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Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:56:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/19/05) Sexual orientation used to be something kept hidden from family and co-workers, but now more and more people are "coming out" and finding acceptance. Anjela says her mother and sister don't support her sexual orientation, and feel she can't be Christian and gay at the same time. Can they reconcile this touchy issue? Then, two men debate whether a person can go from gay to straight, and parents of a 4-year-old boy fear their son's desire to play with dolls and wear heels means he'll grow up to be gay. Are they overreacting to his wishes to be a princess instead of a prince? Talk about gender and gay issues here.


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October 19, 2005, 2:52 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

I just finished watching the episode titled above.  I was appalled to hear the priest compare homosexuality to alcoholism.  I was wondering if he knew that alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured.  An alcoholic is always an alcoholic.  Even if their lifestyle changes, they are still going to be plagued with the desire to return to drinking.  As I understand it, alcoholics do not stop wanting alcohol, but instead, stop the drinking of alcohol.  If this is true, than the priest completely contradicted himself by comparing the two.  I thought I understood him say that homosexuality can be reversed to heterosexuality.  This would mean that alcoholics could also be reversed into people who can drink a reasonable amount, without wanting to drink as they had (their problem would be completely solved).  I have a hard time believing this.  I don't think any person with a genuine drinking problem could agree.   

  

Another problem I have found with the Catholic church is the "research findings" they base their claims on, such as the findings of the National Association for the Research and treatment of Homosexuality (NARTH).  According to Michael J. Bayly, executive coordinator of the Catholic Pastoral Committee on Sexual Minorities, the group lacks any support or credit from the wider scientific community.  The group has coined the term "same - sex attraction disorder" instead of homosexuality.  This term has yet to be accepted by any credited professional health organization. The group also states a direct correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia.  I have a hard time accepting this.  It is not only foolish to project unverified information, but arrogant as well.  I hope the Catholic church will come out with credible, verifiable information that has been proven by the scientific community before they continue to endorse these beliefs. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

          

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:52 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: jessie_07

     I’m a Junior in High School and because of this I am very exposed to the issue of homosexuality on a daily basis and I have something to say too! This issue has nothing to do with religion for me because, I am not religious at all, whatsoever, nor do I claim to be. I'm so excited though that D. Phil had the guts to discuss this issue in America... finally! 

     I fully support the gay and lesbian people except for one issue that bugs me to death!  

  

     I have many friends who are lesbians and gays. Some are on the football team, some play volleyball with me, and one of my best friends is a gay cheerleader, and I don't care! My school even has a CLUB for gays and lesbians called "The Rainbow Alliance" and they all get together and protest and discuss gay rights and I think it's great that they have that resource.  

  

But the thing that gets me is that...  

  

     I really have respect for lesbians and gays that acknowledge the fact that their sexual life is only ONE part of them and it is not all of what they are. What bugs me is when people go around flaunting their sexuality as if that's all they are and that's all they have to talk about. Wearing buttons, t-shirts, patches, etc. that exploit your sexuality is not necessary. I don't wear buttons that say I'm straight, I don't wear t-shirts that tell strangers my sexuality, and I don't need a patch to prove something.  

     Your sexual life, no matter if you're gay or straight is a private matter and does not need to be the topic of conversation 24/7. People will get sick of you no matter what your sexuality is.  

That's why I adore my friends that are homosexual because that is just a small part about them. They are still very active in school and contribute to many other things than just protesting and complaining about gay rights. They play sports, they write poetry, they have jobs, etc. They don't feel the need to brag about their sexuality simply because it's viewed as controversial.  

     It's fine that your gay but don't go around pretending that that's all you are and all you can be. People will never respect you for that. You have to earn respect before people will listen to you. Go out and function like a normal human being: get a job, play some sports, get in clubs, get a degree, hang out with people of all sexualities! Be and do something more than just being gay! 

      Other than that, I really have no problems with gay/lesbian people and I respect them tremendously for having the courage to stick to who they truly feel they are, and not fear the consequences of stereotypes and judgmental people. I guess it's just growing up in the 21st century that this issue is not a big deal for me, but for people around my parents age it is a new and confusing concept to accept so just give them some slack and time to get used to the idea that homosexuality is a part of our world nowadays! 

I so agree with you.  You seem to have yourself together at an early age.  Your parents must be very proud of you. 

