Topic : 03/16 Cheerleader Scandal

I think the truth of what happened is somewhere in the middle of what we heard, although, I don't feel that it was premeditated. HOWEVER, jail is such a waste of human life. What if Brandi could help other teens choose another path instead of the one that she choose. THAT is the only good that could come from this tragedy. I hope the parents of the boy who lost his life, would, one day, be able to see through their pain, and choose to help others. I don't know that I would be brave enough to do so, but, I pray that they would be able to.  If Brandi were to be paroled, and conditions were set so she would have to speak to schools, talk to troubled  kids, talk until she is blue in the face about her mistakes, and what the cost has been to her AND HER FAMILY.  Just Maybe, she could save a life. I am sure many kids, never realize the cost to their own families. However, NONE of this can happen, if the family of the deceased boy,  continues to hate. They have that right, and I don't blame them,,,,,but,,,just maybe,,,,,,,,they could help keep their son's memory alive in a good way.......it is up to them........ 

It is very difficult to know what to do and say when you're in the thick of it and everybody wants to condemn you. Brandi is fighting for her life. There is no guarantee that cops will believe the truth. They are not perfect. 

I think you lie too. And would lie. Would you simply roll over if you had done something EVERYBODY was misunderstanding? Would you not try to fill in the gaps because the people who are accusing you weren't there and don't seem willing to understand? 

Another problem is time. It takes a lot of time to explain the context of something. And who are you going to tell? No one is willing to listen. It is just too exciting to play judge and jury on a feeling. Like you are doing. 

Too bad the photographs of the accident scene couldn't have been closely analyzed to see if the tracks in the yard even matched Brandi's car tires.  But even if they matched & if the patterns of the tracks indicated so, that would only show that she swerved and not that she premeditated it ...    

The truth is this horrible thing happened.  But all the anger in the world will never bring Daniel back.  Even if Brandi stayed locked up forever, he cannot come back.  Even if Brandi confessed that in a passionate moment of anger, she made a split second decision to strike him down, Daniel cannot come back.   

Daniel's family needs to understand this.  I believe that they are in so much pain that they simply want to strike out (like a cornered animal) and hurt those that they perceive are hurting them.   

BOTH FAMILIES need to STOP COMMUNICATING ENTIRELY with one another.  If I were either family, I would move away so I would never, ever happen to run into them or see them again.  Each time they see one another or hear something someone said in their community, their wounds are ripped wide open and salt is poured in.  Each family needs to find a way to "circle their wagons," blocking out the other family and focusing on healing themselves.   

Neither family benefits from saying ugly things to one another -- everyone is hurt by that behavior.  It seems to me that each family needs to nurture themselves and then someday, with God's help, each family MUST seek the strength to forgive ... because as Dr. Phil pointed out ... forgiveness, in the end, is not about the other person ... it is about self-healing.  My prayers will be with all of you ... 

"Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”  “No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!”  Matthew 18:21-22 

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 

"Jesus said, "But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”  Mark 11:25, 26  

 "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'  But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.'  But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:38-45 

Remember, it is all in God's hands.  One day each of us will stand before Him in judgement and His eternal justice will right every wrong.  Prepare your hearts and your children for that day ...
 

Phil turned the case over to public opinion. He said so at the end of the show. He did the right thing. Give Brandi the jury she never had.  

It is not a good idea to get a lawyer in this day and age. Better to go to trial and represent yourself. It is surprising how much easier it is to tell the truth that way. Just you and the judge. 

I think it is ESSENTIAL that this girl be freed ASAP. She was young and hormonal when she did what she did. She should not be damaged any further by the ill treatment that jail amounts to. 

Daniel's family has every right to be sad and tormented. All they need to do to move to the next stage in this is to realize that Daniel played a part in what happened to him. It was overwhelmingly an accident. Their feelings for Brandi before anything happened should not be brought to the full now. Just focus on the accident. 

My son was intentionally murdered in a hospital by doctors and nurses covering up a mistake. He played NO part in his own death. I often wish for the relief offered when a victim can at least be blamed a little for what happened. There is something about a victim KNOWING he was taking a gamble that makes the final outcome a little easier to take. 

I strongly suggest that Daniel's family derive as much consolation from this as possible. There is also NO intent on Brandi's part. She did not take the car in order to kill Daniel. Do you have any idea how humiliating INTENT is? I imagine every minute of every day how the doctors in my son's case plotted and planned to kill him. My son was just an inconvenient piece of meat to them. He had no value at all.  

Brandi and Daniel were arguing. Things were equal and stuff happens during this time. Their relationship had to end and it ended like this. If it hadn't they would still be going at it. As are many others on planet Earth!  

What a strange business human reproduction is. It makes people do horrible things to each other. 

["Sometimes light on a subject is good. Perhaps it will help avoid a similar occurance, and condition other young brains to possibilities before they get out of control."] 

The above words were given by Dr. Phil's staff in a previous message as a justification for this show being aired ....  

But it seems that the emphases of the show was not on "young brains," "possibilities," and "control."  Rather, the emotional impact of the show was on the horrible psychological fallout each family is experiencing.  That's why just "shedding light " would not be enough to help these folks.  This is a case where THERAPY and more therapy is greatly needed!   

I felt that the most valuable words spoken during the whole show were the quick, few, wise words Dr. Phil spoke to each family at the very end of the show.  However, given what we saw from each family, I seriously doubt these families were able to even hear his 5 seconds of therapy much less take them to heart.  Unless they push the replay button about 1000 times ... 

EDITED: This quote was not given by a member of the Dr. Phil staff, it was a member that made this comment.

Dr. Phil, You were so right to say to Crystal that Brandy controls her life daily through unforgiveness. 3.5 yrs. is long enough to carry such a huge burden. I go to church with the man that was driving the pick up truck that ended my brother's life in 1973. What a wonderful work God did in my heart when I asked for His help in forgiving. The inquest outcome was to hold the driver to appear before a grand jury due to "negligence" in his driving: speeding, eating, and in the middle of the road. My father stated that taking this man from his family would not bring my brother back. Brandy's mother is right in the fact that Brandy will pay every day of her life for what happened. Enough pain, enough jail time! Move on to the next phases of our lives, but do not forget the family member we lost. Look for some positive way to keep the memory of the loved one alive. And one thing that impressed me is: Brandy gave no excuses only remorse for her actions. That is more than my family received from the man responsible for my brother's death. And is this family even grateful for the time they had Daniel? They need to think that they were allowed 18 yrs. with this young man. And in that 18 yrs. didn't he stand for more than the bitterness they spew out to all surrounding them? 

Janice Giles