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Topic : 06/06 "I'm Gay, OK?"

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Created on : Friday, October 14, 2005, 03:56:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/19/05) Sexual orientation used to be something kept hidden from family and co-workers, but now more and more people are "coming out" and finding acceptance. Anjela says her mother and sister don't support her sexual orientation, and feel she can't be Christian and gay at the same time. Can they reconcile this touchy issue? Then, two men debate whether a person can go from gay to straight, and parents of a 4-year-old boy fear their son's desire to play with dolls and wear heels means he'll grow up to be gay. Are they overreacting to his wishes to be a princess instead of a prince? Talk about gender and gay issues here.


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October 21, 2005, 2:25 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: rapunzel

statistically, there is a higher rate of domestic violence in heterosexual households than in same-sex households.  

  

wouldn't that make same-sex households a healthier environment for children to grow up in? statistically speaking, I mean. 

 There are far more hetersexual household than same sex households. 






 
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October 21, 2005, 2:27 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: rapunzel

ah, I re-read and saw that term was in the original quote from someone else. sorry!. 

  

my client does know how her parents are supposed to be treated etc. she masturbates cuz it feels good, cuz it's natural to keep doing something that feels good. she doesn't know other people think it's wrong. she doesn't 'honour' her parents because she has no reason to. she doesn't understand abstract moral concepts. and it's applicable to the argument because you said 'what sins do they have to repent for?'. there's some right there. also, you didn't reply to those with develomental disabilities who are gay. to they have to burn for eternity too? and what about kids who grow up in families who are very accepting and loving and not worried about the gender of their children's lovers, as long as they are happy? what if those children grow up not knowing that some christians think it's wrong? do they get out of eternal damnation because they didn't know better? same as those with developmental disabilities? 

  

and I'm not saying menatlly challenged people chose to be born that way - no more than gay people chose to be born that way. 

 you know if you were arguing from our side, they'd be all over you for using the words mentally retarded and gay in the same paragraph.

Are you a therapist?  Christian? 
 
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October 21, 2005, 2:29 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: mommyjenna

 I think it's rather strange that a toddler feels a sense of frustration and sexual pleasure while someone destroys his favourite toy.  Does anyone else find that odd?

 I also find it even more strange that the toddler would then pee on his favorite toy as an act of 'masturbation".

I've been a foster parent for three years and I've never seen any child act out sexually except the ones who'd been sexually abused.

Children just don't think that way unless they've been exposed to it. 

I have a degree in early childhood education - young children (esp toddlers) masturbate. it feels good, they do it. when they get closer to school age, and they've internalized the shame-filled family and society they're growing up in, who teach them that sexuality is sin, they quit doing it. or at least they quit doing it when others are around. then they hit puberty and all the shame they've internalized comes back. definitely not weird for healthy children to masturbate though!
 
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October 21, 2005, 2:36 pm PDT

How about straight eye for the queer eye advice

Quote From: holyunion

A.  Gays and lesbians have children the same way infertile couples have children or have children have previous marriages. 

B.  People do not "turn gay" because of abuse--many more people would be gay if that was the case. 

What child raised in a home with 2 mommys of 2 daddys whould be "NORMAL" when he or she grows up????? 

 

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October 21, 2005, 2:37 pm PDT

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

I am very concerned about all those Christians that claim to be good Christians and get on here and talk about gays.  Wouldn't their energy be used for a better purpose if they were true followers of Jesus Christ if they could focus on ah just let me name a few. How about our homeless what about domestic violence what about child abuse what about our elderly in homes where no one goes to visit what about all of our aids Patience's how about our disabled how about all the ladies and gentlemen who are over serving in Iraq the ones that are fighting for the freedom that gives you the right to have free speech. Oh I could go on but i think you get what I am trying to say.  Couldn't those so called Christians worry more about what they can do to serve some one instead of worrying about what someones sexual preference is.  I know for a fact that most homosexuals are the most compassionate people you would ever want to meet.  I know there are some exceptions to the rule but aren't there in all walks of life.  And what makes a heterosexual think that God just chose  them to be that way does it not feel normal for you to know who you are.  Do you think that a homosexual just woke up one morning and said hey i want to make my life a living hell. I want people hurt me i want to hide my own true feelings.  I want to be harassed.  NO because just as a heterosexual knows who they are and how the feel so does a homosexual.  I believe that a true follower of Jesus Christ is one who does not judge they  want to walk with Jesus just as he did when he was here. He did not judge people he loved everyone it did not matter I think I read some where Jesus said I leave my peace My peace I give you.  I did not read any where were it said go around and condemn and hate and fight amongst yourselves. There is no one who is free from some kind of sin.  There was only one perfect person and they crucified him. 
 