  

I had a very dear friend I lost 2 years ago.  He was gay.  But, he did not feel the need to shout it to the world.  Everyone knew.  He did not try to hide it.  He often made mention of his partner at work.  He did not keep it hid.  He lived like many other so called "normal" people.  He simply lived.    

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:53 pm PDT

pray to not be gay?

Quote From: tcphaturos

  

I found today's show disturbing.  While as a Christian I am to emulate the love of Christ I also have a responsibility to express the truth and to do so lovingly. 

  

I have seen first hand the destructive forces of a homosexual lifestyle having lived with a family member that lived and totally embraced this lifestyle.  His life was dark, unhappy and he often abused drugs and alcohol to deal with the emptiness.  He attended a "gay" church and played the piano and was very involved but he never found peace.  The truth was withheld from him and in an effort to be inclusive his lifestyle was glossed over. 

  

The truth is, homosexuality is a sin, just like promiscuity, adultery, fornication.  It is not an orientation any more than choosing to kill is one.  It is a horrible bondage that appears to be just another lifestyle choice but in reality it is a slippery slope into darkness, emptiness and deception.  My uncle died gripped by this deception and never knew the joy and peace anyone can find in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  To tell someone caught in this sin that they are OK, just different and that God will understand and may have even created them this way is as devastating as telling someone sick with cancer that they are OK, just live with it, there is no need to seek a cure.  You are just as good as everyone that does not have cancer.  You have just condemned that person to death.  When we ignore the truth of God's Word and don't love enough to confront sin and show people that there is a cure, we condemn them to eternal death and separation. 

  

When one comes to Jesus Christ for forgiveness and healing of sin that person is not only forgiven but God tells us in His Word that He makes them a new person that is now no longer a slave to sin.  It is still a struggle but if one goes to God daily, seeking Him through prayer, Bible study and the support of other Christians, there is victory.  I know this to be TRUE because of my own life and testimony.  There is a cure for all sin, deception and bondage and it is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  If you are searching for the truth and want help go to www.precept..org.  They are a Bible Teaching ministry and are there to help everyone find peace, love and truth God's way.  Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life." 

  

Thanks for taking the time to read this and please pray for all those caught in this lifestyle. 

Tracee 

     I am truly sorry for your family's struggles (both the struggles of your uncle and your struggle of coming to terms with his loss). However, the problems that you equate with "homosexual lifestyle" are the problems that I struggled with before I was able to admit to myself and others that I am gay. Because of the stigma society places on being gay, I hated myself and abused myself in many ways. I did not want to be who I was because I was taught time and time again that I was sinful for having feelings that I never even invited in. Once I came to terms with being a lesbian, I have been much better able to manage other issues that have caused me unhappiness. 

  

For me, ignoring my homosexual orientation was "a slippery slope into darkness, emptiness and deception," and embracing this part of who I am allowed me to "cure" a lot of the sins I was committing against myself and those who loved me who were watching me self-destruct.  

Addiction and depression are complex, often lifelong struggles, and thus cannot be reduced to such simple statements as: "His life was dark, unhappy and he often abused drugs and alcohol to deal with the emptiness." Part of the reason unhappiness exists in the lives of gay people is caused by all of the discrimination and intolerance that we have to endure. We are all sinners(whether gay or straight), and I KNOW that my relationships with myself and God are much better now that I have come to terms with who I am. 

  

  

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:53 pm PDT

My 16 yr old Teenage stepson is Gay and we love him

My stepson announced he was gay at age 14 and none of us were surprised.  He was born this way.  His brothers are not gay.  We could see behavoirs as young as age 3 that showed he may gay.  We did not "encourage" him or "make" him gay, otherwise I'm sure his brothers would have been gay as well.  

 Raising a gay teenager is much different than raising a straight teenager and offers additional challenges.  Although loved and accepted by his family, finding societal acceptance is a different matter.  Challenges of parenting a gay son have included:
1.  Our fears he may be attacked by those who don't accept him.  He is "flamboyant" wearing makeup, nail polish and even women's blouses.
2.  He once wanted to "date"  another boy.  The boys parents didn't know their son was gay.  We were concerned about our son dating somone whose parents may not understand the nature of their relationship.  We did not allow him to date the boy.
3.  He often spends overnights at "girlfriends" houses. Initially we were concerned, but after communication with other parents, it turns out this was okay.

