Topic : 12/28 Wifestyles

Obviously, the amount of messages coming are making i difficult to reply to each one individually.  But I at least wanted a chance to get some of the important issues addressed. 

First of all, with the whole changing your shirt thing....my husband could care less if he came home and found me in an evening gown or a pair of boxers.  I try very hard to organize my day so that I have time before he gets home to freshen up so that he can come home to a nice, clean wife.  However, my point is that if that's your husband's thing, then what's the big deal?  You want the mortgage paid, he wants to see you in something clean.  Not a big deal. 

Feminism....which I am very well versed on is something that keeps coming up.  The original feminism movement brought on by Lucretia Mott and others, was very warrnated.  My problem is with radical feminism that promotes the idea that "women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle".  If you choose to get married to a man, then you cannot treat him like that or he will fail as a husband. 

As far as working outside the home, I have done it and it doesn't work - at least not fully.  You are stretched for time, you have to make priorities that don't always benefit your family, and it's difficult to find any time to be with your husband.  If you have to work, that's a different story, but I have many techniques to help budget your finances so you can make it work. 

I had a great time on the show, and I think I expressed myself as well as I could in a short amount of time.  

Thanks, 

Diana 

I just finished watching the show, and I am speachless.  My wife and I are newly married, and we could not be happier.  We also have a new born, so my wife is at home all day.  I tell her to do whatever she wants, I do not care, as long as she's happy, I'm happy.  I work out of town, so I get home late, and leave early.  In the morn, if she happens to be up, she'll make my lunch and coffee, awsome, very greatful.  If she's sleeping from being up with our daughter, then I let he sleep, and I make lunch and breakfast, big deal.  When I get home, dinner is always ready, and if it isn't, I will offer to make it, but she usually makes it because she can cook, I can't, ha ha.  Anyways, we share the house work, she mostly does it, but on the weekends or my days off, I try my best to do it all.  We love eachother so very much, and I say, if we have love and respect for one another, then everything will just "flow" so to speak.  I am a young guy, only 20, but I am old and smart enough to realize that "Grant" is a loser.  He needs some direction.  I cannot beleive that the test they did, with him being the "hose wife" did not give him a kick in the pants and notice the stress and headache that the wife goes through trying to make Grant happy.  Yea, he works all day at one job, she works all day at several.  Anyways, this is only my opinion and life experience, or lack there of.  Woman deserve respect.  I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for woman/wife.  I have seen woman beatn', thrown around, talked down upon, and when I see stuff like that, I wish I could hit the husband/boyfriend, and get away with it.  Woman are equal, they are human beings, they have feelings, and should be treated like they truly are a queen.  They pushed out the babies that made us, they carry the baby for 9 months, and are in pain.  Us men make the money, but thats not all it should be.  We should be there for them, supporting them 24/7.  Anyways, my two cents.  Hope you all agree! 

Dear Dr. Phil, 

I felt so sad for Kelly today, and her face NEVER changed from looking completely down-trodden throughout the entire show. I kept thinking you were going to give her (them?) some advice as to what they should do to change the situation, but came away feeling that you had them on the show, discussed what their problems are, but never really gave them an outline on how to change things. Or gave them any real help, which totally surprised me since you usually do such a good job at that! 

Come on, Dr. Phil, let's have them back and see what's happening and work your magic! I know you can do it.....I've seen it before! 

Regards, 

Thurma

I saw the clip of this show and I'm sure its going to upset me to watch. 

Women, just because men treated us on the whole like slaves for centuries does not mean it is what God intended. 

IF you honestly believe everything you read, for instance that woman was actually made from Adam's rib, then maybe you don't have a problem being told what to do by your man.  It doesn't make sense to me though, I know I wasn't made from man and that empowers me to realize I'm here to make up my own mind about how to let people (men) treat me.    

BTW, my husband is a loving caring individual, and an excellent father.  He does as much of the house cleaning and he listens to me.    

I grew up with a mother that lived the life Diana protrayed on the show. I can not speak for Diana, but I can perhaps offer the thoughts of a child watching another woman in her life. My mother was an extremely intelligent woman who attended a prestigious university on full scholarship and became a successful nursing supervisor in one of the most renowned psychiatric hospitals in America. Her efforts as a head nurse put my father through his interships and residencies in surgery and allowed them to begin a family and keep us fed.  

Once my father started his own practice, my parents made the choice together that my mom stop working and stay home with the kids. By now there were 3 youngsters in elementary school. My mother becam the epitome of the stepford wife! Our home was perfect, my mother volunteered, there were dinner parties and family vacations, and a home-cooked family dinner was served EVERY night  when my Dad got home.  My mother even made our clothes in her "spare" time.  

In retrospect - that is when things began to sour. By the time I was in second grade my mother was clinically depressed and spent nearly my entire third grade year hospitalized. This was the beginning of a 20 year cycle of mental illness.  

The most relevant  observation  my family and I made regarding the "wifestyles" discussion is that the seminal incident every time my mother broke down and spiraled into her depression was a day in which one of her kids experienced a "growing up" milestone. Worst examples were each child's graduation (elementary and high school), the girl's coming-out parties, my brother's first date - etc.  

As a family, we came to realize - my mother had made her chidren her life and the more independent we became, the less of a person she felt she was.  

As a young woman, I made the chioce that I had to be a complete me in order for me to be the best example for my children. I was very upfront with my husband from the beginning and we have been together 16 years. We have two incredible daughters and I am the main bread-winner for our family while my husband works from home as a sales rep.  We share house-keeping and child-rearing equally. We have had changed in balance throughout the years but because we respect and love eachother, we have remained faithful and strong.  

Everyone on this board needs to be aware that there is not a young girl growing up today that will not at some point need to make a living for herself or support her family. The reality is that 57% of all mariages in America fail.  Young women need to go into marriage without  feeling that being a wife will complete them, instead that it will enhance their life. Young men should do the same. 

I believe strongly that my daughters need to see a good example of a woman who is a great wife and mother and also has a very successful career. It can be done! I am a complete career-woman and a complete mother.