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Topic : 12/26 "I Am Right!"

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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:44:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 10/18/05) Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Stacey says she and her husband, Eddie, made a plan when they got married -- and it didn't have anything to do with Eddie's current goal of becoming an ultimate fighting champion.  Now she's giving him an ultimatum: "Give up the dream or give up me!“ Then, an entire family faces off against a mother in a debate about the weight of her 8-year-old daughter. Plus, a 30-year-old virgin saving himself for his soul mate wonders if he made the right decision. And, Jylana is determined to home school her son, but her husband, Mike, says he'll miss opportunities and become socially stunted. What does Dr. Phil think? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 16, 2005, 8:35 am CDT

10/18 "I Am Right!"

Quote From: klbolt7

How sad it is that society doesn't view virginity as sacred!!!!!!!!  I am older then 30 and am.  I believe in marriage before having sex.  I was made fun of for many years.  A very special person told me, "That's the way it is suppose to be!"  He was the first person to validate my choice.  A mental health professional said to me, "That is really odd at your age." and quickly changed the subject.  I am very glad I am and if I die a virgin, SO BE IT!!!  That is the way to suppose to be!!!
 I applaud you for your morals!  It's very hard to find such people as yourself in today's society.  It's sad that sex has become such a "casual" thing.  They even have a new comedy movie out called "The 40-year old virgin"!!  It's sad that so many people make jokes about something so sacred.
 
October 16, 2005, 8:40 am CDT

Would you rather be right or be happy?…Dilemma

Would you rather be right or be happy?… This is a powerful question, which on occasions I have trouble with. 

If you have an insight as to something being wrong (not personal, but more with the world), do you try to do something about it (be right) or do you accept it as the way it is (be happy)? 

  

I frequently pray: 

Lord give me the courage to change things I can, 

the humility to accept the things I can not, 

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

  

Unfortunately this prayer does not help me a whole lot, and I find what is wrong with the world frequently flows over to my personal life…..:-( 

  

Does anyone have insights as to what one can do? 

Best Regards, 

 

  

 
October 16, 2005, 9:49 am CDT

Right or Happy

My entire family has always been "RIGHT" about everything.  Yep if you asked anyone of them if they could be wrong the would say "I'm Right,  I know it so do it my way.  If you don't then there is something WRONG with you" 

  

Of course, these same family members have not communicated with each other in over 20  years. These same family members didn't go to any funerals such as our Mother's, Our Father's or Our Sister's.  These same family members are lonely and very much disliked by each other.  These same family members are scared, lonely and of course  NEVER WRONG,  ALWAYS RIGHT. 

  

So like Dr. Phil says  Would you rather be RIGHT OR HAPPY.  You figure it out. 

  

By the way,  I have come to terms with me being the Wrong one.  However, I am happy. 

  

 
October 16, 2005, 11:46 am CDT

Homeschooling

Quote From: nieccee

I had to home school because had two differtent teachers tell me, I was a overly concerned mother and I did not know what I was talking about. My son is a slow learner and was getting beat up and in detention all the time. So I decided to home school and is awsome now.  I also disagree with no social life. I have the whole neighborhood kids almost every day. It is also proven homeschoolers are getting higher education and smarter than the public kids. Because they do get one on one. They can advance at thier own pace.  I don't know what the big thing is with social with all the hatred in schools now. Here where I live it is not safe. We had a third grader bring a loaded gun to school and threatened two brothers. So I would rather keep my kids safe during the day and then have after school sports. Or find clubs that I can be involved for them. My kids love homeschooling because we  get to travel and experience more.
I had to home school my son, Andrew, in Florida starting in the 4th grade. He is now in 9th grade and has NO desire to go high school. They didn't have the right class for him so they put him in a behavioral problem class instead. He is NOT a behavioral problem. School was nothing more than a battle field for him EVERYDAY! The school wanted to lablel Andrew ADD and mentioned medication. There was NO way that was going to happen. We didn't have any problems with our son at home. An inadequate school system was the problem. It's out dated!! My son is what we refer to as an INDIGO CHILD. And to us ADHD just means "already dialed into a higher dimension." This out dated school system does not serve these Indigo kids, they don't know how to deal with them so the school system labels them ADD, ADHD and behavioral problems & over medicates them. Anyone who thinks children get to socialize in school are sadly mistaken. I would visit my son at lunch and the kids weren't even allowed to talk! IN THE LUNCH ROOM!!! Elementary school aged kids not allowed to talk during lunch?? R U kidding me we that?? My son's friends are outside of school not in it. He had to protect himself everyday from someone picking on him, his self esteem was leaving as was his incredible spirit. My son is sensive to energy and the constant negative reinforcement in a class room was overwhelming for him. Some children may thrive in school but my son isn't one of them. I feel because he has been home schooled his self esteem is through the roof, he has a great sense of self which is a great gift at 14! My son meditates, and is into quantum physics, he thinks out side of the box and they don't encourage that in the current school system here. His favorite movie is "What the Bleep do we Know?" about quantum physics and his favorite books are by Dr. Emoto, "The Healing Messages in Water." Home Schooling has been the best gift we have given our son. Public school is NOT ready for kids like my son! C. Jordan
 
October 16, 2005, 5:26 pm CDT

He'll still be "right" when I leave

I'm getting ready to leave my husband because of his need to be right.  Every single day he criticizes me (usually in front of our children) for something he feels I am not capable of doing the "right" way.  I think it's far more harmful for my children to see their father treat their mother in this way and for them to see me so depressed and afraid to be myself than it would be for us to separate.  I've tried counseling; I've tried prayer; I've tried patience.  I just think there's nothing else to do but leave.  His father left his mother for some of the same reasons and my hubby acts just like his mother.  I just wish he would see how it has destroyed our short marriage (< 5 years).
 
