I have never written in on a message board “anywhere or participated in any chat rooms”, but because yesterday’s (10/13) story was so compelling, and the public remains so naïve and vacant, I had to give my input. Dr. Phil does an exceptional job in trying to make us think outside the box, engage in investigative inquiry/dialogue and not accept things at face value. However, many of us just don’t get it. I believe if Daniel’s family had contacted the show instead of Brandi’s, the tone of responses would have faired differently. Daniel’s family obviously could not articulate their feelings and pain as eloquently as Brandi’s family, but because Daniel was an “alleged bad boy” did not mean his family loved him any less or he wasn’t worthy of living. What about his “twin” brother - who was obviously missing yesterday? Can you imagine what he must be feeling?
Just as Brandi’s story crumbled under Dr. Phil’s questioning (which I though was fair and impartial by the way), I think she would have had a hard time convincing a jury, which is why she (and her family) settled for a plea bargain.
To keep saying that Brandi wouldn’t kill some one intentionally is bogus. None of us are “free” from the throes of stupidity and irrationality in an intense “wrong” moment. If Brandi had been the great person/student as the family described, why would she steer in the direction of someone with Daniel’s alleged “bad” character? Why would she stay? Why would the parents allow it? Perhaps, something in Brandi’s sinister and clandestine character drew her to him. If she was so “afraid” of him, why did she steal her father’s keys in the middle of the night and drive to his house (alone) to confront him (oh, and didn’t she go back because she forgot something??).
Brandi had a loving family. She did not come from a broken home. As a daddy’s girl and an ideal student, why couldn’t her parents have been persistent in seeking police protection? Brandi took the law into her own hands, and now she must suffer the consequences. Even if she is forced to serve her 12 year sentence, she will be in her thirties when released, and can move forward. On the other hand, in 12 years from now, Daniel can only hope to still be a memory in his family discussions, and pray that his family keep moving the weeds growing in the 6 feet of dirt hovering over his decomposed remains.
No one wants their child dead, and no one wants their child in jail, but if we forgave all accidents that ended up in death, some people would have countless, sorrowful “accidental deaths.”
I know that Dr. Phil is too loving and professional to say what I am about to say. Brandi’s actions following Daniel’s death represented clarity and self-preservation - not confusion. Obviously, the defense attorneys found little credibility in her story, as well. The bogus statement she made regarding her “paid” attorney being assigned to another case by the judge made less sense. Then, when Brandi stated that the new attorney changed the documents at the last minute and she signed them, knowing that what she was signing was false and had changed made her sound more foolish. How could she be so smart and so dumb at the same time? I think she should stay in jail until she accepts the truth, or she won’t learn anything from this sad situation.
Yes, for their sake, I think Daniel’s family should pray for forgiving hearts so they can begin the healing process. Brandi's parents are guilt ridden because they are wondering where they went wrong (which is understandable). It's time for them to accept the fact that Brandi was wrong. As a family, they should pray for forgiveness of themselves (individually and collectively) for feeling like they have failed their daughter (sister). Brandi’s family should be focusing on helping their daughter realize that she could have made a better decision, and preparing her to reintegrate into a society that is getting progressively worse and making the right decision is even more important tomorrow than it is today and was yesterday. They should also seek counseling to build their strength so they can be Brandi’s support system and not an external liability. Then maybe they can help Brandi learn how to forgive herself and focus on God’s direction in her life. They can make Brandi know that they are a stronger family for what they have been through and together, and as a family, they will seek God’s direction on this learning path. Brandi has another opportunity to make responsible contributions to our society. Daniel, whatever his faults had no opportunity for remption and forgiveness. His life was whisked away in a painful flash, and I pray for forgveness of his soul. Brandi's parents should also work to seek forgiveness from Daniel’s family because no matter who Daniel was, Brandi entered into his world of her freewill.
As parents, we must be proactive participants in our children's lives and whether they like it or not, we do have a say so in who their friends are. Communicate with your children daily and from childhood to adulthood, they must know that as long as you are their primary source of financial support (caretaker), you must have some input in the decisons they make. Always reassure them, that your input is ONLY "in the name of love", and GOD holds you "us" responsible for their well-being.
(Original Air Date: 10/13/05) In a heartbeat, your entire life can change. No one knows this better than the families of Brandi and Daniel. Seventeen-year-old Brandi was a cheerleader, an excellent student and an all-American girl. She was in love with athletic 18-year old Daniel. Now he’s dead and she finds herself behind bars serving a 12-year sentence, all because of what happened in just a split second. Was it murder or simply a horrific accident? Hear members of both families describe how the tragedy unfolded, and the struggle to put together the pieces of their shattered lives. Plus, Dr. Phil visits Brandi in prison to ask some very hard questions. She has an emotional message for Daniel's mother -- and for Daniel. Talk about the show here.
