responsibiltiy to make sure that he does his part in taking care of his family. My children love their daddy and loves it when he walks in the door, They don't cry and fuss when mommy leaves all by herself cause they know their daddy loves then enough to play and spend time with them. They have a great bonding relatoinship and I believe it is becasue of the attitude that my husband has. We are helpmates and we are there for each other. Some husbands need to get off theri high horses and love and honor their wives and step up to the plate in helping with the home and kids. You might actually enjoy the bonding and positive attention that you get from your wife and even your children. Of course wives need not to hound their husbands and tell him often that she loves him, don't expect him to come straight home and to start working, let him have some time to relax and to get settled in. Marriage is about two people and both of them have an obligation to love, respect and honor the other. It isn't about who is suppose to do what and who gets the privelege of being boss, it is about being helpmates and being there for each other. It is my wifestyle to love and cherish my husband to encourage and build him up and in return I get the same, our marriage is not perfect but we have a strong foundation and that foundation is our Lord and our love for one another.
 
October 8, 2005, 6:22 am CDT

Another sign women like being under a man's thumb

I saw the clip of this show and I'm sure its going to upset me to watch. 

Women, just because men treated us on the whole like slaves for centuries does not mean it is what God intended. 

IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man.  It doesn't make sense to me though, I know I wasn't made from man and that empowers me to realize I'm here to make up my own mind about how to let people (men) treat me.    

BTW, my husband is a loving caring individual, and an excellent father.  He does as much of the house cleaning and he listens to me.    

 
October 8, 2005, 7:16 am CDT

Ditto

Quote From: jettav

Wives are meant to love and to honor their husbands just as husbands are to love and to honor their wives. Husband, if you want respect then you must also respect your wives. I am a stay at home mom with a wonderful husband. We work together as a team because we love and appreciate each other. Yes, my hubby worksa paying job and I am home with the children, but parenting is a 24/7 job and there is absolutely no way the wife/mother can do all this on her own. Knowing that she has a husband who loves and respects her and has no problem reaching out and giving a hand does wonders for the wifes self esteem, it certainly boosts her ego and desire to be the best wife that she possibly can be. My husband is a hard worker and gets his breaks and outings but he also knows that he helped create our children and has the responsibiltiy to make sure that he does his part in taking care of his family. My children love their daddy and loves it when he walks in the door, They don't cry and fuss when mommy leaves all by herself cause they know their daddy loves then enough to play and spend time with them. They have a great bonding relatoinship and I believe it is becasue of the attitude that my husband has. We are helpmates and we are there for each other. Some husbands need to get off theri high horses and love and honor their wives and step up to the plate in helping with the home and kids. You might actually enjoy the bonding and positive attention that you get from your wife and even your children. Of course wives need not to hound their husbands and tell him often that she loves him, don't expect him to come straight home and to start working, let him have some time to relax and to get settled in. Marriage is about two people and both of them have an obligation to love, respect and honor the other. It isn't about who is suppose to do what and who gets the privelege of being boss, it is about being helpmates and being there for each other. It is my wifestyle to love and cherish my husband to encourage and build him up and in return I get the same, our marriage is not perfect but we have a strong foundation and that foundation is our Lord and our love for one another.
This message is about as clear as I've heard(read) in a long time.   Marriage is two way, and this is what it is meant to be.  It is also a job to be worked at and nurtured so the relationship grows. 
 