Our son is a cheerleader.  He started the GSA (Gay/Straight Alliance) counsel at his school.  He struggles with finding acceptance at school and in society. 

I hope that he will lead a happy, fulfilled life and that he will see that he is loved by his family and friends just as he is.

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:54 pm PDT

My son was born gay

Quote From: melgibson

I do truly believe that it is a sin in the eyes of God - being gay that is...   

Anyone can pick up a bible and read that being a homosexual is a sin in the eyes of God.  Some say they can pray and nothing happens.  Are they a born against, blood bought Christian?  If they are - then keep praying.  God has three responses, Yes, No and Wait.  Just because something does not happen when and how you want it to does not mean that God is not listening.  My question is this:  (if you are praying to God) ARE YOU LISTENING to God?  That is the larger question.  God does not make any of us gay, he did give man (woman) FREE WILL.  And this is where so many get confused.  We have free will and CHOOSE to let the devil take ahold of our hearts.   

I have gay friends.  I do not judge them, but I do not choose to hear all aspects of their lives.  I do not share my sex life with my husband with them and I expect the same respect.  I had a gay friend that chose to NOT be a part of a marriage ceremony because the government would not condone her marriage to a woman.  I do not love her as a friend any less, I just pray for her lost soul.   

Leviticus 20:13 

Romans 1:18-32 

1 Corinthians  6:9-11 

I think it is sad that society wants out youth to think it is okay to make this choice 

May God bless you all 

M G 

 My stepson was born gay.  We didn't make him gay.
 
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October 19, 2005, 2:55 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: indianasux

I am a creation of God, and I am proud.  I am also a gay woman in the middle of Catholic hypocrisy.  I do not believe in man-made religion that uses God as a means to hide its own homosexual pedophilia, and then in the same breath hate and discriminate against all who don't agree with every word these self-proclaimed "holy men" speak.  Where does their God stand on that issue?  Where is the outrage in the Catholic Church? 

  

I don't believe in religion, I believe in spirituality.  Spirituality comes in many forms of belief, not just those which Christians find righteous.  I love my fellow men and women and disapprove of all hateful and mean-spirited behavior.  I will never hurt another human being or animal but will treat all creations as sacred.  But to many, regardless of my inner love, I am an abomination in the eyes of their God.  This is why these Christians have no ground to stand on and preach their "morals". 

  

I have been in a monogamous, committed relationship for 11 years this Friday.  This is longer than both my and my partner's parents were married.  Heterosexuals have not set the bar for successful relationships or marriage and not all homosexuals are promiscuous like the first guest on today's show.  I found that guest as appalling as straight people who sleep around and are proud of it.  Sleeping around is a problem that spreads across the globe, in both gay and straight people and both men and women.   

  

I found Dr. Phil's show to be pretty worthless in shedding light on any causes.  He never spoke up about anything, he never risked alienating anyone by offering any pyschological insight about how hard it is to be homosexual in this increasingly homophobic, religious-controlled society.  The only thing positive he said for gay people is to the first guest about her not being worthless... big leap there.  How did this show help teenagers in high school struggling with who they are?  Who did this show help?  No one... it came off as depicting homosexuality as something that is curable and can be ignored amongst family members... this is so far from the truth.  I have lost complete respect for Dr. Phil.  He did not stand up for people being pyschologically abused everyday in the name of God.  God has nothing to do with it.  People do and Dr. Phil is usually about calling people on their misconceptions.  He failed today. 

  

Being gay is part of our Creator's plan and those of us strong enough to follow the path set out for us will be rewarded for our strength and courage, as will those who offer love and support.  Hate will not be rewarded, no matter its disguise. 

You would think that the only people with hate according to you are those who have a religious background. Your hate toward religion may have some justification, however, I don't remember reading where Jesus came to create a religion. Religion pure and simple is man's ways of trying to appease God. Yet in the life of Jesus we see God's way of reaching man. What was Jesus' first message? "Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." That message was to all of us whether heterosexual or homosexual. The Bible is clear that there are many heterosexual relationships that are wrong. Adultery and fornication are sins that can affect those who are heterosexual. The only sexual relationship sanctioned by God is between one woman and one man in the marriage bond. Has marriage failed in America? NO! America has failed in marriage. Just because many marriages are failing does not mean marriage is not valid. The truth is, you can't find a shread of scripture that will support the homosexual lifestyle in the original languages. You can though find several scriptures that give strong warnings to those caught up in the sin of homosexuality. Romans 1: 26-28          1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 

The word effeminate is the key word to consider in the scripture. The great hope that is found in 1 Corinthians is found with the apostle Paul says in verse 11,  "And such were some of you." 

