As I watched the show Friday, I could see my life thru each of the three guests. First of all, I spent my entire childhood being abused by my mother. She beat the hell out of me everyday ... from head to toe and with anything she could find in her reach. I only fought back once in all those years and that was the day I found the courage to walk out of her house. She had me on my bed choking me to death and I literally saw my life flashing in front of me. I knew if I didn't do something, I would die right then and there. I hauled off and knocked her across the room on top of my dresser. I left not knowing where I was going or how I would make it, I just knew I would. I have NEVER understood why she treated me the way she did. I have one half brother and she never treated him this way. He stood by and watched what I was going thru and begged her to stop everytime, but she always told him "shut up or I'll beat her harder and if you ever tell anyone, I'll beat you, too". To this day, he denies ever seeing anything happening to me and is spending his life right now in prison for various issues. I always thought she had mental issues, and so did others in the family, but according to her, there was NOTHING wrong. She not only physically abused me, but I lived the mental / emotional abuse. I was called every name in the book, I was told repeatedly what a loser I am, how ugly I am, how no one will ever want me, etc., etc. After hearing it "all" for so many years, I've spent the rest of my life believing it ( I'm 38). I have never been able to let go of the abuse. I do not know how and definitely cannot afford counseling, which I finally am at a point in my life that I'm ready to have. My mother died from a heart attack almost 2 years ago and her last words to me were "go to hell". She blew up at me that summer before her heart attack and said those words to me and slammed the phone down. I received a call early in the morning at the end of December that she was in ICU in a coma. I put all harsh feelings aside and drove to be by her side. I went back and forth for 3 weeks watching her hooked up to every machine they had. I talked to her, I prayed for her and I cried my heart out. I told her that I forgave her for all she put me thru, even though I don't think I really have. I just do not know how to let go of the pain and anger. She died the day before my oldest son's 10th birthday ... with everything between us still unsettled. She went to her grave still saying and believing that she never hurt me in any way. What's even sadder to me is that everyone in my family knew it was happening and NO ONE helped me out of the situation. I'm still trying to deal with that issue, but I get all sorts of different stories from different people. Basically, no one cared enough to want to raise me, so they let me live in hell. Anyway, I went on to put myself thru college and afterwards got married. That marriage lasted 9 years and I had two wonderful boys from it. It ended in 2000 and, once again, my life started going to hell again. I swore I'd never re-marry, but I did in August, 2001. It was completely stupid on my part and I just wish I could go back to the day my divorce was final in 2000 and start over. The guy I married is an alcoholic, but I never knew that until after "I do". He kept it well hidden. Two days before we married, I lost my job (which I still think he had something to do with). It took me 8 months to find another one. I lived in shear misery with him for one year and left. I moved to an apt. knowing good and well that he'd come looking for me. He did and has been back and forth more times than I can count. I keep giving in to him thinking that there may still be some chance of hope that things will eventually work out. He keeps giving up and running back to the alcohol. When he's drinking, I'm called every name in the book and talked to so harsh and hateful. It almost makes me wonder if he took lessons from my mother. I have forgiven him over and over and over and .... it just never changes. This has gone on for 4 years now and I just don't know how to let go. I guess I should be thankful that he never abused me physically. I've never loved a man ( the person he really is when he's not drunk ) like I have him and he is capable of showing and giving me love I've never known. I guess that would have to be why I don't know how to let go. I'm afraid I'll never feel love again and, maybe, deep inside, I'm trying to prove my mother wrong. So, just as a few examples of what I've been thru in just the past 4 years ... I've lost custody of my boys, I've lost 2 jobs ( which I am now unemployed and have been for 6 1/2 months and can't find a job to save my life ), I lost my car ( because he made me feel sorry for him when he didn't have the money to pay his bills because he wouldn't get off his sorry ass and work, so I neglected mine and paid his ), I have married and divorced him, not once, but twice, in the past 4 years believing all the mumbo jumbo crap that he would give me the world and things would eventually work out, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. So, in a nutshell, I've spent my entire life in abuse of some kind and I do not know how to get away from it. I have been suffering from depression for about 7 years now and can't seem to get away from that, either. I know that I need professional counseling, but like I stated earlier, it takes money and that's the last thing I can afford without a job. It is so hard to pick myself up everyday and keep going, but I think of my children and I find the strength. I used to be a very strong person inside, but somewhere along the way, I lost it. That and prayers is what got me thru my childhood. I never knew, until I watched the show on Friday, 10/14/05, that anyone has been thru the ordeals I've been thru. Our stories had differences, but I have lived a part of each of those women's lives. I guess maybe this is my chance to vent, so if you're reading this, I know it's depressing, but it is the way things have been for me. If just one person reads this and it helps, in any way, then it will have been worth the time I spent spilling my guts. Thank you.
How do you know when it's time to kick that relationship to the curb? Dr. Phil's first guest is four months pregnant with her boyfriend's baby. He wants her to leave him alone, and she wants to know if she should let go of the relationship.What does Dr. Phil think? Next, Dr. Phil follows-up with two women whose marriages were in crisis. Sheila's husband, Steve, was a raging alcoholic. She would beat him when he was drunk, almost killing him. Did she take Dr. Phil's advice? And where is Steve now? Then, Michelle was living a cycle of abuse at the hands of her husband. Did she finally say, "No more," to the violence? Dr. Phil has advice for knowing when it's time to get out. Can you relate? Share your story.
...I am saddened that in 2005, it is still considered by some that procreation is primarily a woman's responsibility...While it is a good idea to protect oneself if a child is not wanted, there are those women who cannot for one reason or another obtain or use birth control. 
