Topic : 03/16 Cheerleader Scandal

Dear Dr Phil; 

    I feel for both  family's They both lost.but hating will not fix the lost so move on and live for the other children in valved  

 NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THIS CASE IS. WE DONT KNOW THE FACTS WE WERENT THERE. WE CAN ONLY UNDERSTAND THESE 2 FAMILIES WHO ARE GOING TO HATE EACH OTHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR. THAT IS WORNG. WE CAN TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IT. BUT WE DONT KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN WE HEAR WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY. WE DONT SEE THE REPORT. WE DONT KNOW WHAT HE WAS LIKE TO HER. WE DONT KNOW WHY SHE DID WHAT SHE DID. WE CAN ONLY HAR AND PRAY FOR THE FAMILIES IN HOPE THEY CAN MOVE ON. LOVE EACH OTHER AND DO THE RIGHT THING WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.

Who left you in charge of the universe?  "Judge not, lest ye be judged" 

I sure wouldn't want you on a jury of my peers... 

She is definitely guilty of leaving the scene of an accident, but beyond that, I don't claim to know the truth, so how could you??? 

The situation of Daniel's death and Brandi's imprisonment is a tragedy. I can understand how this event could have been an accident and I can empathize with Brandi and her family. I can understand the anger and frustration that Brandi and her family have concerning the Judicial system. Our family is experiencing a similar frustration with the system. 

  

Trusting an incompetent attorney has resulted in our son going to prison and there was no victim involved. (only discussing a fantasy transpired) Having phone conversations with the attorney, and writing letters to public officials and even the judge was to no avail. Because of the plea bargain made by the attorney with out our son's consent, no one listens and assumes that he did the crime and got what he deserved. It is extremely frustrating to find no one is listening. This situation has caused a great deal of stress to our family and our son. It has cause me as well as other family members to completely mistrust and lose all faith in the Judicial system. 

  

Like Brandi, our son will pay for a crime for the rest of his life. Many doors will be closed for both of them  when they get of prison. Even if they are innocent of the crimes, (and I believe they both are), the Judicial system's decision will make their lives very difficult. Like Brandi, our son had great potential. He was a high honor student in high school and graduated cum laud from college. He was never in trouble and never even had a parking ticket. 

I believe with all my heart that she deserves to spend at least the 12 years in prison.  At first she says that she did not know she had hit her ex-boyfriend but then recalls an amazing fact that he jumped in front of the car.  She also stated that she was only traveling 20 mph & yet his body flew 58 feet.  Give me a break!  She got off easy.  She is exactly where she deserves to be.  She only recalls the facts that tend to benefit her.

I agree with your comments.  If we want to dismiss the entire suicide attempt,  couldn't he have stepped out in front of her car, thinking she would stop, as an attempt to keep her there so they could talk?   We could come up with so many scenarios - of course we will never know what really happened.   

  

I think Daniel's family is kind of scary.  This accident happened almost five years ago.  To hear them on the show and to read the posts by his family members, it gives the impression that this just happened.  They have not moved forward or even attempted to move forward - none of them.  They all have the same mindset.  They wanted Brandi to get life without parole.   If she had been given that sentence, they still wouldn't be pleased.   

  

They have dishonored their loved one by using his name with bitterness and hatred.  I think they should focus their energy on honoring him in a positive way.  I read that he was a football player.  Instead of seeking revenge on Brandi, how about setting up a scholarship fund in his name.  His family would be giving back to the community and Daniel's name would forever be associated with a positive event.  What a wonderful way to honor the life of the wonderful son and brother that they claim he was. 

WOW.  I mean, WOW.  I have just read through all of the posts on this show, and I am practically in a state of shock myself!  The show doesn't air in our area for another 10 minutes, and I can hardly wait to see it.  I saw the previews yesterday on it, and have already made plans for my 17 year old son to watch it with me.  

While I cannot pass judgement on who is or isn't to blame, I can tell you one thing:  I lost my husband in an electrical accident 9 years ago.  The grieving process takes on many faces, many stages, and they are not "first this, then this" etc., etc.  It is a process that is as individual to each person just as each person is individual and unique.  I, for one, will not pass judgement on any of the family members for the way they are handling their own grief.  That is very personal; very sacred.  I realize that there are ramifications for others because of the way they are handling it, and it is true that they may need counseling in order to work through it all, but one thing is for certain: THEY DO NOT DESERVE TO BE JUDGED OR CRITICIZED BY ANY ONE FOR HOW THEY ARE HANDLING IT.  I could not begin to imagine how I might react if I were the parent of either one of these kids.   

  

God help you all is my prayer.  May His angels encompass you all around and His peace fill your lives. 

I agree the best thing for daniel's familly is to let go of the anger for thier sakes, but I disagree and feel her actions that night show anything but innocence and it would be unjust to let her have a lesser sentence just because people want to feel sorry for a young girl doing HER time in prison. If you take a life you must pay for it and paying for it in your head just isn't enough. 

Her familly acn still talk to her, see her and all be it , she isn't living the life her parents wanted for her, she is living her life, which is much more than he will ever do. 

If she was so innocent she would have had no reason to fabricate a different accident to save her own skin. 

These families including Brandy need to learn forgiveness. Their hearts will never be right and they will never have any closure to this without it..it is to help themselves.. 

Someone needs to help them. It has been almost 4 yeras and they are so bitter, and angry..these families are doomed unless they can forgive. These families give me the impression they are barely treading water... 

 My heart goes out to both of these families who are suffering.  I cannot judge-  God, Brandi, and Daniel are the only ones who know the truth. I  do feel that 12 years is too much time for  such a young girl to serve, yes she took a life but was it really premediated?  I hope that there is some kind of appeal.  It just seems to be there is not enough proof that she did this on purpose.  As I sat in front of the television in tears, my husband walked in, listened to the rest of the program and the first  thing he said was "It sounds like suicide to me. If he really was threatening to take his own life, what would stop him from jumping out in front of the car?"  I dont know what to think of his comment.  I also think that maybe he was trying to stop her by  jumping out in front of her.  I was once young and in love and had done some stupid things myself.

As for both families, they need to forgive and move on.  Have some faith in God.  It is horrible to see them destroy  their own lives.  I cannot imagine what either family is going through because I have not experienced such  a thing, but  they are all only going to live in misery if they dont learn to let go.
Dr. Phil, I hope maybe you can help them .