Topic : 12/26 "I Am Right!"

First, I would like to say that I can understand  the married couple's argument about cage fighting. I understand that the sport  can be dangerous. I don't think that the wife's argument is invalid. It IS a dangerous sport. I am into martial arts and I love it, but that is not without a price. I broke my collar bone over 5 months ago doing a simple shoulder roll and I am still trying to get it to heal. I have seen other people break bones as well. However, if  the husband wants to box and fight then he should be allowed to with the understanding that accidents do happen and he CAN get hurt.  I don't know that I personally would want to get my head bashed in while fighting, but that is the couple's business. 

  

Next, to the young man who is a virgin.I say  " Praise the Lord". You stand up for what you believe is right. I think you are doing the right thing by waiting for your soul mate. I also believe that God  WILL lead you to the right person . Maybe it wouldn't hurt to date a little more, but HE is able to bring the right girl to you at the right time. You just keep on trusting. 

  

Last,  I am thankful that Dr. Phil has such a good understanding of homeschooling. I appreciate his response. I do homeschool my daughters who are now in 9th, 8th and 6th grades. We are very socially active and we do have friends to hang out with. There are many advantages to being at home, but there are also downfalls. It just has to be looked at from the situation of the parents. Homeschooling is NOT for everyone. It takes a lot of time, planning and commitment, but I think in the end it will be worth it.  Let me also say, that he is right about teens who need their freedom. We are still homeschooling in the teen years, but I have found that my older girls don't want me tagging along with them at all times.  It all takes balance. 

  

thanks for letting me post my opinions, 

Pennys 

     Not only was I homestaught 10th through 12th grades, and my brothers were homeschooled for a few years, but my Uncle who is a science teacher for a public school has homeschooled all four of his kids. I have a few friends who were homeschooled all of their lives, none of them are weird and they socialize just fine. I plan on homeschooling my son and future kids until they go to college. You can learn a lot  more in homeschool then in public school if you do it correctly. You have that one on one time every day to get all the help you need and it just makes it more personal. You don't go to school to socialize you go to learn. You don't miss out on opportunities, I went to prom, most high school dances, highschool sports games, and other things. There is even a homeschool group in my old neighborhood where you can go and meet people, and even get help if you need it. You can do experiments in homeschool like you can in public school. Homeschooled people can be just as smart as people who go to public school.  

    There are great teacher's in public school's, but the school's are getting to the point where the teacher's can't do a lot of things. I get that information from two of my uncles who are teachers, and from what I can see. They have those stupid reading and other tests that they have to do that they can't spend more time on teaching and focusing on what is really important. So a lot of responsibility goes on the parent's to teach them things anyway.  

     Any where you go there is a risk of getting hurt but you should feel safe at school. I was sheltered even when I was going to public school, so that wasn't the reason when I went to homeschool. I know I don't want my children around a lot of the crap that goes on in public school's, it's not worth it. I mean it will catch up with them when they go out in the real world maybe, but that's when you have to have faith that you taught them right and know that they will do the right thing. Homeschooling is great, and it may or may not be right for everyong, but unless you have tried it and actually know the truth, don't judge. I also get the whole, "they miss out on socializing and they are weird because they didn't go to public school." That is not true, they don't know. I do know because I have been to both Public and Home school's.  

Dr Phil was right on the money with his comments about homeschooling if it is done right. I have homeschooled all four of my daughters. I made a point of having them play city sports and they were involved in community and church functions. My 2 youngest were homeschooled the longest. I did them both from the second grade till the eigth grade. I have watched them grow and change with great interest. I watched my girls be perfectly happy at home but by the eigth grade I could see in them a need to be involved alot more outside of our home. I had a hard time letting them go to school but my daughter has excelled. She was inducted into the National Honor Society, she plays 3 sports a year. She has tried several areas of interest like photography and drama, and she is an accomplished artist. But most importantly she is very well adjusted. She is very much her own person and doesn't let the latest fads or peer pressure move her. In fact she has been a trend setter at her school. She is a senior this year and she was just honored as a volleyball player. Each of the seniors had an opportunity to say something to each other and the most common comment about her was that she was an inspiration to them. My youngest daughter is a freshman this year. She also plays 3 sports a year and is involved in student goverment. Most people are surprised to learn that I homeschooled my kids. The comment I hear most often is"But they are so normal!" I will admit that I know homeschoolers that aren't doing it very well but like Dr. Phil said , if the parents do all the right things and are willing to make the sacrifices and are making sure certain things are done-it is a great thing. If I had to do it over I would have done it sooner. My children are bright, well rounded, creative, kind and compassionate and I know that homeschooling was a huge part of that. I think it is possible to homeschool kids in high school but I personally saw my children's need to have an outside life. But because they were totally grounded in who they are and never lived under peer pressure when they were young , I believe that is why they could enter a high school enviroment and not fall into the trap of peer pressure and in fact now have peers following them.

