Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Unfortunately, I was unable to watch the entire show today, but I was happy to view the most meaningful aspect.  I witnessed the Priest  speaking about Exodus, etc.  I am saddened and angered every time I hear about such programs.  As a 20 year old, Roman Catholic lesbian, I understand that support groups are formed for many different reasons, but I firmly believe that this is an unhelpful type of support.  Personally, I have been struggling with my sexuality on so many different levels, and the most difficult part of this whole battle is dealing with my family and my relationship with God.  I could continue babbling about my personal war in relation to my sexuality, but most importantly you should know why I've decided to post this message. 

  

About one month ago I was in a very fragile state (depressed/suicidal) when my Mother told me about this group called Exodus.  She stated, "oh, I heard of this group on tv that might help you, it's called Exodus...", my response was, "ok, I'll take a look online."  Prior to hearing my Mother speak of this, I never heard of such an outrageous program.  I was shocked and disgusted when I read the website.  My question is:  How could people call themselves "religious people" when they are trying to transform a specific group of people into persons who they feel are better human beings?  Basically, it appears to be a cult.  I may sound extreme, but I become so angry when I think about how Exodus is impacting so many lives in a negative manner.   

  

I fully understand that people are going to Exodus for help; I know that it is voluntary, but the website for Exodus appears to make promises that are truly unattainable.  I believe that the people of Exodus, or the "recovered homosexuals" are fooling themselves.  They are not living true lives and are repressing their innate feelings.  

  

Thank you for seeing my view on this, and I hope to see some responses. 

  

~Lianna  

  

      

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" John 7: 53 - 8: 11

I LOVE that line..."Hate will not be rewarded, no matter it's disguise." 

  

AMEN! 

  

Consider the possibility that, just as humans come in many different shapes, sizes, and colors, we also come with different sexual orientations.  Most of the people on this planet are straight, but some are gay/lesbian, and a few others--whether straight or gay now--may very well be bisexual. Individual people are different from one another, and we ourselves are not exactly the same people we were 10 years ago, one year ago, or even yesterday.   Very little--if anything--in this world is absolutely constant; we and everything around us are always changing.   I believe that those who claim "I'm not gay anymore" are either denying an essential part of themselves because of great shame and/or frustration, or that they are inherently bisexual and have simply grown into a different phase of the lives that God intended for them from the very beginning.   

  

I've had friends of many different sexual orientations since I was a young teenager, (more than 22 years ago) and I have to emphasize the fact that none of my gay/lesbian friends WANTS to live in some sort of spotlight, be rejected by their families, or treated  differently.  I am a college-educated, active church member who understands that the Bible has been re-translated, edtited, and re-written many, many times to suit whomever was/is in power at the time, and I also realize that no single religion on this planet has an exclusive hold on the "truth."   

  

My gay and lesbian friends are intellilgent, law-abiding, tax-paying people who are devoted to their non-dysfunctional, non-abusive families. They pay their bills, they get stuck in traffic, they look forward to vacations, and they worry about our nation's future the same as nearly anyone else you may know. They are supportive friends, hard-working employees, loving (and, yes, monogamous!) partners,  and even responsible parents. (Several gay/lesbian couples I know have adopted hard-to-place children whom so many other straight "Christians" wouldn't even consider taking into their homes and their hearts.  As a professional educator, I can vouch for these couples' solid  parenting skills and their childrens' mentally, spiritually, and emotionally healthy development) 

  

The freaky images and stories that so many homophobic Americans cannot erase from their minds are merely sterotypes that get plenty of air time because they are (to some) shocking, controversial, and intriguing--BUT THEY ARE NOT ACCURATE DEPICTIONS OF MOST GAY/LESBIAN/BISEXUAL PEOPLES' LIVES.  If you don't want to be a part of the gay/lesbian community, fine--but don't fool yourself into thinking that you don't know any gays, lesbians, or bisexuals at all. 

  

To me and many of my friends, straight people preaching vehemently against homosexuality sound about as relevant as those in the dark ages who insisted that the Earth was the center of our universe...because that's "what the Bible said."  Think about it. 

  

Greetings Dr. Phil. 

  

Love your show....think your great...but don't agree with response today about the 4 year old.  

  

So what if he wants to play with "girls" toys...or dress up...he's only 4 years old !  That's called imaginary play. Get over it. This 4 year does not need therapy (agree with you on that). 

  

So what if the kid is gay...tell mom that she needs the therapy if she is afraid that her son is going to "become" gay. It doesn't work that way. Besides that...being "homophobic" is the problem here....being homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual are not "choices" or "things" that are going to absorb by osmosis !!!!!! 

  

Thanks. 

  

JBF 

 Casey, 25, is a Lesbian. Dylan, 24, is a gay male. I also have a daughter, 26, who is heterosexual, mother to two of my grand-children, AND my late life baby, Tripp, 7 - who appears to be heterosexual BUT - we don't really care what he chooses for that ONE choice in his life. We love our children because they are very loving people and very driven, artistic, loving, and successful - in every form and function I can imagine identfying.

In addition, I have several "adopted" Children whom call me "Mom" and call and visit on a regular basis - inc. spending all major holidays with us because their families have rejected them.  Also, I use to run a Group Therapy Session for Men who were literally dying from AIDS - but had been rejected by their families because they were Gay - dying or not.

For those of a closed mind and heart, I would direct you toward the very Messiah you quote:

JUDGE NOT ...  

