Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

My niece has a strong sexual attraction for other women.  This is after 3 marriages (to men) and four children; she now lives with a woman. She says she did not choose to be this way, but she does love to advertise her sexuality, (an ‘in your face’ attitude) something she did not do when she was straight.

My neighbor has a strong sexual attraction for little boys.  He was married and has two children; he now lives in prison. I am sure he did not choose to be this way. Unfortunately, he did not advertise it.  

My nephew would rather have drugs and alcohol then a relationship of any kind with anyone.  He now lives in a stupor, in and out of jail, and on the streets. It is a very strong attraction. He (I guess jokingly) says, “God made me this way”, in an effort to deny responsible for his own actions.

All three of these people have intense attractions; they say they cannot resist acting on them. How can we approve of one and put the other two in jail? Another neighbor in another state beat his wife on a regular basis. He always said he was sorry and that ‘he couldn’t help it’. 

We all have things that tempt us, but if everyone gave in to every temptation, acted on every impulse and just did what ever we felt, ….well I would not want to live here.

How can any thinking person say it is OK to be a homosexual and act on it, but being a pedophile and acting on it, is not OK? Look it up in the dictionary, both are sexual ordinations: A predisposition in favor of something. I realize a three-year-old child cannot give consent, but if the person was born with that sexual predisposition in favor of small children, should we condemn him for acting on it?

The Word says, to take up your cross daily and follow Me.  We all have our crosses to bear, and no one can say theirs is more difficult then other peoples; therefore, we should excuse them for giving in.

Someone please tell me, if being born with some predilections makes it OK to act on them, then why not all of them?

Well no it is said that children are not born gay because 4/5/6y is to early to have a sexual nature, that also is true that you are not born straight because they don't have a sexual nature, the same is true for bisexual. The childs brain is not ready to cope with that yet, the earliest talking about sex begins at age 10 but in a gigly kind of way the first boy girl relationships start to form at age 12 but more in a gigly kind of way, the real sexual preference only starts in mid puberty most gays feel at age 16/17 that they do not want to seek a partner from the opposite sex. so at that point the true for life sexual preference is developt. So the age that they are ready to have sex the sexual preference matures and not sooner (study of durex in 2004 reveals that 16.9 is the time most people loose verginity) 

Well as far as I understand from gays who treid out the opposite sex it pretty much works in the same way, you just fall in love. And maybe you cannot see yourself with one of the same sex but that is something completly different, I cannot see myself making love to a man but I do not see a difference in the just falling in love part instead of choosing to fall in love. 

Anjela, 

      I think that you are just trying to cry predjudice because people won't except your life style but I sure don't see you accepting anybody elses life style!  All homosexuals have an agenda.  They are all out there crying "poor poor me!" and want everyone to feel sorry for THEIR CHOICE in life!  And yes, it is a CHOICE.  Read your Bible and what God has to say about it and it is VERY clear!  Your sister is wrong that if you accepted Jesus that you can live any way you feel like living and you will just go to heaven.  You obviously never truly wanted to surrender your ENTIRE life to Christ because if you did you could have changed a long time ago and be heterosexual today in your actions.  You have always been heterosexual inside.  God did not make you that way.  Does He love you, Of course!  He loves me too even while I was a sinner and not saved.  I chose to trust in Christ and fully surrender my entire life to him and HE changed me once I repented of my sin and asked Him to save me and change my life.  You can turn over a new leaf  by yourself over and over but ultimately you will fail every time because you can't do it on your own.  So until you are willing to admit to God that homosexuality is a sin and nothing less just like alcoholism and stealing are sins, you will never be saved and you will never be free from this sin in your life.  Don't get me wrong, your homosexuality is no worse of a sin than any other sin that anyone has ever committed.  I would be happy to give you the numerous scriptures that I know are blatently against homosexuality.  God is a God of love but He is also a just God!  I think your father dying might have had something to do with your choices.  Maybe not.  There is usually some trauma that happened in the homosexuals life.  I do not hate homosexuals, just the sin.  I love every person that God has ever created.  But God gives us all a choice whether to choose Him and His way or to go our own way.  The Bible even says that after a certain time that He will give homosexuals over to a debased mind.  Meaning He will leave you to be in the life style you choose and He will not bother you further.  Yes, you will die in your sin and spend the rest of eternity in Hell burning for eternity.  Jesus doesn't want you there so please choose Him before it is too late!  He loves you and is waiting patiently.  

My theory is - All humans are born potentially bi-sexual and yes, sexuality starts at birth.  The new born is sexual.  It is just not manifested in children the same way as during puberty, when the physical characteristics start to set in.   

Do NOT confuse sexuality with behavior.  I said children are sexual and do have sexual feelings.  I did not say that they necessarily act out in terms of what we would call "sexual acts."  Children may act out a sexual feeling in ways that we would not necessarily consider sexual.   

For instance, I know now that I felt sexual attraction in connection with males before I was 4 Yrs old. 

This is a true story:  I remember once when my 11 yr old male Cousin came to my house for a visit.  I owned a toddler's ride-about stuffed horse.  My prized possession!  My cousin took my horse away  from me and sat down on it very hard, bending the legs.  He was clearly too heavy for it and it was starting to break.  I remember being incredibly frustrated and crying at him to get off my horse  before he ruined it completely.  He remained on it bouncing and laughing.  While all this was happening, I can recall experiencing a sexual feeling, a kind of pleasure/frustration all at once, perhaps from seeing him straddling my horse.  There was absolutely no physical contact between us.  I believe an adult then came in and ordered him off the horse.  In any case, the legs were almost crushed..  Now to my 3 1/2 Yr old mind, all horses were male animals then.  I recall that after the visitors had left and I was alone in my room with the stuffed horse, I pulled my pants down and proceeded to piddle all over it, soaking and ruining the soft fabric.  I was probably punished, after all I was already potty trained, my parents having no idea why I did such a thing.  My thoroughly ruined horse was thrown out.   I definitely know now that my childish urination act was clearly, an act of masturbation.   It came about as a result of the powerlessness and frustration I felt about my prized toy, and the fact that it was ruined by another male.  The fact that the horse (in my mind) was male, probably had some significance too. 

I present that true scenario just as one example of how a toddler might act out his/her sexuality   And believe me, that act was definitely sexual.  I still remember it. 

As a Psychologist, I have been studying human sexuality for over 40 years.  I would suggest you read some of the works of Sigmund Freud regarding sexuality. 

BTW, nobody can choose to "fall in love."  Falling in love is quite involuntary and is a sexual manifestation.  One might fall in love with someone of the same sex.  Although falling in love is not love, it certainly is a prerequisite for starting a sexual relationship, that hopefully will lead to true love.  Otherwise, one might as well just have a platonic relationship with someone that is loved.  I'd suggest reading M. Scott Peck MD - "The Road Less Traveled"  for further explanations regarding what is love and what it is not love. 

What do you mean, I "did not choose to be straight"? 

Being "straight" is the NORMAL way to be born! It's the way everyone is born. YOU choose to be different and go away from that normality. 

As far as "love" being a hard concept to understand, I disagree. I'm married with children. I know what love is. The love I cannot understand is the one that happens when woman loves woman and man loves man sexually. Try as hard to accept that as I have, I don't understand that. 

I totaly agree with you !  

I think that "singling people out of God's love" is like being racist.