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Topic : 12/26 "I Am Right!"

Number of Replies: 374
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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:44:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 10/18/05) Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Stacey says she and her husband, Eddie, made a plan when they got married -- and it didn't have anything to do with Eddie's current goal of becoming an ultimate fighting champion.  Now she's giving him an ultimatum: "Give up the dream or give up me!“ Then, an entire family faces off against a mother in a debate about the weight of her 8-year-old daughter. Plus, a 30-year-old virgin saving himself for his soul mate wonders if he made the right decision. And, Jylana is determined to home school her son, but her husband, Mike, says he'll miss opportunities and become socially stunted. What does Dr. Phil think? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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October 18, 2005, 7:58 am CDT

Don't Cave!

Mark, 

First, I would like to tell you that I esteem you very highly for your decision to remain a virgin until marriage. You are extremely rare in this age we are living in. I beg of you--PLEASE don't second guess your decision and cave in to pressure from others who say that being a virgin is unnatural. It is purity in God's eyes and He will bless you and your marriage if you keep yourself only for your future wife. What a precious gift to give her! 

Second, I would like to tell you about my life experience concerning "soul mates". I am a Christian woman. I believe and try to live according to God's Word. One of the principles in the Bible is for a Christian not to "yoke" him or herself with a person who is not a Christian. With that said, I'll tell you this story. I met what I would call my "soul mate" when was eleven. He was my best friend and I loved him. However, he was not a Christian, so for me to marry him would have been going against God's Word. A sin. So I didn't marry him.  

Part of God's will is His perfect will, which is what He would want us to choose in any given situation. (Because He created us with a free will, He never forces us one way or another concerning decisions in our llives.) Another part of God's will is His permissive will. I would explain it like this: I could be attracted to two different men as a future husband. Both are Christians, both are living lives that are pleasing to God, and either one would be acceptable as a spouse, but God allows me to choose. Either way I decide, it's ok with Him and marrying either man would not be a sin. I ended up choosing a man who is a believer and has now been my husband for 8 years. He wasn't my original "soul mate", but absolutely, without a doubt he is now.  

I wanted to tell you this, hoping that it would encourage you. You may not necessarily know immediately if a woman is your destiny, but she could definitely grow to become your perfect woman. I'm going to start praying for you today. 

 
October 18, 2005, 8:27 am CDT

30 Year Old Virgin

I'm proud of 30 yrear old for waiting and trying to find the right women and staying a virgin. There is nothing better than to save yourself for your lifemate.  To give it away only causes pain and hurt when loosing it to someone who does not really care or love you..  I do feel that she may not be a Sara with blue eyes though!  My husband pursued me and he was everything that I had never dated in looks, actions, or his sweetheart stuff.  Thankfully he never gave up trying to get a date and after I smartly said if you can remember my name, call the operator for my number, and you find me at home I will go out with you.  And guess what?  He was the most beautiful, caring, loving, soul mate, lover, friend, father to our children person.  So if you don't find her take your virginity with you when you leave this earth.  From a person with lots of dates since I lost my husband..if you feel more alone with someone than when you are alone..stay alone until the righrt one shows up. 

From 

I hope he keeps looking for her and asks God to show him!  When I met my husband I had prayed for a good man who would love me and if there wasn't one keep the bad ones out of my life.  I met my husband a few month later.   

Good Luck To Him! 

 
October 18, 2005, 8:40 am CDT

Hope

 I think it is wonderful that Mark has saved his virginity. I hope he will stay strong in his commitment to waiting. I strongly believe that sex belongs in marriage. I believe this for many reasons, personal and religious. I was getting discouraged a while ago and beginning to think I was the only person over 20 that was still a virgin and was committed to saving my self for my spouse. Virginity is a gift that can only be given away once; you can never get it back. That is a gift I will save for my husband, and I pray that my husband has saved that gift for me. I think people need to protect that gift and be proud of respecting themselves enough to save that gift for the person they are going to marry. 