  

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:56 pm PDT

Gay and 17

For the last umpteen years of my life I've heard people say that gay is wrong and this and that. The main argument against it is that the bible says it's wrong but history also tells us that the original bible was written in Hebrew and translated by man not God. So there's always the possibility that something went wrong through translation.  

  

Another thing I've heard is that we "choose" to be gay. I've just got one question for you when did you choose? Did some magic little guy wearing a butterfly on his head and wings on his back resembling Puck from A Midsummer's Nights Dream come up to you and say 'Do you want to be gay or straight?" If so then yeah you need to get some mental help. The answer's no right? Well thats the same for me no one came up and asked me if I wanted to be gay or not it just happened. I've been this way all my life and nothings going to change that.  

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:56 pm PDT

Wow!

Quote From: ahhyes

The Christians of this nation think they rule the world but they don't! Mother Earth has blessed us with many plants, animals, colors, cultures, beliefs, and yes! sexualities and genders! If Christians wouldn't be so nosey and hostile, maybe they could see past the gay thing and reflect on this glorious earth and realize that it is in trouble! We are sucking it dry! Stop the over-populating! Stop over-using our resources!
 That is an incredibly hypocritical statement!  You say that gays shouldn't be judged and "generalized" (and I agree), and then you go on to label Christians and generalize them in a very unfair way.  True, there are Christians that are "nosy and hostile" as you say.  But there are also atheists, Buddhists, gays, lesbians, blacks, whites...you name it, who are guilty of the same!!  I'm a Christian and I AM NOT nosy or hostile!  I mind my own business and I'm a decent person!  I don't have an enemy in the world!  Don't make such generalizations about a group of people if you don't wish to have them made about you. 
 
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October 19, 2005, 2:57 pm PDT

What's the big deal about being Gay/

   What's the big deal about being Gay? That is the question I hear the most at public high schools.  Being gay is a huge deal! Most people don't want to hear the negative points of view about homosexulaity because not matter how nice they may sound, people will think they are wrong and hateful.  In my opinion, I think homosexuality is wrong and yes it does go against the Bible.  The Bible tells use try to become like Jesus Christ and Christ I know was not gay. God wants us to become closer with him and build a relationship with him. For it is written,"9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders."1 Corinthians 6:9. 

   Some people have said "why should I confront others about their sin, when I sin myelf." The answer is accountability.  It even says in the Bible if you see someone sin confront them in private and if they commit the same sin have an elder or someone else come with you to confront them. Even though we all sin, God has given us a choice to continue sinning. (For example, If you kill someone because they raped your child does that mean you are going to continue killing every rapist you meet? No, you will realize your sin and confess to God and hold yourself accountable for your actions,you will not continue to kill. The same goes for evey sin.) Everyone sins but if we do not realize we sin and confess to God then we are going to live a sinful life and I my friend would not want to be in your shoes on the day of judgement.  

 
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October 19, 2005, 2:58 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: cassie123

what i don't see is how can people be so mean i know that people do think that the bible says it isn't right. but who are we as people to judge and not let someone be happy all you people that have a certain someone you love should never be against gays. think to all the  happiness that you have had with them. just because someone likes people of the same sex doesn't mean that they shouldn't have the right to this happiness.  and when i hear people saying that gays chose to be gay i think that is stupid because why would someone go through the pain that can be inflicted by some of the cruel people of this world. i understand when people think it is wrong but how can we be a free country when we can't chose to the full extent who we are going to marry and grow old together. i have to admit when i think of marriage i think of a man and a woman. but how fair can it be to tell some one that they love with all their hearts to give it up. if you do love someone would you be able to do it just because society said it was wrong? i know i wouldn't..  

If you have not excepted the Holy Bible as absolute truth and have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you will not understand why this lifestyle is wrong. It's not society that says it is wrong, it is the one that created us. It is however wrong for people to treat them badly.
 
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