....THAT AS A PARENT WE HAVE TO ALLOW FOR SOME FREEDOM TO THE CHILD TO ALLOW THEM TO FIND THEMSELVES AND THEIR STRENGTHS & WEEKNESSES.......SO LONG AS IT IS IN GOOD JUDGEMENT OF COURSE.
WITH MY FIRST CHILD I WAS OVER PROTECTIVE.......I WORRIED ALL THE TIME (I STILL DO..), BUT I IN A SENSE I SHELTERED MY SON, I THOUGHT I WAS PROTECTING HIM, BUT WHAT I DID DO WAS DENIE HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP CERTAIN SKILLS....SUCH AS SOCIAL AND COPING. COMPARED TO MY 2 YOUNGER ONES HE LAGS IN BOTH......HE TENDS TO TAKE THINGS TO PERSONAL/INTERNAL WHEN NEGATIVE SITUATIONS OCCUR......AND NOW I REALIZE THAT I CAN'T ALWAYS PROTECT HIM FROM NEGATIVE SITUATIONS. FOR INSTANCE, HE IS NOW IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND UNFORTUNATELY HE HAS EXPERIENCED "BULLYING" IN SCHOOL......IT REALLY HAD A NEGATIVE AFFECT ON HIM THAT HE HAS A HARD TIME TO LET GO........HE HAS TAKEN IT SO PERSONAL......THANKFULLY, WITH ENCOURAGEMENT AND ALOT OF COMMUNICATION HE IS HEALING AND IS BEGINING TO REALIZE ITS NOT SOMETHING HE NEEDS TO HOLD ONTO. THIS, INSTANCE AS HURTFULL AS IT IS I AM SURE WOULD HAVE BEEN ALOT EASIER FOR HIM TO MOVE FORWARD FROM IF I DIDN'T DENY HIM THE SKILLS HE SO NEEDED TO DEVELOP WHILE AS A YOUNG CHILD......I REALIZE THIS NOW AND AM SO SORRY THAT I DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO RUN AND PLAY FREELY........AND TO ALLOW THOSE LITTLE INSTANCES THAT OCCUR TO HAPPEN AND HAVE HIM STAND UP BRUSH HIMSELF OFF AND CONTINUE TO PLAY.
I SEE THAT IT IS HOW I PARENTED, I REALIZE THAT I DID DENY HIM TO LEARN......MY OTHER 2 CHILDREN I HAD LITTLE RESTRICTIONS ON........I ALLOWED THEM TO RUN AND PLAY, I ALLOWED THEM TO EXPLORE, AND HAVE THE FREEDOM THEY NEEDED EVEN AS YOUNG CHILDREN AND NOW I REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR THEM TO HAVE THAT SO THAT THEY CAN BECOME WELL ROUNDED INDIVIDUALS. THE 2 YOUNGER ONES ARE SO MUCH MORE SOCIABLE, THEY COPE BETTER IN ALL SORT OF INSTANCES, AND ARE MORE OUT GOING.
I AM SURE MOST WILL ARGUE THAT EVEN THOUGH THEY PROTECT THEIR CHILD, THEY ARE STILL HAPPY AND WELL ROUNDED. MY SON IS TOO......HE'S NOT ANTI-SOCIAL......HE HAS FRIENDS LAUGHS AND HAS FUN BUT HE'S JUST NOT AS OUTGOING, AND HE JUST TAKES THINGS TOO PERSONAL, I BELIEVE IT HAS TO DO WITH HOW I PARENTED TO HELP ME FEEL AT EASE WITHOUT GIVING ANY CONSIDERATION TO HOW WHAT I WAS DOING WOULD EFFECT HIM NOW......SO YES, ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GROW FREELY.....SO LONG AS IT IS ALL IN GOOD JUDGEMENT.
(Original Air Date: 10/12/05) They won’t let you walk down the street alone. They call your house five times a day, screen your calls, and monitor your every move. It’s not the FBI; it’s mothers! When 14-year-old Ashlee was on the show nearly two years ago, she said her mother, Teresa, was embarrassing and strict, and she wanted it to stop. Now she’s back and says her mom still won’t allow her to have any freedom. See the assignment Dr. Phil gave them that brought Teresa to tears. Plus, meet a 43-year old woman who says her mother is so overprotective, she calls the police if she comes home late. Can her mom learn how to let go? Share your thoughts.
