Topic : 03/16 Cheerleader Scandal

My heart goes out to both families involved.  I hope that Brandi's family is able to get help to deal with what's happened -- especially her brother.  I also hope that Daniel's family is able to cope with their grief.  I agree with what was said on the show -- they need to start thinking about forgiveness.  Like Dr. Phil said, it doesn't have anything to do with making Brandi feel better; it is totally about separating themselves from the pain and toxic feelings they are engulfed in so they can live their lives. They need to start healing because certainly their boy wouldn't have wanted them to be ripped apart like this.  I especially feel for Crystal.  You can just see how much pain she is in. 

Personally, I think that even if Brandi did do it on purpose she shouldn't necessarily be held to the same standards as an adult.  It is a proven fact that at 16 an individual has hardly any ability to make appropriate decisions on instinct.  This is simply because that part of the brain hasn't matured yet .. it's actually one of the last parts to mature.  I'm not saying that she shouldn't be punished for what she has done.  By all accounts, she should have to face the consequences of her actions.  However, I just hope that the victim's family can come to terms with the fact that the Brandi that hit their son that day is probably not the same Brandi that is there in jail.  Both were casualties that night. 

My sister was killed in a car accident when she was 15. Her boyfriend was convicted of aggrevated vehicular homicide and sentenced to community service, license suspension and probation. He would have served jail time had he been tried as an adult, but he was 16 at the time and was therefore tried in juvenile court. He will be on probation until he is 21 (a few months from now), but got his license back at 19. 

I was 7 months pregnant when she died and I promised myself that I wasn't going to let my grief stop me from enjoying the good things that were happening in my life. I thought that my new baby deserved better than that. My grandparents, however, had extreme trouble letting their anger go. My grandfather, who knows a lot of people in the community, kept tabs on him constantly. They showed up at every court date. My grandfather reported him every time he so much as thought about breaking his probation. They even testified at the original hearing to determine whether he would be tried as an adult. They still talk about him with hatred and resentment. The problem here is, they haven't been able to move forward with their lives. My grandmother is a basket case. It has been five years and she still cries everytime she sees a picture of my sister. Holidays and family gatherings are so depressing I don't even like to go anymore. I now have two children and they can't even seem to enjoy being great-grandparents the way the should. They are constantly talking about my sister and how unfair it was that she was taken from us, which then brings them around to what a horrible person her boyfriend is, how he should rot in hell, how they hope he never has a peaceful moment for the rest of his life, etc. 

Please realize that this is not healthy. They will never work through their grief and be able to move forward until they come to grips with this animosity and are able to forgive him. We all make mistakes and his, as with the girl in today's show, will live with him for the rest of his life. Hanging on to resentment and anger only makes your life miserable, it will never bring my sister or any of our loved ones back. There is no way for you to heal if you don't learn to forgive. I'm telling you from experience, this kind of anger will destroy you and everyone around you eventually. I strongly suggest joining a support group. If you do not want to go into a group situation, find some kind of therapy. I joined online and e-mail discussion groups, as well as participated in one-on-one grief counseling. 

I would like to know how Brandy's family would feel about Daniel if say Daniel had accidently killed their daughter .   They would expect him to stay in jail at least 12 years or longer.  I feel very much for Daniel's family.  I think Brandy knew that she hit Daniel since she knew he stepped in front of her car.  She didn't even stop to see if he was ok or dead or anything.  She deserves at least 12 yrs. or more.