Topic : 03/08 Stalking the Stars

Well, if it makes a difference I'm over obsessed with Amy Lee (( Lead Singer of Evanescence)). At first I thought it was the band I had my heart set on knowing everything about, but it's mainly Amy. Posters, CDs, I have a shrine right next to my window with all three albums on stands! I even keep them dusted. I have books, and I'm only interested in the quotes that Amy has contributed. I got for the look as well, even though it's mainly just a stage look. Make-up I even tried to grow my hair down to my butt, and pale my face with make-up. I'm on a diet to get as thin as her --;  

I've taken the clothes into consideration as well, geez a lou! Boots everything! I've spent entire paychecks on a wardrobe...JUST TO LOOK LIKE HER. I've practiced singing like her, and I know more about her then most Evanescence fans. What's even worse, I know her birthday and actually celebrate it, know her age, and I even know where she's currently living --; I also know her height...ect...I know I'm obsessed and what scares me is I don't even care. o.o  

When I saw the preview for this show I seriously almost fell out of my chair.  I have been a fan of Mary-Kate my whole life.  When I came to college I became even more obsessed with her, which was the time when my eating problems really began to get out of control.  Before this, in my junior year of high school, I stopped eating and purged what I did eat, to drop weight.  Once I was down to about 115 I ate again.  However, once in college, the more I saw Mary- Kate the more I really wanted to be like her. She's famous and can do and meet anyone. She can even hire people to make sure she doesn't eat if she wants to.  She doesn't have to worry about money and growing up to get a job. I am 5'5", but my weight gain/loss pattern has stayed consistent with Mary- Kate's.  When she was at her lowest, so was I.  I weighed 70 some pounds last year, and I am now 90.  I gained because I thought it was for  the best, but it's not. I'm so miserable. I feel like a huge blimp.  I feel that I no longer look innocent. My stress about growing up and being in my junior year of college scared me so bad I cry every night.  I am a very nervous person, and I just want to die.  I generally gain in the summer, which I have, and now I have to start losing just like Mk is doing.  I hate myself regardless of my weight, but at a lower weight people notice me and like me a whole lot more.  Then I look sweet and perfect.  I want to meet MK so bad; I want to know is she's still anorexic, and if not how she gets through life now without it.   I know I need to quit this, but I have no other purpose in life right now. I feel that the people I know are disappointed in me when I gain. 

I read your post & got thinking...  What the heck is the matter with people???  I know many people who are inspired by celebrities & who envy them but to WANT TO BE THEM!!!  I'm sorry but C'mon. 

They have the looks, they have the money, they have all the glam & glory but have you ever noticed the one thing they haven't got that we common people can have with just a little work???  True happiness!!! 

Seriously.  They put on the happy act for the cameras because they have to.  Otherwise it's broadcast all over the globe that their lives aren't so perfect.  Some of them capitalize on that these days, just like some capitalize on having kids, some on being just plain stupid...  Yeah there might be a little talent still out there but the whole industry is more nonsense than talent.  Splitting & getting back together, cheating, broadcasting their private lives...  Gimme a break!!!  Anything to keep their faces in the mags & on the news. 

Those people aren't truly happy.  That's why they keep losing weight that isn't even there.  That's why they drink & do drugs.  That's why it's a big deal when something bad happens in their life.  They make millions off their "supposed" problems. 

It might just be me but I'd be absolutely embarassedif the world knew my problems the way we know theirs.  If they think it's ok to turn these things into a worldwide share & make money off it then go for it.   

The thing is...  We're not them.  No matter how sick we make ourselves, no matter how hard we try...  They've already been established for whatever reason they're so famous.  The world doesn't need anymore Jessica Simpson's or Britney Spears' or Jennifer Anistons etc. etc. etc. 

Why not just be happy with who you are???  You can be who you want in life without having to nearly kill yourself over trying to be someone you can never be.   

Take care of YOU girl!!!  Get help, get well & be happy with who you are!!! 

I would be horrified if someone, or a whole slew of someones, was following my every move trying to get a picture of me or my family to worship or sell to some sleazy magazine. I think that celebrities who have a problem with stalkarazzi's should all get together and pay other people to give the stalkarazzi's a bit of their own medicine. Take pics of the stalker's private life and send the pictures to all of their friends and relatives, bosses and employees. See how much they enjoy it. 

Then again, that would just be stooping to their level. I guess all any decent person can do to try to stop this horrific business is to refuse to be drawn into watching Entertainment Tonight or buying one of the many entertainment magazines that litter check-out lanes. 

Then there are the people that obsess with celebrity lives. That makes me so sad. Sure, they are drop-dead gorgeous, showered with gifts and praise, living a luxurious life that we can only dream of... but wouldn't you rather make something of your own life than try to be some pale copy of a famous person? I know it is said that mimicry is the highest form of flattery, but geez o petes. The odds are just not in your favor.  

And just look at the people that all the others want to emulate. Many of them inherited that life, or were discovered in extremely rare, chance events. And many of the people everyone wants to be like are so plastic. It's all showbiz and drama and make-up. Why can't we have astrophysics idols, or celebrity botanists? Maybe it's just the geek in me, but I would never give up my life of scientific research for fake body parts, constant pressure to appear perfect in public, and shooting the same scene hundreds of times in hundreds of ways just to get a perfect take. I wouldn't want to be idolized to the point where people cried at the sight of me, always bug me for autographs and interviews, or stalked me because the media has put it into everyone's head that I'm the newest hot thing of the day.  

Learn how to love yourself, for that is the only way you will ever find happiness and be able to pass it on to others.