Today's show left many questions unanswered. Unfortunately, questions about what really happened that night can only be answered in small fragments that are tainted with each parties biases, beliefs, and desires. These families will never learn the whole truth because they are only willing to accept the partial truths that fit into what they want to hear and what they want to believe. Both sides immediately dismiss anything that doesn't fit their predetermined judgment.
So where do they go from here. Frist, Brandi's family needs to come to the realization that Brandi is not the victim here. Brandi made many mistakes that evening from sneaking out of the house with the car keys, to leaving the scene of an accident, to fabircating a story when she got home. She also made a huge mistake in court by agreeing to a plea agreement with a last minute change that she did not understand.
As to the last mistake, she may have some recourse. The action by her attorney may allow the possibility to appeal her sentence and her plea. It definitely sounds as though her attorney's actions provide grounds for a malpractice suit. Instead of Brandi's family wasting their energies in blaming society, they should look at their legal options to correct the situation as best as possible.
Daniel's family has no options to correct their loss. They do, however, have every option as to how they view and deal with their lost. I have never lost a child, so I won't pretend that I could understand Daniel's family's pain. I can not imagine any loss in life greater than that of a parent losing a child.
Although I have never lost a child, I have witnessed many parents that have. In fact, this evening I will be attending a funeral for a 14 year old friend of my children who tradictally decided to take his own life with a gun in his home the other night. His parents too will live the rest of their lives with so many questions unanswered.
But the story I would like to share with Daniel's family is one that I experienced when I was a little older than Daniel. My 21 year old childhood friend was killed in a car accident when a tie-rod broke causing the car he was riding in to swear off the road and roll several times down an embankment. His parents were divorced. Both of his parents loved him very much but both handled his death very differently.
His father acted very much like Daniel's family. He dwelled on what he lost. He dwelled on the fact that he was unable to watch his son graduate from college, attend his son's wedding, and hold his son's children. My friend's mother, though equally hurt by the lost, focused instead on the gift that she had for the last 21 years. She appreciated having the opportunity to share her love with her son while he was alive. She appreciated all that he had given her and refused to dwell on what was taken away.
Yes, Daniel's family will not be able to see Daniel graduate high school, attend his wedding, or hold his children. But they would also not be able to do those things if he had never been born. I think Lorretta Swift's character in Mash (Margarette Houlihan) said it best when she said, "You have so much to miss because you were given so much to begin with".
(Original Air Date: 10/13/05) In a heartbeat, your entire life can change. No one knows this better than the families of Brandi and Daniel. Seventeen-year-old Brandi was a cheerleader, an excellent student and an all-American girl. She was in love with athletic 18-year old Daniel. Now he’s dead and she finds herself behind bars serving a 12-year sentence, all because of what happened in just a split second. Was it murder or simply a horrific accident? Hear members of both families describe how the tragedy unfolded, and the struggle to put together the pieces of their shattered lives. Plus, Dr. Phil visits Brandi in prison to ask some very hard questions. She has an emotional message for Daniel's mother -- and for Daniel. Talk about the show here.