October 8, 2005, 7:29 am CDT

Exactly

Quote From: jettav

Wives are meant to love and to honor their husbands just as husbands are to love and to honor their wives. Husband, if you want respect then you must also respect your wives. I am a stay at home mom with a wonderful husband. We work together as a team because we love and appreciate each other. Yes, my hubby worksa paying job and I am home with the children, but parenting is a 24/7 job and there is absolutely no way the wife/mother can do all this on her own. Knowing that she has a husband who loves and respects her and has no problem reaching out and giving a hand does wonders for the wifes self esteem, it certainly boosts her ego and desire to be the best wife that she possibly can be. My husband is a hard worker and gets his breaks and outings but he also knows that he helped create our children and has the responsibiltiy to make sure that he does his part in taking care of his family. My children love their daddy and loves it when he walks in the door, They don't cry and fuss when mommy leaves all by herself cause they know their daddy loves then enough to play and spend time with them. They have a great bonding relatoinship and I believe it is becasue of the attitude that my husband has. We are helpmates and we are there for each other. Some husbands need to get off theri high horses and love and honor their wives and step up to the plate in helping with the home and kids. You might actually enjoy the bonding and positive attention that you get from your wife and even your children. Of course wives need not to hound their husbands and tell him often that she loves him, don't expect him to come straight home and to start working, let him have some time to relax and to get settled in. Marriage is about two people and both of them have an obligation to love, respect and honor the other. It isn't about who is suppose to do what and who gets the privelege of being boss, it is about being helpmates and being there for each other. It is my wifestyle to love and cherish my husband to encourage and build him up and in return I get the same, our marriage is not perfect but we have a strong foundation and that foundation is our Lord and our love for one another.
This isnt just the husbans fault for thinking thats whats wives are for, its the wives fault too for marrying into a relationship where the guy thinks thats what shes supposed to do
 
October 8, 2005, 9:33 am CDT

It seems to me....

That being a 'good wife' or a 'good husband' is something that one is supposed to learn watching their parents.  So what about those of us who grew up without their real father, and alcoholic step-father, and a mother, who had the best intentions, but didn't set a wonderful example?  I am almost 29 and have been married six years now.  I have two beautiful children and one on the way.  I grew up learning how to be selfish, controlling, and manipulative.  I made a choice (very bad one) at the age of 19 that drastically reinforced those charactertraits.  I have had one example in my life of what a 'good wife' is, but it was fleeting.  I am currently saving up the money to get Relationship Rescue for my husband and I for Christmas.   And when I saw the preview to the show that this topic was started for, I thought, "Finally!"  While it is great that y'all have loving husbands, and seem to have a good grasp on who a 'good wife' is supposed to be, what she is supposed to do, and all of that, some of us don't.  You would be surprised how many women out there don't know.    And to start the first post in this topic with : 
good grief! who came up with this subject?!!
seems really judgemental to me.   I'm not trying to start an arguement or anything, that was just my first reaction to that question.  I understand that  you probably were not intdening it that  way.  But I am definately coming back here in hopes that those of us who don't know, or aren't sure, about being a good wife can come together and talk to other women, like yourself, who do.  We can talk to each other and learn from each other. 
 
October 8, 2005, 9:58 am CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: skpcola

This message is about as clear as I've heard(read) in a long time.   Marriage is two way, and this is what it is meant to be.  It is also a job to be worked at and nurtured so the relationship grows. 
AMEN!
 
October 8, 2005, 10:03 am CDT

A RUINED GENERATION

  I think that the mind set that we are seeing here from men is the last effects of the womens rights act.  I am 27 and I know that my husbands mother waited on her husbands and sons like a maid.  She only had 4 boys.  Even to this day when we go visit my husbands family, his mom makes all the meals, does all the cleaning and when everyone is done eating - they plop down in front of the TV while she does all the dishes and all with her make-up done and her high heels on.   The husbands wives however are all expected to help with the cleaning and the cooking.  I refuse to bend on this one, so I get all the dirty looks and whispering because I clean my own plate, then go plop down in front of the TV with the guys.  This generation of men are grown up and expecting the same things.  Hopefully, we can raise our children to all be on a level playing field and finally break free from the past.  I am willing to bet that any man that has these expectations had a mother like this one. 

