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Topic : 10/11 College Chaos

Number of Replies: 102
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, October 07, 2005, 03:40:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Sending kids away to college should be a cause for celebration, but for some parents it's a cause for worry and sadness. Dr. Phil and Robin share their journey as they move their younger son, Jordan, away to college. Next, Becky is so obsessed with keeping a close watch on her 18-year-old daughter, Molly, she doesn't let her stay out past 11:00, is constantly calling her, and has even considered packing her bags and going to college with her! Can Dr. Phil help Becky learn ways to cope without a child in the house? Plus, nine female college roommates drink excessively, fight constantly, and their neighbors call the police on them at least twice a month!  Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 11, 2005, 3:08 pm CDT

Ridiculous residence

I just moved into residence. It's my first year of college and I've moved three times. I had requested to be on the alcohol free floor but for some reason that's not where I was put. I don't drink on a normal day let alone when I'm at school. I'm quiet here to do my schoolwork and graduate. I couldn't fathom in my wildest dreams what a nuthouse this place is. The whole building should be alcohol free. I don't understand why there needs to be alcohol. What's so great about it? I can have fun without it. Even more so cause I have money to spend on better things and I can remember what all the drunks did when they can't the next day. Yup so my program rocks (I'm taking radio broadcasting) but the fact that I'm from out of town and have to live here to go to school is a downfall. I think we'll have to find somewhere else to live next year this place is a joke. It's nice to know there are people that aren't as in debt as me and they have enough money that they can just go to college and goof off and afford to do it. The funniest part was when the assistant manager told me perhaps I'm not suited for residence! ME! I follow all the rules! I read the whole contract! Me! I thought it was funny. Maybe it was a joke.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:35 pm CDT

Shocked

I was surprised to hear the five women talk about their alcohol drinking!  The casual attitude was also shocking, going to classes drunk to me isn't funny!  We saved for our son to go and he's a sophmore this year.  He too has looked at it as a party atmosphere and I'm sorry but I think that these kids aren't ready for college.  College to me is a privilege not a good time.  There is time to relax and kick back and have some fun but one can have fun without getting drunk.  I'm a 60's generation and I've never been drunk or never did drugs and even though no one will give me credit I am proud of my discipline.  I think you handled the way the women weren't speaking truthfully to one another, however, I'm really disappointed you did not more bluntly discuss the alcohol problem.  I guess sex, drugs are acceptable trade marks of our young adults.  How sad, we've come to this place.  It's hard enough for parents and young adults growing in new ways, and both have their worries in each area, but to make it seem it's fine to do these things is even more troublesome to me.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:42 pm CDT

What empty nest??

On July 5th, 2005 my husband and I put our youngest child, (at 18 he is the last of four)  in the hands of the US Navy and sent him off to Chicago for boot camp.  After 30 years of being "the Mom & Dad"  my husband and I are now free to do things just for ourselves.   These days we can pretty much do what we want, when we want and why we want.  Sometimes we sit in the iving room in the evening and one of us will say, "Oh no, is this the empty nest syndrome?"  We love all of our kids, but the fact that they are able to go out on their own at the tender young age of 18 and be successfull and productive means that we did our job as parents and helped them become the responsible adults they are now.  If you can't let go, or they can't, something went  sideways.  Leaving home is a natural part of growing up, and while we don't have to like it, it's just part of life.  If you did your job then just trust your kids to make the right choices, they don't always forget the guidelines just because the guides are no longer there.  We love our kids, and we miss our son a lot, but it's great to be able to be a full time partner again. 
 
October 11, 2005, 3:43 pm CDT

WoW

 It always amazes me when you have one of these shows.I have been letting my children ago since birth.They have to be  able to care for themselves befor they go out the door to college.My children are my children ,not my spose,or best friends.Of course I get teary when they move on ,BUT they always come back.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:47 pm CDT

Molly REALLY needs a reality check

What bothered me most about Becky's story is her very obvious avoidance of her marriage.  Did you notice how she just totally skipped over her and Matt's relationship.  Since Molly was born its been all about the baby, the little daughter, the teenager, now the college student.  They're always been best buds.  Hmmm, isn't that a no-no in Dr. Phil's theory of child rearing?  We're their parents, not their best friends.  I got the very strong impression that her marriage leaves her cold, perhaps for years now and her mother/daughter relationship has been her world, not her marriage.  Becky's problem is that when Molly leaves, she's going to have to face Matt head on and with there being no foundation, I have to wonder just how long the marriage will hold up. 

