I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who is 15, also a cheerleader, also a great student. Recently she had a relationship with a mentally abusive young man. All of the experiences she lived through began to change who she was. Her exboyfriend also threatened to kill himself. If he would have threatened to kill her she would have said, "Oh, he wouldn't do that." She believed in the good part of this boy, tried to break up with him without hurting him more than she had to, but he wouldn't leave her alone. His parents also harrassed us (her mother and father), sent us terrible emails about how evil our daughter was. Before this, we truly believed it was up to us to let our daughter live and make mistakes and learn by her actions. We did not interfere until three weeks ago. After it seemed our daughter would never be able to get this boy out of her life and he would forever threaten crazy things, we stepped in and told the boy we forbid our daughter to speak to him on the phone or in person. We also contacted the school to let them know what was going on. I spoke to my parents who live about 4 hours away and told her if I could not stop this relationship we would need to send our daughter to live with my parents, luckily they agreed and offered their support.
This is our only child, she is everything fun and bright to us. We have all dedicated ourselves to her becoming a productive and happy adult with a calm disposition. I was so scared by this boy's behavior and his parent's support of his skewed views I was completely ready to pack her bags to protect her from her own bad decisions and her own inability to get out of a bad relationship.
Some may look at Brandy and think she made a bad decision. She was not experienced enough to handle the pressure she was under. She did not have the neccessary tools at her disposal to remove herself from Daniel. His mother Sheila, clearly has an agenda, but I can't figure out what she has to gain by continuing to keep Brandy behind bars. Sheila admits nothing wrong in her son's behavior. She didn't seem to know much about the past, only spoke of the accident and kept repeating over and over, "You have your child, my son is dead, I will never get to see him..." Which I understand would be an issue, but if she had some sympathy for Brandy, then I would have had some sympathy for Sheila. As it came across on the show, Sheila seemed like a drama queen bent on continuing the miserable life she has had, and blaming all of her misery on Brandy. I don't believe Sheila knew much about the relationship between Daniel and Brandy, and even if she knew he was emotionally and/or physically abusive to Brandy, I think she would have said it was Brandy's fault, not Daniel's. I believe this with all my heart because of my own experiences with my own daughter's boyfriend's family. He threatened to kill us but it was my daughter's fault because she tried to break up with him.
I believe that victims of crimes are not always without responsibility. I do not think Daniel was completely innocent, and run down visciously by a crazy devil-girl. I think he was in an erratic frame of mind because he had vested himself so totally in keeping Brandy as his girlfriend. I think if he could see everyone now, his mother consumed with hate and Brandy behind bars, he would step up and admit the mistakes he made, his actions piled one on top of the other that led up to his demise.
Brandy does not have to give up her life for one mistake. Our judicial system is not built that way, nor should it be. Sheila wants compensation for Daniel's death, but she is not getting it, and she will never be happy. If Brandy had gotten the death penalty, it wouldn't have been enough for Sheila. She would have been sitting in the front row watching the sentence be carried out, then after it was over she would have realized that it didn't help her at all.
If Sheila and Brandy both die today which one do you think would have a chance to go to heaven? The one who's sorry or the one who cares only about herself? Which is which?
(Original Air Date: 10/13/05) In a heartbeat, your entire life can change. No one knows this better than the families of Brandi and Daniel. Seventeen-year-old Brandi was a cheerleader, an excellent student and an all-American girl. She was in love with athletic 18-year old Daniel. Now he’s dead and she finds herself behind bars serving a 12-year sentence, all because of what happened in just a split second. Was it murder or simply a horrific accident? Hear members of both families describe how the tragedy unfolded, and the struggle to put together the pieces of their shattered lives. Plus, Dr. Phil visits Brandi in prison to ask some very hard questions. She has an emotional message for Daniel's mother -- and for Daniel. Talk about the show here.
