Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

My feeling is that there are many homosexuals that feel the need to shove that fact in everyone elses face much the same way a bully sticks out his chest and uses his weight to push you around.  If you say, "Fine, your gay, now let me pass" your bigoted, or homophobic.   I'm straight.  I have gay friends.  I talk about my husband and kids, they talk about their boyfriends and girlfriends. No problem.   

     First I want to thank Dr. Phil for approching this subject on National TV in such a professional and rational manner.  I am a member of PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays).  There needs to be more open and honest discussion on this topic to help educate the public.  There is so much misleading information out there, especially among Fundamentalist Christian groups, of which I was one when my son came out to me.  I was so upset !  I immediately thought he was going to hell and began praying for him.  I also hoped against hope that no one in my small town would find out.  What would they think?  It was my fault ,of course.  It's always the mother's fault.  I had raised him as a single parent.  It had to be my fault.   

     After about a year in one of my many prayers on his behalf.  I cried out to God "Why God, What am I to do with this?  Reject my son?"   God answered in spirit, as he had before in other crisis times in my life.  "Don't reject him.  Love him and try to understand him."  That's when I found PFLAG and my questions began to be answered.    

     I have now found a church which preaches the message that God gave me that night and I know God loves my kids just as they are.   

as he loves all of us as Heterosexuals, even if we may not be perfect.   

     Just a little footnote to this discussion.  The Bible also says many, many times that Gossip and Gluttony are wrong, yet churches commit  those two sins regularly.  Jesus said those were wrong, but he never said anything about homosexuals.  Jesus is who I listen to.  

Why does anyone have to ACCEPT anything?

What about just showing tolerance and love to those we don't agree with? 

Muslims need to learn tolerance, but why should they HAVE to accept anyone's way of life?

I would NEVER go up to, or in a Gay persons home and try to shove my views on them.

It's called *respect* and it goes BOTH WAYS.

It seems to me that now a days, it's the liberal's who have the problems with tolerating the differences in how people chose to live.

If you don’t tow the liberal line..watch out..the bigot word comes out and other names with a phobic attached to it.

I understand that there are Christians that need to learn to be tolerant and respectful toward others, but I see more and more of the hate coming from Liberals than with Christians.

 Why should I as a Christian, have to be forced to deal with rude and disrespectful behavior in public around my children?

Liberals seem to love to make fun of Christians and shove their views on everyone.

The Gay daughter on the show today seems to think that her lifestyle is more important than showing simple respect to her family.  

Her family has boundaries, and they have boundaries that they want to keep up around their young children. If the Gay daughter had kids and didn’t care about raising them with Christian values that is her prerogative, it’s a free country. But she needs to respect her family’s wishes when it comes to their own kids. 

If every time my straight BIKER sister came home with a different lover and dressed with to much skin showing her rude sexual tattoo’s, and using foul language for a visit with my family, around my kids, I would ask very nicely if she could tone it down JUST while she was around my kids..It’s called respect. 

I'm not asking her to change. 

I'm just introducing this as an item to debate; I do not mean to offend anyone .....  

Is it possible that we each are born with different chemical balances, and thus different psychological proclivities, and so each of us encounters during puberty (or earlier, or later) a choice to be made about our sexual identity.  Those of us males whose minds and internal systems are more geared towards feminine interests (up to and including sexual interests) will have a greater struggle having sex with women.  Likewise, women whose minds and bodies are more masculinely-crafted than others will have a harder time fitting into a hetero relationship with a man.  IT IS POSSIBLE, I'm sure, for a feminine man to have a wonderful sexual relationship with a woman, and for a more masculine woman to be with a man.  BUT IMAGINE HOW MANY TIMES IN LIFE WE DECIDE TO LET DOWN OUR DEFENSES AND TO GRAVITATE TOWARDS THOSE INCLINATIONS THAT HAPPEN NATURALLY AND MORE EASILY TO US:  I, for instance, have an inclination to overeat and to avoid any form of exercise.  How many of you suffer from the same thing?  In my busy/crazy life it has been easier to just eat fast food and to skip that evening jog.  Therefore, I've grown bigger and declined in fitness in recent years.  On a more positive note, I'm more inclined to be a writer than a construction worker, and so that's what I've been pursuing as a career interest since I was in third grade; I'm afraid I wouldn't build a very sound structure.  I've known male friends whom I always throught to be effiminate, and so I guess I never expected them to be anything other than homosexual as adults.  Some of these friends embraced this inclination and pursued homosexual affairs.  Others fought it - presumably, overcoming the urge to pursue homosexual relations - and became HAPPILY married.  Some of them, I presume, may divorce one day and enter into homosexual relationship, as an uncle of mine did.  

