Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Why is it so hard for so many on this site to understand that not everyone is a christian and not everyone is a born again christian. 

  

I happen to be Native American and am proud of my heritage-- ethnic and spiritual.  My culture doesn't condem people for living how they are made.  We don't believe we own our children-- meaning we can not chose their path for them-- we can only guide them.   

  

 We have nothing in common with fundamentalist christians when it comes to belief systems.  Many in my community have embraced a spirituality (christianity) which DESTROYED our culture and way of life.  It's a very sad thing.  But I suppose when you are confronted with "Convert or die"  many do choose to accept the conquerers way of life. 

  

So, when you all start going on and on about what your god wants from all people of the earth, all I can do is shake my head at your ignorance.  For isn't that what you do when you are confronted with traditions different from your own? 

  

I believe the Earth is the mother of us all, and that we are destroying our mother.  Can't you hear her screams?  But do I tell you SUV driving, 6000 square foot house living, polluting non-bleievers that you our murdering our mother?  Isn't that more important that who someone loves?  No, I don't.  Not generally, anyway. 

  

My tribe has a cultural history of accepting all among us as brothers and sisters.  Including those who do not fit into traditional gender roles.  Including those who are attracted to those of the same sex.  It's all around us on mother earth.  All mammal species show same sex attraction.  While it is not the norm, it is not unnatural. 

  

You do not get the right, because you call yourself a christian to comdemn people who believe other than you do.  And you sure don't get the right to make the laws that affect us all according to your religion. 

  

You surely do not have the right to impose self-hatred and self-loathing on people being true to their born selves. 

  

I'm so thankful I live in a part of the country where I do not have people like the visitors on this board trying to convert me to their religion. 

  

And all of this judgement day stuff is a little confusing.  I remember that less than 20 years ago, that kind of reasoning was only used by doomsday cultists like Jim Jones or David Koresh.  It's frightening to me how many seemingly sane Americans have fallen into the doomsday cult mentality. 

  

I could really get into the jesus rhetoric if more pople who claimed to be christians quoted the Sermon on the Mount insteas of leviticus. 

  

I am not gay, but I have had the pleasure of knowing many gays, lesbians and transgendered people throughout my lifetime.  I am the richer in spirit for it. 

  

And I almost for got.  For those illogical people who claim that god doesn't make mistakes?  What about people born transgendered?  In  the US, the birth rate of people with ambigous genitalia (intersex) is about 2% of live births.  So those people are not mistakes?  I don't believe they are and according to your logic, you shouldn't, either.  But then that doesn't fit your worldview of two genders and strict gender based societal roles. 

  

I long for the day we all get past out superstitious knee jerk reactions to those who are different.  I am hopeful though.  It was only a little over a hundred years ago that the official US government position on my people was 'the only good indian is a dead indian.' 

  

Maybe someday the attitudes I'm seeing here toward those who are gay/lebian/bisexual/intersex/transgendered are just as abhored by mainstream society. 

  

I might have to do some prostelytizing of my own, if I had to face this type of self-righteousness on a daily basis. 

 Can someone explain to me how a fifty year old woman with grown (well adjusted children) can turn gay after being married to a guy for 15 years?

  Well, here I sit at home, watching Dr. Phil....and todays show is something I can relate to. I am 19 years old and about 5 years ago, my father told me that he and my mother were going to get divorced.  We were the church going, happy, picture perfect family. At first, my dad never gave us (myself and 2 other siblings) a reason as to why they had decided to separate. However, 3 months later my dad came back home and told us. It was because he's gay. Now this was a complete shock for us kids, we had no idea. My mother on the other hand, knew for quite a few years, probably 3 years after they were married (they were married for 18 years total) but they had gone to therapists and psychologists, and tried to work through this. My dad never wanted to be gay. He wanted the wife and kids and a normal life. So he pretended and ignored his "nature" for the better part of his life. Growing up, he had never engaged in homosexual activities but said he knew he was gay ever since he hit puberty. Today, my father is happy, he's himself. And thats what counts. I'm happy for him and his partner because they're happy and no longer feel ashamed or something because homosexuality isn't the norm. 

