Topic : 03/16 Cheerleader Scandal

An incident similar to this happened in my community, a small one of about 2500 people.  The minute I heard about it, I said that could be my child.  Either the one who lost his life or the one accoused of taking the life.  Our community was divided at the time and many people lost friendships and the understanding of family members.  As a bystander I felt  I could understand how both families felt.  Nothing will bring back the boy but please let your healing process begin. 

Although I understand that the Brandy's parents are sad that she is in jail, but they seem to have no sympathy for the boy's parents.  It's like they (Brandy's parents) are mad at the boy's parents.... Although, I do beleive that this boy probably didn't treat the girl nicely, I have sympathy for Brandy.  HOWEVER, she should never have gone over there.  I think both families need to learn to forgive for their own sakes.  I believe that Brandy should serve her sentence and I think that it is somewhat selfish that she "wants to go home."  The whole situation is awful and tragic, but at least Brandy has her life, what about the boy?  Where were her parents if this guy was beating her?  If they knew about it, why didn't they intervene?  She was still a minor.   

May God place his arms around both families and let them heal. 

I went through something similar. 

My Junior year in high school, my best friend was "accidentally" shot in the head by another friend at a party.  The party was thrown by another friend's older brother who lived on his own and would let us all party at his place occassionally.  We were drinking alcohol but ironically (and even sadder) my best friend hadn't had a single drink (the other boy who shot him had been quite intoxicated). 

I say "accidentally" because as soon as it happened (it happened in one of the back bedrooms) everyone else (who was in the living room or outside) ran to their cars and left.  The shooter's friend stayed behind though and called 911 - and reported that my best friend had commited suicide.  The shooter then left and drove home and didn't say a word to his parents. 

The police didn't figure out who the shooter was OR go pick him up for questioning until the next morning (and thus no longer drunk).  He admitted to it but said it was 100% an accident.  Either way, my best friend's parents didn't want to press charges because in their words "no amount of jail time was going to bring their son back" and they didn't want to ruin/waste another life. 

They did ask the shooter - once the trial and everything was over and calmed down - that he would come to them and tell them what happened that night.  This was largely because stories, events and the police report didn't match up. 

That happened 7 years ago this November and the shooter has NEVER come to see the family - or responded/answered their letters. 

While his parents have long forgiven the shooter - I never can and will.  Not for taking him away and not for the way he handled the aftermath.  My only comfort is the chance that the shooter is in much pain as I am and that night haunts him today - 7 years later - as it does me and my best friend's brother. 

The family of the boy that got run over in today's episode could learn a lesson from the selfless love my best friend's parents bestowed on his shooter.  But I understand their pain and suffering. 

Both families need to have extensive therapy to learn to live with the death of the one child and the involvement of the other child.  I'm especially concerned for the siblings.  My son refused therapy when his brother was killed in a car accident and I think I made a mistake in not having him talk to 

our therapist.   

My heart goes out to both families.  I can't imagine the grief and pain that they are going through.