October 16, 2005, 6:41 pm CDT

30 yr old virgin-- great job!

Quote From: irishmom

 I applaud you for your morals!  It's very hard to find such people as yourself in today's society.  It's sad that sex has become such a "casual" thing.  They even have a new comedy movie out called "The 40-year old virgin"!!  It's sad that so many people make jokes about something so sacred.
Good for you for wanting to wait for marriage to have sex!  That's the way God planned things & I'm happy to hear that others follow that path too!  I hope you find someone to spend the rest of your life with soon!
 
October 16, 2005, 6:58 pm CDT

10/18 "I Am Right!"

Quote From: merlina777

I had to home school my son, Andrew, in Florida starting in the 4th grade. He is now in 9th grade and has NO desire to go high school. They didn't have the right class for him so they put him in a behavioral problem class instead. He is NOT a behavioral problem. School was nothing more than a battle field for him EVERYDAY! The school wanted to lablel Andrew ADD and mentioned medication. There was NO way that was going to happen. We didn't have any problems with our son at home. An inadequate school system was the problem. It's out dated!! My son is what we refer to as an INDIGO CHILD. And to us ADHD just means "already dialed into a higher dimension." This out dated school system does not serve these Indigo kids, they don't know how to deal with them so the school system labels them ADD, ADHD and behavioral problems & over medicates them. Anyone who thinks children get to socialize in school are sadly mistaken. I would visit my son at lunch and the kids weren't even allowed to talk! IN THE LUNCH ROOM!!! Elementary school aged kids not allowed to talk during lunch?? R U kidding me we that?? My son's friends are outside of school not in it. He had to protect himself everyday from someone picking on him, his self esteem was leaving as was his incredible spirit. My son is sensive to energy and the constant negative reinforcement in a class room was overwhelming for him. Some children may thrive in school but my son isn't one of them. I feel because he has been home schooled his self esteem is through the roof, he has a great sense of self which is a great gift at 14! My son meditates, and is into quantum physics, he thinks out side of the box and they don't encourage that in the current school system here. His favorite movie is "What the Bleep do we Know?" about quantum physics and his favorite books are by Dr. Emoto, "The Healing Messages in Water." Home Schooling has been the best gift we have given our son. Public school is NOT ready for kids like my son! C. Jordan
This touches on the one thing I detest, the trend in dealing with situations out of a persons control by medication. Now given, that sometimes some people can have chemical imbalences and some medication can help with that, more often then not, as in your sons case, it is prescribed irresponsably and without just cause. Now personally I have no children as of yet, but seeing how my neices are and hearing of some rather horrific stories here in the UK as well I would be inclined to teach my children from home, I've seen some very nice and loving kids turned into the nastiest and hateful of brats due to public school peer pressure, and teachers here just can't handle it, they have no discaplinary powers, they can't scold a child without getting an earful of foul language, or worse, threats of violence and even of made up accusations ranging from sexual abuse to physical abuse. I would rather, when I find a woman who'll accept me for me and I get kids, I would rather be safe in the knowledge that they have had the best education possable for them in the safest environment, and learned some decent values that will at least give us some hope for the future, because when I open a newspaper, I feel like crying.
 
October 16, 2005, 7:06 pm CDT

10/18 "I Am Right!"

Quote From: blueangel777

How sad it is that society doesn't view virginity as sacred!!!!!!!!  I am older then 30 and am.  I believe in marriage before having sex.  I was made fun of for many years.  A very special person told me, "That's the way it is suppose to be!"  He was the first person to validate my choice.  A mental health professional said to me, "That is really odd at your age." and quickly changed the subject.  I am very glad I am and if I die a virgin, SO BE IT!!!  That is the way to suppose to be!!!
 Now, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Even though I lost my virginity when I was a lot younger, too young really but eh, sometimes we do stupid, stupid things as people. If you are not ready, nor have you met anyone who you feel ready with, then the worst thing in the world you can do is sacrifice something that means so much to you mentally and spiritially, personally, I'd give anything to be a virgin again believe it or not.
 
October 16, 2005, 7:16 pm CDT

i anm right

Quote From: irishmom

 I applaud you for your morals!  It's very hard to find such people as yourself in today's society.  It's sad that sex has become such a "casual" thing.  They even have a new comedy movie out called "The 40-year old virgin"!!  It's sad that so many people make jokes about something so sacred.
she should let him do his dream. just like he should let her do her dream. you only get one chance to do your dream. they both should be right. it's not one person only. thing's don't work that way at all. every body has there's wrong and right's. have to work together, not apart.
 
October 16, 2005, 7:17 pm CDT

right?happy ro otherwise?

Quote From: casey4

Would you rather be right or be happy?… This is a powerful question, which on occasions I have trouble with. 

If you have an insight as to something being wrong (not personal, but more with the world), do you try to do something about it (be right) or do you accept it as the way it is (be happy)? 

  

I frequently pray: 

Lord give me the courage to change things I can, 

the humility to accept the things I can not, 

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

  

Unfortunately this prayer does not help me a whole lot, and I find what is wrong with the world frequently flows over to my personal life…..:-( 

  

Does anyone have insights as to what one can do? 

Best Regards, 

 

  

I understand what you are saying as I find myself in this predicament pretty often, I try to just do what I think is right. For example my neighbor has a four year old that throws temper tantrums for the attention and she kept asking me if I had any ideas to help her. She is kind of a selfish woman and I didn't want to cause a fight but I said what I thougth would help anyway. I told her that I think her four year old is doing it because she doesn't get ANY positive attention from her mother. I told her to try playing with her more often and She got really upset with me. I knew that would happen but I thought the child was more important. I don't think it is ever easy to try and do what you think is right. But if nobody tried then where would we be?
 
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