I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Just about everyone does it wrong but just so you know there are people trying to wait just like you. My daughter is a senior in High school and so far has not had a date. Not because she isn't gorgeous, but because she believes like you that she will be a gift to her husband one day. Lots of boys want to go out with her but she has decided to wait for all of that and enjoy her highschool years and some college before she dates. I know it's hard and after so many years it may feel like it will never happen but alot of times just when we think we can't wait any more, thats when God finally brings the person of your dreams. Don't give up on what God has for you. He's obviously been working on her for a while.

 Agreed! Speaking as a person who was quite "active" before marraige, in looking back I really wish I would have waited also. Mark, You are not missing anything in waiting, except maybe the regrets that could follow once you do meet your true love. I've gotta echo Dr. Phil though, in that it is good to remain open, when it comes to your pre-determined idea of who/what your "perfect love" will be. To assign her personality, physical attributes, and even her NAME..(sorry, just gotta razz you on THAT one! =))  could really hinder your possibilities of finding the right person. Again, speaking from personal experience here, had I only been open toward my "preferences" at the time, my hubby would not have stood a chance with me!  And I would have missed out on a really wonderful person and relationship. (happily married 18 years now!) All of this aside, hang in there! Your "virtuous" standards are a good thing! 

Considering that you did look at your child's needs, and sent them off to high school (which I am sure was probably more difficult for you than for your child!) I can tell that you are one of the "doing it right" parents that Dr. Phil talked about on the show.   I don't have children, but I am a former high school teacher.  I am not completely and totally opposed to homeschooling - especially when the family lives in an area where the schools may not be completely equipped to handle all the students - however, I do think that there are a lot of people who choose to homeschool who (a) choose to do so for the completely wrong reasons or (b) are NOT equipped to do it.    I taught high school and I can tell you that I had some homeschoolers that were just as you described your daughter.  However, a significant number of them didn't just have socialization issues with their peers, but had difficulties with their teachers (not just myself).  One child struggled with the fact that I was NOT going to discuss things from a strictly biblical point of view (he even tried to follow me into the restroom - only because I said one of the 5 basic conflicts in literature was person vs. God/Supreme Being.  He insisted that God is a known, and why would people have conflict?  He couldn't accept that while he might not struggle with his faith, a character in a story might struggle.   He was an extreme example - I found that others struggled with the idea that I could not give them one on one attention that they were clearly used to, or that I didn't teach it exactly how Mom or Dad taught it.    With one student, I asked her to try to wait 5 minutes before she asked me for assistance on a task, OR, if it was a group task, ask her to try to seek assistance from her peers first.  She did eventually get used to it, but it was something I didn't have to do with students who were homeschooled.   

  

I think it boils down to the ones who do it because it is the best thing for their child vs. all schools/school teachers are at fault/bad/inadequate.  

  

I also was wanting Dr. Phil to say something like "you didn't discuss this BEFORE you had your child?" because no matter what, I think both parents need to be committed to and participate in homeschooling. 

First of all, I think mom has her values in the right place, in cultivating self-esteem first! No 8 yr old has any business being on a formal "diet", and honestly, the implication of such..even from well-meaning family members is not productive. I do however, think that lifelong habits are formed while we are young and impressionable, and so if healthy eating habits are learned early on, all the better! But even so, grandma and auntie's critisisms are out of line! Especially if they are ever within earshot of the little girl. Such comments could seriously do irreversable damage to her self image. While it may be easy, to lose a couple of pounds, it is much harder to recover one's self esteem later on in life, or to recover from a life threatening eating disorder one day. I think Dr. Phil hit it on the head, in saying Mom is in the position to provide a good example, and to help promote healthy attitudes when it comes to nutrition, that can last a lifetime. But I do think her heart, and priorities are in the right place...Rock on, Mom! =)

 So Sara,  you blonde haired hometown beauty queen you,  I just have to ask this.    Did you feel any sparks watching Mark on the show?    Did he strike you as someone special you would like to get to know?  Do you happen to live in a Canadian small town or is it a US small town?  

  

 Very curious and wondering... 

  

  

Ive read through the messages and am surprised that 99% of the posts are agreeing with waiting till your 30 (or older) to have sex.  I read one post that told Mark he wasnt missing anything.  tehehe  That just made me giggle!  :D     I would  have to dissagree with that poster.  I would say Mark is missing quite a big something!  LOL 

  

Im with you and have to say in truth I would be more interested in a man who had at least some experience with love (physical or otherwise) as opposed to no experience at all.   I do respect peoples individual choice on the matter,  though.  I just feel different about it is all.   Personally, when I was dating,   I couldnt have cared less if they were or wernt a virgin.    

Is nobody going to rise to defend Florida?  AW.  Here I will.  I actually have high respect for the Bush family and think they are doing the best they can there.  I think there are people under them in position who prevent them from doing the things they want to do and probably should be removed.  Well Florida has beautiful beaches and beautiful shells that wash up on them.  I especially like that orange spray that you find at a Florida gift shop.  But AW it's a crying shame that you can't enjoy these things without having to worry that this crazy stranger is lurking somewhere after you or your kids in broad daylight that you can't enjoy Beautiful Florida without fearing......  Hmmm What is needed to make Florida safe?