Finding fault and being critical are some of the easiest things to do. They seem to come naturally to us. But Jesus told us not to judge "lest you be judged" (Matt. 7:1, NASB). We should obey His command. Jesus then explained why a judgmental attitude is so dangerous: "God will be as hard on you as you are on others! He will treat you exactly as you treat them" (v.2). When we judge, we invite judgment upon ourselves. The Bible says that "judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy" (James 2:13). By judging others, we hide our own hypocrisy. For example, when the religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught in sexual sin, they wanted to kill her. But Jesus responded, "If any of you have never sinned, then go ahead and throw the first stone at her" (John 8:7). Nobody threw one. God alone reserves the right to judge each person (Romans 14:4). As the Apostle Paul said, "Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, `I am the one to take revenge and pay them back'" (Romans 12:19).  

I teach Sociology. I've had my kids and their freinds come to my classes and form a panel for 50+ kids to ask questions toward. Every single time the entire "Gay" panel tries to express - "Do you actually think we would CHOOSE this for a lifestyle??" - and I've had at least five formerly prejudicial students come up to me after the class/debate - either IN or NEAR tears - saying that they'd had their eyes and heart opened.

I feel sorry for those of you who are so homophopic. May God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit have mercy on your ignorance.

(They call me) "Mom"

I am a Christain and God is my Lord and Savior, and I am Gay.  I would be nothing without God in my life.  I do not agree that you can change form being gay. People say it is a choice, and it's not. If I had a choice why would I choice a life of people hating me because I am different or hating me so much they would kill me. Always watching your back because you never know who will like the fact your gay and who would like to hurt you because your gay. I lied to myself for 25 years, saying I wasn't gay or its just a phase I will grow out of it. Praying that i want to be normal. But what is normal anyways? I was depressed all the time, always wanting to kill myself because I had this secret inside of me. I was 25 when I first started to slowly come out and each time I told someone I loved it felt like this big weight that came off of my shoulders. I have wonderful parents, that accepts who I am and just want to see me happy. I am 29 now and I have not been happier in my life. I become more open each and everyday. There are only a few family members that I have not told yet. People say the Bible say's being gay is a sin or you will go to Hell. In the book of Ruth, Ruth was with a woman, and there is another part where two men are together. God is the only one that can judge me and if people want to judge me then they can, but they are sinning just as well, because God say's not to judge people. They say we are all a part of God, God made each one of us different and in their own special way. Well I am just one of those parts just as each and everyone of you are. We are all special in our own way.

     I’m a Junior in High School and because of this I am very exposed to the issue of homosexuality on a daily basis and I have something to say too! This issue has nothing to do with religion for me because, I am not religious at all, whatsoever, nor do I claim to be. I'm so excited though that D. Phil had the guts to discuss this issue in America... finally! 

     I fully support the gay and lesbian people except for one issue that bugs me to death!  

  

     I have many friends who are lesbians and gays. Some are on the football team, some play volleyball with me, and one of my best friends is a gay cheerleader, and I don't care! My school even has a CLUB for gays and lesbians called "The Rainbow Alliance" and they all get together and protest and discuss gay rights and I think it's great that they have that resource.  

  

But the thing that gets me is that...  

  

     I really have respect for lesbians and gays that acknowledge the fact that their sexual life is only ONE part of them and it is not all of what they are. What bugs me is when people go around flaunting their sexuality as if that's all they are and that's all they have to talk about. Wearing buttons, t-shirts, patches, etc. that exploit your sexuality is not necessary. I don't wear buttons that say I'm straight, I don't wear t-shirts that tell strangers my sexuality, and I don't need a patch to prove something.  

     Your sexual life, no matter if you're gay or straight is a private matter and does not need to be the topic of conversation 24/7. People will get sick of you no matter what your sexuality is.  

That's why I adore my friends that are homosexual because that is just a small part about them. They are still very active in school and contribute to many other things than just protesting and complaining about gay rights. They play sports, they write poetry, they have jobs, etc. They don't feel the need to brag about their sexuality simply because it's viewed as controversial.  

     It's fine that your gay but don't go around pretending that that's all you are and all you can be. People will never respect you for that. You have to earn respect before people will listen to you. Go out and function like a normal human being: get a job, play some sports, get in clubs, get a degree, hang out with people of all sexualities! Be and do something more than just being gay! 

      Other than that, I really have no problems with gay/lesbian people and I respect them tremendously for having the courage to stick to who they truly feel they are, and not fear the consequences of stereotypes and judgmental people. I guess it's just growing up in the 21st century that this issue is not a big deal for me, but for people around my parents age it is a new and confusing concept to accept so just give them some slack and time to get used to the idea that homosexuality is a part of our world nowadays! 

I am also a practicing catholic.  I practice tolerance and love of all no matter what their orientation.  

  

 I would like to ask you a question.   Should man-woman couples who cannot have children not be allowed to be together either?????  Your argument is so stupid.  Also aids is not a homosexual disease.  Anybody , if the circumstances are just so, can contract aids.  Don't do drugs, don't have numerous sexual partners, these are the only ways to stay clear.  There are many hetrosexual people who have contracted aids.   

  

Your question, "what kind of God would allow that"  this question can be asked about any tragedy that occurs in the world.  Don't ask that question because then you open up a whole lot of other questions  --- What kind of God lets children be born with mental or physical disabbilities?  What kind of God lets natural disasters happen?  What kind of God lets anything happen??????  Stupid question.    

  

One further point. You say that "there is way more to life than sex".  Guess what????  There is more to life than sex.  Just because a person is gay doesn't mean that their whole world is consumed with sex no more than a hetrosexual person's world is consumed with sex.   You need to get with the program.