The bottom line to me is this, we are all dealt different hands of cards, but we must play with that hand dealt us.  I envy the males I know who are so manly that they must never doubt their sexualities.  I don't at all envy (in American society, anyway) those men I know who lack that manliness and must face either internal signals or signals from doubting friends and acquaintances that question their sexual orientations.  I'd place myself somewhere in the middle - that is, I don't have any doubt about what I want out of my relationships, but I'm terribly sympathetic to those who have doubts, weaknesses, and fears about sexuality, and I'm also sympathetic to those who decide that a homosexual relationship comes easiest to them and is MORE ENJOYABLE than a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.  I say, TO EACH HIS OWN, and to me mine.  

I completely agree.  All I could see was yet another person using their sexuality  much like a bully throws their weight around.  I could almost hear it, "If you have a problem with me it must be because I'm a lesbian you homophobe!" There couldn't possibly be something wrong with a new love every other week or something similar. 

 I am straight, but I have gay friends and we talk normal people talk.  We discuss work and hobbies and yes significant others, but they don't use it as a weapon it is just one more part of their lives. 

Hi Netate! 

I watched the show a long time ago, and I remember the sisters.  I think the Lesbian sister had more of a "political" agenda, than a sexual orientation one?  I sure don't go around pushing my political agenda...I sort of think it's in bad taste (more a reflection of my upbringing...neither good nor bad...just instilled in me in a young age...AND I was also taught NOT to discuss religion as well...though being online has changed that) and I *really* would be put off by a sibling who always had their's at the forefront...instead of just "being" together at family gatherings. 

I don't know about you...but gay or straight...I JUST DON'T want to know...LOL  I'm a prude in that regard...truly...I get all uncomfortable when people discuss "their business" gay, straight or otherwise!  LOL 

I just feel badly for anyone who has to put up with crap, though...and good for your nephew for coming out to all of you...and good for you for just "seeing" your nephew!  Thinking of my children's or my nieces or nephew's sexuality gives me the heebie jeebies!  My job is just to love them...I see you know that too!  :o) 

Marie 

Anglican not evangelical.   

Maybe that makes a difference to people maybe it doesn't.   

The one thing I have been taught is that God passes judgment, not his children. we are supposed to love and respect one and other. To do otherwise is a sin.   

I don't think anyone in their right mind would chose to be gay. The ridicule and ostracizing he or she would go through really isn't worth a preference. I do not think people can change their orientation. ...And Yes a person can have sex with a member of the opposite sex even if they are gay. There are people everywhere who have felt the need to suppress who they really are in order to fit into society. I think you can alter your behavior but not your true self. I feel that this is the saddest part of this whole discussion and the root of the problem. I don't think that anyone would feel the need to either further suppress who they are or blatantly flaunt who they are if there was a basic attitude of acceptance in the world. There are, after all more important things to get up in arms about...like poverty, war, famine. disease, crime........  

 I would rather have a child who was a homosexual or a lesbian rather than a drug addict, rapist, or serial killer.   

Homosexuality is not akin to serial killers or rapists. Those are horrible crimes against other people.  Homosexuality is not a crime and it doesn't harm anyone. It is just one of the many variations of humans in God's rainbow.   

A more correct simile would be "I would rather have a child who was overweight, an egghead, underweight, stupid or red-headed. Get it?