 
October 18, 2005, 8:41 am CDT

HOME SCHOOLING

I have a soon-to-be 16 years old grandson who has been home schooled  most of his life. He is a very intelligent , well rounded and very social young man.  In my area, home school children have many activities that  bring them together for both fun and educational purposes, so "socialization" is not overlooked in their educations.  My grandson went to Japan for 2 months this summer as an exchange student,and was able to stay with the family whos son his family sponsored last year. With the atmosphere found in todays schools and all the accompanying problems, I am one Nana who is very happy with her grandchild's home schooling life style.  I might add that even though many of his friends are not home schooled, it was HIS choice to continue at home rather than attend the local public school, and it's a decision no one has regretted. 

 
October 18, 2005, 8:52 am CDT

Public School

PROBLEMS.  I don't think it is having a problem that is what  the problem is, but that the problem is handled and dealt with.  Last year my teenage daughter had this boy coming up to her in school and annoying her by asking her what color her underwear was.  Now to me: that is something a teenage boy does.  Now when he did this to her best friend, her best friend said:  "You big jerk, shut your face."  And he never said it to her best friend again.  Now my daughter ignored it which he kept doing it until she stood up to him.  Now I think first say stop, then ignore it, then tell the teacher and then a parent calls the teacher until THE PROBLEM is fixed. 
 
October 18, 2005, 9:10 am CDT

Mark's expectations too narrow

If Mark wants to save himself for marriage, that's fine, but he narrowly restricts his "fantasy" woman  according to Hollywood guidelines.  

His soulmate may have passed him up many times in the form of a short, not so thin, brunette with brown eyes. He doesn't give them a chance, nor does he allow himself  time to get to know the other person. He's only looking at the shell. He  has to ask himself, would he like to  be judged by the same critieria? 

 
October 18, 2005, 9:20 am CDT

Why the need to always be "right"?

Quote From: thesmitty

Some people think they're right but they're actually wrong.  If you're right you're right.  If right doesn't mean happy then does wrong mean happy?  If I'm right and she or he is wrong does that mean that I'm unhappy and he or she is happy being wrong?  I'm confused.  Someone please clear this up. 

  

P.S.  If I knew how to save a guys life but someone disagreed with me then do I just keep my mouth shut? 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, that doesn't mean they are always right or wrong.  

People need to listen in order to learn. If partners actually listened to one another, instead of concentrating on forcing our views on others-- they might actually find an alternative they hadn't thought of before.   There's nothing wrong with compromise or actually conceding. 

  

 
October 18, 2005, 9:21 am CDT

30 Yr old Virgin

I remember this guy from University. Although my friend knew him. He always had these cute girls hanging off of him. I remember hearing the rumor of the "letter", I just am in shock! I do comend him for waiting, to be honest I didn't think he was still a virgin, I just think he's silly, there were alot of great girls that he could have gotten to know better, if it weren't for that foolish notion of "Sara", that to be honest I thought was a joke at the time. I used to have all these "high" ideals, and no guy could ever meet the expectations I had, until one day I realized this is silly. I too waited until marriage, and I am with the most wonderful loving man, we have a beautiful daughter and another on the way. My husband is not my original "dream guy", but he's my dream guy now. Good luck Mark (bob). It's hard to let go of something you have believed in for so long, but "Sara" is probably alot different than you think.
 
October 18, 2005, 9:25 am CDT

Bright kids and home schooling

We have children that are very bright  (my daughter was reading chapter books on her own before kindergarten).  They were both bored in the primary grades in the school system because the lessons were geared to average intelligence.  We chose to keep them in school because socializing them is an important issue, but we also enriched their education at home.   

  

I found that different things excited them at different times.  My son was fascinated by numbers very young so he was learning about multiplying and graphs and negative numbers at 4.  My daughter is a very precocious writer and we are working on a novel. There have been times when biology was top (we dissected frogs and pig eyeballs ).  I just grabbed each wave an helped them ride it out. 

  

It is a compromise that has worked well.  My children are normal kids with lots of friends.  They love sports. The teachers tell us that both of them take a leadership role at school which is a good experience for them in the future. 

  

There is more to intelligence than academic performance.  Knowing how to get along with people, how to use self control to cope with tedium and how to independently explore one's interests is at least as important. 

 
October 18, 2005, 9:28 am CDT

Redheads Unite

I can't believe that Dr Phil said,  “What if your soul mate is kind of short and dumpy and redheaded?”    What the heck does that mean.... Redheads of the world unite!!!!! 

 
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