The reason for my message title is a bit funny and a bit sad...My mom is EXACTLY like the Moms on this show. To sum up my childhood, I tell people that I had the morning's blotter (section of the paper that reports crimes in the area) cut out and put in my cereal bowl as a child...and that was just the start of the day! If you could call your own mother a stalker, I would have. My mom's tactics included fear and guilt. I was raised to be terrified of strangers because "at least one of them would end up stealing me" and my mom "would end up dying of sadness." To this day (at 27 years old) I am requested to tell her where I'm going, call her when I arrive, call when I leave and when I get home, along with listening to all the reasons why I shouldn't even bother going, what with all the risks and all. Fortunately, I live a couple of hours away (my own doing) and I just don't tell her every time I go somewhere...although I am still feeling the guilt like "if I die or get kidnapped, I'll feel terrible that she didn't know that I was even going to be gone." I try to be well-adjusted and very concious of where my fear comes from when I feel it over-whelming me, but the constant reminder from her that "I will be kidnapped someday" is always on my mind in some way. Because of our struggle with this, we have much less contact than I wish we had. It is the only way that I can live my life and she can be at peace just thinking I'm sitting at home...
Real healthy, right?
About two years ago, we were in the upper peninsula of Michigan visiting my Grandama (town population of 150 people) and when my mom laid down to take a nap, i drove about 20 miles away just looking at the landscape. In the 35 minutes that I was gone, my Mom had woke to find me gone, notified everyone in the motel and insisted (hysterically) that they call the police because LUMBERJACKS had kidnapped me! I came back to find mass hysteria, and yet another humiliating ordeal. All because I wanted to look at some trees!!!
I am writing to appeal to all the Moms out there headed down this path. I want to thank you for loving us enough to do anything to protect us. I also want to remind you that a child's outlook on life is based on what he or she is taught as a child. Please do not subject your children to public embarassment, social anxiety and a life so sheltered that they might as well be chained in someone's basement. Believe me, it sets them up for a life of working at over-coming a fear that is so real and so "validated" by your own Mom that you have to remind yourself that it hasn't actually happened.
And to all the children in this situation, be patient. They love you. But, do something now so it can start to change as early as possible.
I am very well-adjusted despite all of this, but not without work. I want all Moms to see that if you do this, your child has a HUGE chance of being harmed emotionally and socially. So, how can you do that to them based on a fear that something "might" happen if you don't.
Hope this all makes sense! I'm off to the mailbox...don't tell my Mom!
(Original Air Date: 10/12/05) They won’t let you walk down the street alone. They call your house five times a day, screen your calls, and monitor your every move. It’s not the FBI; it’s mothers! When 14-year-old Ashlee was on the show nearly two years ago, she said her mother, Teresa, was embarrassing and strict, and she wanted it to stop. Now she’s back and says her mom still won’t allow her to have any freedom. See the assignment Dr. Phil gave them that brought Teresa to tears. Plus, meet a 43-year old woman who says her mother is so overprotective, she calls the police if she comes home late. Can her mom learn how to let go? Share your thoughts.