  

Ya, a stay at home wife has responsiblities to raise her kids in a clean house.  I don't mean immaculate for the husband - I mean clean of bacteria, any choking hazard, mold and so on.  A CLEAN HOUSE.  However, a wife should not ever have to run her house according to her husbands expectations.  My husband had to really let go of the roles he learning growing up.  He now realizes that his way isn't always the only way, and to fight with me and put me down over my hair not being done and the sink not shining is knit picking and hurtful to me.   

 
October 8, 2005, 10:42 am CDT

"Perfect hair and appearance"

I like to fix my hair and make up and dress in something other than a t-shirt and sweatpants for MYSELF.  I do it to combat my own laziness.  It is a signal to me that my day has started and I need to get busy doing whatever it is that needs to be done that day.   It's just a tool I use to help feel good about myself and about what I need to accomplish that day.  And there is nothing wrong with "dressing up for your man" every now and then.  My h doesn't expect it of me, but he sure appreciates the times when he comes home and I have gone the extra mile for him because I wanted to.  It's one of those things I do to combat the selfish nature I have that I mentioned in my previous post.  I have been working on overcoming the character flaws that I mentioned earlier.   These are things that I know are not healthy.  Anyway, I won't babble on....:) 
 
October 8, 2005, 11:22 am CDT

Just my opinion

Quote From: mlrocz

I saw the clip of this show and I'm sure its going to upset me to watch. 

Women, just because men treated us on the whole like slaves for centuries does not mean it is what God intended. 

IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man.  It doesn't make sense to me though, I know I wasn't made from man and that empowers me to realize I'm here to make up my own mind about how to let people (men) treat me.    

BTW, my husband is a loving caring individual, and an excellent father.  He does as much of the house cleaning and he listens to me.    

  

  

   I am in no way trying to start an arguement with anyone.  I was just a little bothered by one of your remarks.  "IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man."  I do firmly believe this because it is in the BIBLE.  And I wholeheartedly believe the bible.  With that said, I am in no way a doormat to my husband.  I choose to do all the laundry and cook all the meals but that is because I stay home with our kids.  It's the least I can do for him.  But when he gets home if I haven't felt well or had a rough day and dinner isn't made there is definitely no fights.  He is more than willing to come home and make dinner or at least help with making dinner.  He understands that just because I am a "Stay at home MOM" doesn't mean I sit around all day and watch soaps or the DR Phil show.  I actually record the show and watch it later in the night while I am in bed.  And just another note...Woman actually means.."from man" so yes dear you were made from man.  God created Eve WITH Adam's rib.  If you weren't made from man what were you made from??  Just a question.  I am happy that you are married to a caring individual and that he is willing to help.  But just because I believe what you don't doesn't mean that My husband isn't willing to help.  He is more than willing.  We share all the household cleaning equally.  Yes during the week I keep the house neat and clutter free, but come the weekend we are BOTH cleaning the house.  I wish you the best of luck in your marriage and GOD BLESS 

 
October 8, 2005, 11:24 am CDT

10/10 Wifestyles

Quote From: mlrocz

I saw the clip of this show and I'm sure its going to upset me to watch. 

Women, just because men treated us on the whole like slaves for centuries does not mean it is what God intended. 

IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man.  It doesn't make sense to me though, I know I wasn't made from man and that empowers me to realize I'm here to make up my own mind about how to let people (men) treat me.    

BTW, my husband is a loving caring individual, and an excellent father.  He does as much of the house cleaning and he listens to me.    

Looks like you have some issues within inside your self,  

  

Do you go to your husbands work and help him during the day? I think not. If it wasn't for your husband you would be taking care of your kids and working because I'm sure your the type of woman that would keep your kids from you husband for the sole purpose of receiving child support. So maybe you should get off your butt and stop watching TV and surfing the NET all day.  

  

If you are such a caring and loving person you would be able to look past all of this and accept your position in life. Remember your the Mommy, NOT the Daddy. So put on a nice dress and cook some muffins for your kids and you husband, and have them ready for him the next time he walks in the door. 

  

Bill Jinkens 

 
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