    I couldn't imagine pretending for so many years and living a lie, just to please society and everyone else but myself. Ultimately only YOU are going to live your life, so live it on purpose and live it to the max, its up to you whether you make it a happy one or not! I don't think being gay is a "choice". Nor do I think its a "birth defect" or something like that. Its just the way some people are. You are who you are, so live it and love it. 

    Thats just my 2 cents... 

My uncle got married and fathered 2 children to live up to societys picture of how he should be.  He was miserable!!!  He finally came out, he and my aunt got divorced and remained the best of friends.  He met his soul mate and I never show him happier.  I wholeheartedly agree with "You are who you are, so live and love it"!!

Dr. Phil, 

As the mother of a gay son, I feel my son is still my son, we love him, and God loves him, that is all that matters.  If the rest of society has a problem with it, that is their problem.  I feel gays are misunderstood.  My son has openly brought home his mates, most of them we did not like to their tempers and anger management issues.  Well, he is with another mate right now, and I love him like a son.  I will admit at first it is a very hard thing to deal with, but I understand that this is not a choice.   As for the lesbian woman and her sister on your show, the mother and sister are not trying to understand where this woman is coming from.  I understand the mother and sister are hurting, but the woman is hurting also.   Some of the sweetest people I have met are gay, they are the same as anyone else, their sexual preferences are just different.  I feel there need to be more shows about this subject, you can not possibly cover everything on this subject in one show.  Thank you Dr. Phil for talking about this subject. 

The majority of those claiming to follow Jesus Christ are lying to themselves as they continue to claim some type of "authority" to judge others based on their own interpretation of the Holy Bible.  Their dangerous theology is believing themselves judges of others.  

As humans, we are losing ourselves in judgement and lacking in giving, understanding and compassion.  It is shameful that there are those who will condemn by using the Lord, thy God as a means to pass judgement. 

Many times in history the Lord has been an excuse to condemn others.  We must realize that this a disease.  A hidden ignorance.  A form of control. 

Homosexuality is a non-issue.  The lack of acceptance of our diversity and our humanity is the real issue.  True believers of the Lord, Jesus Christ focus on His wisdom and His love and not on condemnation and ignorance. 

I am a Christian, not a Paulian.  I read the entire Bible, not just parts of it.  Of course, Jesus would say nothing about gays not entering heaven, you said that was not "invented" until the 18th century.  And I believe in "Loving God with your whole heart. . ." you will in turn follow his divine direction.  So, are you saying that repentence is not necessary? 

  

I'm using the NIV, but the King James has it as well when the KJ uses fornication, it is referring to the sexual act between two people who are not married.  Since the Bible refers to a marriage as being between a man and a woman, this act is simply not possible.  Now, I understand there are people who simply live together with others of the same sex and do not perform any sexual act, but that is not the case for the majority. 

  

Why should "catamite" be condemned?  According to your ideas, as long as they "Love God with their whole heart. . ." they will get eternal life.  Gosh, I could do just about anything and get eternal life?  Ya, I don't think so. 

  

I believe, as well (though you may call me a Genisisian) that God created Adam and saw that nothing was fit for his companion other than the creation of a woman has GREAT significance. 

  

Who is bickering?  I'm certainly not.  I just am so sorry that people are deceived by the ways of satan.  It is very easy to fall victim to  his ways.  I, on the other hand, am FAR from being a victim.  Yet more a victor.  Jesus Christ allows this for me.  And to answer your last question, I'm CLEARLY a Christian. 

  

tselb2 

Um....the woman didnt just TURN gay after 15 years, she always was gay. Gay people want so badly just to live a "normal" lifestyle and she thought that getting married and having "well adjusted" (why wouldnt they be?) kids would help her. But in the end, she still wasnt fullfilled and she perhaps was sick of living a lie. Understand? You would be suprised of how many millions of people out there are married to the opposite sex and are still secretly gay. Society is so unaccepting of gays and thats probably why it took this particular woman so long to "come out". Hope this answers your question.