My heart goes out to the mother who lost her son. My heart goes out to the parents of the girl who was convicted of the other childs death. As the girl has been processed by the judicial system - she has been judged, we do not need to keep judging her. She will live with this experience for the rest of her life.
I lost a son fifteen years ago. I beat myself for his death over a six to seven year period. I was angry, and avoided people because I knew I I truely believed it was wrong he had been taken from me. I had two other children but, he was my youngest. The day of his death my mother told me, "remember, you have two other children who need you". A woman at work said to me a few weeks later that God took him from me to protect me. I became angered because children are innocent and should never die. In the end, I realized, none of us ever expect to lose a child.
One day a friend who's life I dropped in and out of said , "Have you stopped beating yourself for his death, you know, it is time". The day I let go, a ton of weight was removed from shoulders. I look back at those years and now see how selfish I was. My sons soul could not rest because I was angry holding on to him trying to reason why it was not his time to go. Yes, I know he will never graduate high school or college, get married, give me grandbabies, but I have two other loving children who will do some, if not all, of these thing. These children were so strong during my selfish pain. To this day, they are the most giving people I have ever known. I wonder how I kept myself from making them angry people too.
To both parents, don't allow the children you have at home to become filled with the anger and discontent you are feeling for you lost child. The children living in your home ought to be happy - they will have a life time to deal with anger and discontent as adults, don't encourage bitterness and keep your children beautiful for as long as you can.
(Original Air Date: 10/13/05) In a heartbeat, your entire life can change. No one knows this better than the families of Brandi and Daniel. Seventeen-year-old Brandi was a cheerleader, an excellent student and an all-American girl. She was in love with athletic 18-year old Daniel. Now he’s dead and she finds herself behind bars serving a 12-year sentence, all because of what happened in just a split second. Was it murder or simply a horrific accident? Hear members of both families describe how the tragedy unfolded, and the struggle to put together the pieces of their shattered lives. Plus, Dr. Phil visits Brandi in prison to ask some very hard questions. She has an emotional message for Daniel's mother -- and for Daniel. Talk about the show here.
