Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

When my son was very young he was in the habit of crawling into the shower with my husband or I.  When he was 3 or 4 he came into the bathroom when I was taking a bath and for the first time noticed that I did not have a penis.  I told him I didn't have one and he insisted I was hiding it!  He got his first lesson in sex education.  I explained that some people were girls and that I was a girl and some were boys and his dad was a boy.  I told him he was a boy.  The next day when he went out to play he asked all his friends if they were girls or boys,  He asked the girls to let him "see".  Later he came in with the news,  some of his friends were girls and some were boys. 

   

I was a stay a home mom but later became a kindergarten teacher.  I discovered that most five year olds that are an "only child" or have only same sex siblings refer to other children in the classroom as the same sex as themselves.  A girl refers to all children as she and a boy refers to all children as he. 

   

The parents of the 4 year old boy probably have nothing to be concerned about, they might have the little boy spend more time bonding with dad so he'll want to imitate dad not just mom.  

Good for you working on yourself and thinking about others in the process.  My brother is so conservative his briefs are probably starched, so I know how you feel.  My mother and father are both dead so it's just the two of us and  left.  I was so afraid when I knew it was time to "come out" to him.  He showed up at my house one morning and I knew he was there just because I needed to talk to him.  He is seven years older than I am and has always "known what was best" for me.  I just told him and after a stunned silence he came back with affirmation of the fact that I am an adult and should know best what is right for me.  I knew it was in there because we were raised to love and accept.  I was really thankful at that moment God was with us and helped us deal with the hardest subject in an accepting way.  Since then he has told me he thought I was gay years ago, and then when I was planning my wedding he had concidered talking to me about it but was afraid he might be wrong.  When it came to me I was really surprised and I really fought it.  I am happy now and so are my sons.  My ex-husband is remarried and happy.  I thing even the 2 dogs, 3 cats and tarantula are happy, and it's all because I took the high road and told the truth. 

Good Luck to you.  Use Love and patience and you will be ok. 

  

Barbara 

  

If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it!!  

I had to laugh when I saw the show today... the mother that was so worried about her baby being gay should have met MY son when he was 2 and 3. Not only did he dress in drag, he insisted that he was black. (He wasn't going to be LIKE Michael Jordan, he was going to BE Michael Jordan!) He wore my heels and jewelry all the time, and walked around in aprons. My husband and I always said we gave birth to a little blonde boy, and he was growing up into a big black woman!! haha... There was no use in arguing with him, so we just agreed that being black was cool and being a woman was cool, but being a little white boy was just as cool. We bought him a doll to play with-- a black boy doll-- and encouraged him to nurture his 'baby', but reminded him that he was a good DADDY, and not a mommy. Likewise, we reminded him that not being black was okay, and that not being able to be Michael Jordan was okay, too... just being little Colt was the coolest thing in the world!! (and by the way, he also spent an entire three month period as a puppy!)

Society is a reality not a fantasy, not perfection.  Someone asked "who in their right mind would choose to be gay if they had a choice"....... "I WOULD!!!!"   I am a bisexual female.  Gayness is not an illness.  Oh and no, no one is all of a sudden gay.  Gayness is an internal attraction that someone is born with.   

  

I am not a Christian nor am I of any religion, so from someone on the outside hear this all ye powerful Christians whose ideas are always right and whose religion is perfect (but ironically contradictory):  By telling the young community and the adult community that they have to change their sexuality you are SENTENCING "GOD'S CHILDREN" TO A LIFETIME OF GUILT, SELF HATE, AND DEPRESSION over a part of them that they cannot change and should not have to change.  So you tell me who the real sinner is...  the child who knows what makes them happy and why...   or the child who makes that child hate himself/ herself for life and says they're not right for something everything in their being tells them is right? 

  

So to all of you who think that gayness can be changed... GET REAL.  If you can say in all honesty and certainty that you are strictly straight then you also know that you will never be gay... the same concept applies to the other side of the fence.   

if only more people in this world held your point of view

I have a sister in Christ who, after many heartbreaks caused by men, has chosen to live her life with a woman.  I have been praying and trying to understand how she has come to think that God would bring her and this woman together for a loving and sexual relationship.   I have also struggled with trying not to judge her.  I realize this is not my job and that God will be the only one to judge her when her time comes.  I realized this weekend during a sermon in James, Chapter 2 that calling sin, sin, is not judgement!  Just because I believe the  Bible to be true and therefore believe that homosexuality is wrong, it's OK for me to say homosexuality is a sin!  We are all sinners no matter what our belief's are!  But Grace, God's Grace is a beautiful thing and if we KNOW JESUS and believe that he died on the cross for our sins and rose 3 days later and that He is the son of God, then we are covered by God's Grace.   

  

Now that being said, do we continue to allow a fellow christain to continue living a sinful life? Guess what, God also gave us free will.  And she is a grown woman who can make her own choices.  But as her sister in Christ I can continue to love her, to pray for her and be her friend.  I also have the right to call sin, sin, and if she doesn't like that, she has the right to withdraw from the friendship. 

  

Our job as Christains is to love one another and not judge ourselves or anyone else.  But another important job is to further the Kingdom of God.  We do this with the spiritual gifts God gave us.  Whether that is the gift of evangelism or mercy or hospitality or abstinence, we should be the best christains that we can be so that God's love and light shine through us.   

  

This is a very difficult situation and I have discovered that when you want something bad enough that satan has a way of providing it for you.  I have looked at the homosexual/christain websites and while they are full of satan inspired lies there is enough truth to draw a confused or hurting person in.  This is how satan works.  He puts just enough truth in the recipe to make it sound OK.  If he told nothing but bold face lies, it would be obvious.   I think it's sad that she turns to the internet. not the Bible,  to justify her love.   

  

Lastly,  satan believes in God too, but he won't be going to Heaven.  Jesus is the only  

way! 

That's just ridiculous. For one thing there are many sins to commit, let's hope we don't commit them all! Also, turning from sin is a constant struggle and we will never be perfect. But we do need to call sin what it is and admit that we are in sin and then turn from it. We will always stumble and fall short of the glory of God, but we must ask for God's forgiveness and keep on going. But that doesn't mean you can just give up and give in to sin. If you gave up trying to learn to tie your shoelaces after failing the first few times,  you would still be tripping over your untied shoelaces today. Some things take commitment and struggle but can definately be accomplished, including overcoming sin.

Amen to that!  We all have a right to say its a sin because the bible plainly says so in clear black and white. The homo's have no right saying its not a sin unless they have some proof to back it up!  So who's right here?  The right is homosexual is a sin and all who condone it is just as guilty.

I agree with your assessment Mixer; although I would like to point out a couple differences.   Its true that someone finding out about a heterosexual affair will sting just as much as finding out about a homosexual one.  One difference is that the residual disappointment and hurt of the homo-affair discovery will have the gross knowledge attached to it that maybe that persons entire marriage was a sham.   

  

When discovering a hetero affair, there is still the knowlege that at one point,  the couple (probably)did have an honest, true intimacy.  In discovering that your spouse is homosexual, a person must face that every wink, every bit of loving-making, every nuance of intimacy between them was lacking for his/her partner.   Double-up the devastation when its discovered that the homosexual partner was too fearful or weak to admit his true nature and as a result took many good years away from the straight partner who could've developed a beautiful HONEST relationship with a person who is TRULY intimately connected to them.  

  

Its one thing for a marriage to break down when both partners are/were committed to it.   Its an other thing entirely when one of the partners wasn't real about it in the first place.   

Read what it says. It's on your side!!!!