Topic : 03/16 Cheerleader Scandal

You have no idea what was going on in side her 17 year old head I'm sure she was scared out of her mind.  Think of what you what have done in her case but you can't because you probably have never been there and if you have been it is different for EVERYONE and she was just doing what her attorney told her was the best thing for her to do and again that is different for EVERYONE. 

I am so sorry for the pain that both families are going through. I had a sister in law that was killed in an accident and we experienced the anger and dissappointment that the driver was never truly held accountable. 

Regardless of how this happened, the fact is Brandi WAS driving when Daniel was hit and killed. She must pay for the crime to understand that she will in life be held accountable for decisions she will make in life. We learn from our mistakes but just because she said sorry doesn't not (and should not) release her from punishment.  

However, hate and anger does not breed anything else but more problems. Both of these families have to forgive each other, to help themselves. I am not saying forget, I would never propose they forget Daniel. But if they don't let go of this anger and resentment, it will eat them. 

Daniels sister sat with a scowl on her face, her anger is affecting her looks. She is a pretty girl. But if she never smiles again, we will never have the opportunity to appreciate her smile. This will destroy her chance of ever living happily. Sadness and anger is also horrible for the heart and body. Depression literally takes years off our lives!  

Brandi's family has no right to be angry with anyone but her. She made bad choices that got her here. She has no pay for those choices. It is not Daniels fault, he didn't have 2000 lbs of steel to protect him. It's also not his family's fault. If her parents should be anything it should be apologetic. I would be mortified if my daughter created this huge lie to cover up that she ran someone over. She created a HUGE mess for herself and I know she's young but she will learn to deal with this and she has the blessing of continued life. She is not the victim.  

I think if they could just let go, it was a horrible tragedy. Daniels life was taken, but everyone else's life goes on and he would not want all this anger and hostility to come from his death. I am sure he does not want to witness all this anger between the families and the families ties breaking down. Everyone needs to get selfish and forgive, not to help the other side but to help themselves. They can't even begin to mourn him in a healing way until they forgive.  

God bless both the families! I wish you all the best of luck. 

I understand just how Daniel's family feels. We lost our son in April 27, 2004. Rob and two of his friends were riding motorcycles. My son was going 25 mph to make a turn when his room mate hit him while going 65 mph. The force from lthe hit threw my son off his bike and also caused his chinstrap of his helmet to break.  The cause of death was massive head trauma. When you lose a child, a part of you dies with them. You are so defensive for them. You all of a sudden want to do for them what ever makes you feel better. But, feeling angry, is not it!  I too was very angry. I wanted it to be Ricky that was dead. Rob was a good boy and his friends loved him so much. We were at visitation the night before his funeral, and kids kept comming. We were there for four hours! They too were angry with Ricky. But, anger consumes you. You  never feel good, you are on the defense all of the time. You can't sleep, or do anything but talk about how much you hate the person who did this.  I am a Christian. I had to stop and think one day about something my son had told me when a friend did something to him. It made me so mad  for someone to talk or do wrong to my child. Rob always said, " Just get over it mom."  Those words echoed over and over in my head. It was as if Jesus had said them Himself. We can't heal if we don't forgive as Jesus did. Look what was done to Him!  And He forgave all of them and that's why we are forgiven.  I don't know what anyone does at a time like this without their faith. Rob is in heaven, and I am so happy for him. But the human side of me is sad and angry. Rob would want me to get over it and forget it. Get on with our lives. This young girl had been punished! She has to live with what she had done to your son all of her life! She will never get over it. Prision time will not accomplish anything but satisfy your anger. YOu will feel so much better if you will just forgive her and give her a hug and tell her you love her. It's hard, but after it's over you will feel the feeling of love inside you. And your life will be so much better from that moment on. Think about it.  Jesus died for us. God is our judge. Not we. Let Him be the judge. Enjoy your family. You will never forget Daniel, but, it will be a whole lot easier to cope with his loss! I started listening to a contemporary Christian radio station after his death. It actually helps me day to day. God still performs miracles. Wait and see!!! 

Debbie from NC   

We lost our son-in-law to a car accident. A snow plow driver pulled out in front of him our son-in-law and his car hit ice when he stepped on the break. His car turned to the right and the drivers side of the car hit the back of the snow plow, killing him instantly. The snow plow driver did not even get a day in jail, just a small fine. Now that is heart breaking knowing the man who killed our son-in-law never paid for the crime in the way he should have. I know how the family of Daniel feels because we went through it. They need to remember that God is in control of our lives and HE must have wanted Daniel for a reason. God is a God of forgiveness and you need to forgive this gal and go on with your life. I know how hard it is and will be, but you can not live your life in this hatred all the time. None of us knows how long we will be on this earth, only GOD does. 

I'm having very mixed feelings about this HORRIBLE situation! First and for most, I'd like to say that I have great sympathy for BOTH famililes and I'm very sorry that this has happened!!! 