  

I sort of speak from first hand experience here.  I'll never forget the day our youngest left home for the last time.  I can still feel the panic and confusion like it was yesterday.  One night we were watching TV and I looked at my husband and thought, "Wow.  Who is this guy and what do we do nowA?".  We had built our lives around our kids' lives so much so that now that they are gone, we had nothing but space between us, we had lost touch with each other, we had become strangers in our own home. 

  

Guess the doc could do a segment on how to avoid that happening to couples as they raise their kids.  Pay attention to each other and make sure you're not losing touch in your rush to raise your kids.  It was a sad testimony on our 'successful' child rearing that left our marriage in ruins. 

 
October 11, 2005, 3:48 pm CDT

I can't even talk to or see my daughter

 My daughter went  away  to college in July of 2003 taking her 7 month old son and her son's father with her. Since then I have only talked with her a few times and for the last 1 1/2 yrs have not been allowed to see or talk to her or my grandson who will be 3 this coming sunday, Her boyfriend is a total control freak and does not like any of her family especially me. His mother is encouraging him to do this. She has fiull access to my grandson when ever she wants. I cry every day about this . how is that for a college horror story.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:49 pm CDT

empty nest

   We are now an empty nest couple.  Our oldest two children just graduated from college.  Our son got married and moved to Orlando Florida and our daughter took a job in Tampa Florida - we live in Kentucky.  Our youngest son attends college at Long Beach State and will probably never return to Kentucky.  We are excited that our children have succeeded in growing up and leaving the nest.  Certainly we miss them very much and I do cry everytime we visit and leave them but they understand that it's ok for mom to cry.  When our son went to California, friends asked "why did you let him go that far away?"  Our reply was "how could we not"  He had dreamed of going away to college for several years and Long Beach is one of the best schools for what he wanted to study.   

 
October 11, 2005, 3:55 pm CDT

Don't pick on the rat

Get over it Dr. Phil. Rats are great pets. I have 2 right now but have had 5 others over 

the years. They are clean, intelligent and loving. It isn't such an odd thing. They are sold as pets 

because people HAVE them as pets. I know you're a critter lover. Make room for a rat in your 

perspectives too. 

 
October 11, 2005, 3:56 pm CDT

I can't even talk to or see my daughter

 My daughter went  away  to college in July of 2003 taking her 7 month old son and her son's father with her. Since then I have only talked with her a few times and for the last 1 1/2 yrs have not been allowed to see or talk to her or my grandson who will be 3 this coming sunday, Her boyfriend is a total control freak and does not like any of her family especially me. His mother is encouraging him to do this. She has fiull access to my grandson when ever she wants. I cry every day about this . how is that for a college horror story.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:57 pm CDT

re: empty nest

Quote From: ncmolly59

I am new to message boards and have learned a great deal about instant messaging since my nest is empty.  My oldest son left for boot camp in the air force 2 years ago and it was alot harder than college.  He was only allowed to call home very few times and his calls were heart breaking and so were his letters.  Kids can leave college and call home daily and visit on weekends.  Military is different and the whole purpose of boot camp is to break your spirit just to build you up again.  I am proud of him and who he has become.  My daughter entered college this year and now my nest is very empty.  Not to mention the loss of our 17 year old dog this year as well.  When we dropped my daughter off at school she was nervous but excited and she loves college.  She is only 17 so I was worried about her and still am.  She has made a nice adjustment and her grades are getting better hopefully as she adjusts.  I worry about all the drinking that goes on even my daughter who was a pretty straight laced kid is partying.  She says its only on the weekend but I think this is too much.  I really think there is a bigger problem here with all the partying that goes on in college.  I know how it was when I went and with all we know about alcoholism and drugs why it is still going on.  Thanks for the show Dr Phil.
When my children were at home my husband and I felt that we were teaching our 2 children how to behave in the "real world"  We were given our children only to have to let them go.  My son and daughter are college graduates, married and have jobs.  It is hard when all are first gone.  Keep the faith that they will keep to what you have taught them.  The old saying you have to let the bird go out of the nest to come back.  When our daughter went to school she choose to live in a dorm that was not quite the party area, but there is always a party somewhere if one wants it. Our son partied more than our daughter and I think has had some regrets, but he did work hard at the job he had at school
 
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