I really dont know what to believe because both sides seem sketchy & have some shady claims.  

There are definately things in Brandy's statement(s) that dont match up/make sense. For instance, she claims she was in total shock and her mind went blank, but yet, she was able to try & cover up the incident and lie to her parents about what had happened. She also claims that Daniel abused her (could've been physically, verbally or emotionally) and threatened to kill her & her brother (also himself, which I'll discuss in a few), so why in the world would she go to his house late at night, 30 minutes away, by herself??? You'd think if she was afraid of him or that worried, she would bring at least one other person with her! These things dont make sense to me! 

There are also things in Daniel's/his family's case that are sketchy . For example, his sister first said that she was in the house (when daniel & brandy were outside) and then went outside when she heard Daniel getting hit w/ the car, BUT THEN she changed it up & said she seen the whole thing happen! So my question is, which one is it??? It seems to me that the sister may be lying & cant keep her story straight! Also his sister claims that brandy started an agument with daniel & was yelling at him, BUT supposedly someone named Stephanie was also there and had her back to the door & said she couldnt hear what they were saying! So one of them (the sister or stephanie) is lying about the aruging being loud or not loud enough to hear! There are also claims that he had emotional problems and that could be very true.... being 18, having raging hormones, being stressed out and having family issues like not having his mom in his life for 5 years & much more that maybe his family did not know about! Which leads to brandy's claim that daniel threatened to kill himself if she left him and when people want to commit suicide or contemplate it, there's no telling in what they'll do, so it  IS very possible that he was so upset & angry that he wanted to end his life & chose to jump in front of the car!  

Either way, BOTH families lives have been torn upside down & are suffering from this tragic incident! I can understand the anger, the hurt & the need for justice from daniel's family, BUT they need to realize that it was NOT brandy's parents fault for what happened and that they're suffering from this too, maybe not as bad as they are cause they're right, in reality, they still have their daughter but they ARE IN FACT SUFFERING AS WELL!!! As for brandy's parents, I can understand them wanting to desparately prove their daughter's innocence but I do think they could've been a little more sensitve torwards daniel's family..... and to make things clear, NETIHER family had the right to attack the other one, there really was no need for any of it!!! I also believe that brandy WAS remorseful & I think thats amazing considering that she claims he abused her! I know that if my boyfriend was abusing me and something like this happened, I'd be lying if I said that I wasnt a little relieved..... I dont mean to sound harsh, I really dont, but what I do mean is that, I'd definately feel remorse and feel just awful for putting his family through this, but I would also be relieved that the abuse was over! Personally, I think that the case was poorly investigated and that the police need to re-investigate it.... maybe give brandy a lie detector test if that hasnt already been suggested, that way both families will have REAL FACTS & not accusations and IF brandy is guily, then she deserves to be in jail! Then hopefully they all can start the healing process, maybe get some counciling and move on with life! Yes, it'll be really hard, but it's what needs to happen in order to pick up the pieces & be there/around for the rest of their families that need them!!! Bottom line:  whether this was an accident or intentional, both of these families are suffering tremendously and need to deal with the pain within themselves & their family and STOP attacking & blaming each other! Once again, BOTH families have my deepest sympathy! 

Whether or not the death of Daniel was accidental, the only way I think his family will get closure is if Brandi and her family prove they have remorse for his death. Brandi’s family seem to be stuck on the fact that she was the perfect daughter who deserves to have a life outside of prison, rather than the fact that an innocent life was taken. Even though Dr. Phil asked at the end if Brandi felt sorry for what she did, it seemed as if she’s more saddened that she doesn’t have the life she could have had. 

Daniel’s mother is right in the fact that in 9 years Brandi will be out of prison and leading an actual life, but she will never see Daniel live again. Rather than dispute Brandi’s alleged innocence, Brandi’s family would be less fragile or torn apart if they admitted they are truly sorry that their daughter killed Daniel. My heart goes out to Daniel’s family. Brandi’s family is being selfish. Twelve years is not the harshest punishment.  

Bottom line for Brandi and family - just do your time and be done with it! Don is dead & his family won't be satisfied without justice. The court set this at 12 years, which seems reasonable given the situation. She took a life & needs to be punished, but she'll still get out at around 30 years of age - plenty of time to lead a long, valued life. Much better than he ended up with ... 

Provided the jail term is maintained, all involved should be satisfied at that point and get on with their lives. Dragging up this issue, however, just makes closure that much more difficult to attain. If she is released, Don's family will feel adequate incarceration was denied, and they will continue to hold bad feelings. If the original sentence is upheld, they will need to move on with the knowledge Brandi did pay a dear price for her actions, whether the death was intentional or not (if deemed premeditated, she would spend the rest of her life behind bars, so 12 years seems a pittance to have to endure). After all, she did kill him!