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October 21, 2005, 2:38 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: mommyjenna

 Teenager probably already feels lost, doesn't fit in, isn't happy, etc because he is already believing lies that he is gay and he feels ashamed.  Would you agree?


no, I wouldn't agree. sure, teenagers feel a lot of alienation, but gay teenagers feel it more, because they have adults and school systems and governments (and certain prejudiced presidents) shaming them for their feelings. where most teenagers grow out of that lost feeling, gay teenagers get worse, because they are trying to fit into a heterosexual mold that just doesn't fit them. then they come out, accept themselves, possibly fall in love, and THEN they get to grow out of the lost, sad feeling that the straight kids grew out of years beforehand. now if only those gay kids lived in a society that accepted them as they were, if olnly they had parents who accepted them, if only they had a god that accepted them, if only they lived in a country that without homophobic laws...if only they were allowed to be themselves, they wouldn't kill themselves so much more often than the straight kids that society does love and accept.
 
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October 21, 2005, 2:39 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: mommyjenna

 There are far more hetersexual household than same sex households. 






I'm talking about percentages, not counting individuals. a higher percentage of hetero households deal with domestic violence.
 
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October 21, 2005, 2:42 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: mtnlady1

Romans 1:21-31 

  

  

The key to these passages is the word "natural". But first the story for those who are not familier with it.  In these versus we see that there is a group of people who turn away from God. From this point on their lives begin to spiral downward and they commit all sorts of sins. One of which is turning from what is “natural” for them to that which is “unnatural”.

   

 

The issue here revolves around the word “natural” which is derived from two Greek words phusikos (Strong's #5446) and phusis (Strong's #5449). These words literally mean that which is a persons "natural disposition" and something that comes "instinctively" to them. In other words, it is who you are naturally; without reprogramming, counseling, or any other form of behavioral modification that attempts to change your behavior to that which society has deemed acceptable.

   

 

You ask any gay person what their natural sexual orientation is and they won’t even hesitate to tell you that being gay is. The problem is of course when you discuss the issue with a heterosexual person. Unfortunately many times people who belong to the majority tend to think of themselves as the ‘norm’ and therefore what is ‘natural’. Everyone else falls into another category altogether and in some cases is considered even slightly abnormal. 

 

  

This point was illustrated best to me by a story my Grandmother used to tell me. In her day all the children were expected to be right handed. Anything else was considered slightly abnormal and therefore undesirable. Because of this if children showed a natural propensity to use their left hand they were repeatedly encouraged and then required to use their right hand. It wasn’t until years later when they realized that roughly ten percent of all children were naturally left handed that there were calls for this practice to stop. In spite of this, some time passed before the more forward thinking schools allowed left handed children to be who they were naturally without attempting to change their writing habits. Now day’s left-handed children are seen as just another everyday variation.

  

Our sexual orientation is no different. The vast majority of our population is predominately heterosexual in nature  (approx. 90-95%) with the remaining minority being homosexual (approx. 5-10%). Researchers have found that these percentages remain pretty much the same across all racial and cultural lines. Varying only by the amount of tolerance or intolerance a particular society has for such differences.  

 

Another key point in Paul’s story is that the people turned away from God FIRST and THEN began living a sinful ‘lifestyle’. If homosexuality is a sin. By this description we should see that every homosexual person first turned away from God and THEN became a homosexual. Yet I’ve seen everything but. I’ve met numerous Christians who were gay. Some were saved before they came to grips with their sexuality. Some were saved after they “came out”. There is no common denominator. I can only conclude that ones sexual orientation has nothing to do with ones relationship with God. 

  

Another important point to keep in mind is what Jesus taught us concerning those who have ‘fallen away’ from God. That being that those who are separated from God will envariably exhibit the full gambit of bad spiritual “fruit” in keeping with who they serve. Jesus said that “a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.” (Matthew 7:18) Therefore “by their fruits you will know them.” (Matthew 7:20)  

  

  

When I met my first Christian gay woman I knew something was a miss with the Church’s doctrine concerning homosexuals. Here standing before me was a person who professed Jesus Christ as their lord and savior and exhibited in their life the full plethoria of “good fruit” that Paul described in Galatians 5:22-23. How could this be? According to Jesus good fruit could not be produced on such a “bad tree”. If homosexuality was a terrible sin that separated us from God it was physically and spiritually impossible for this woman to be standing before me and yet she was. 

  

 

Only one conclusion remained. That being that ones sexual orientation was not, in and of itself, a sin. It was instead just another variation in God’s grand scheme of diversity and as such we should not reject it merely because it was different. 

 

Note: There is a much more thorough discussion of Romans and the other 'anti-gay' passages on the web site www.gaychurch.org which is a sister site of Justin's. Check out the section "Gay and Christian?" there you will find 3 excellent series of articles on the matter. One from E T Sundby the author of "Calling the Rainbow Nation Home" another from Justin the author of the web site truthsetfree.com and another from Bruce Lowe a retired (straight) Baptist minister and a theological school teacher. 

 KKK members claim they are Christians and in good standing with God and we all know how wrong they are.

Jim Jones' clan, before they died, beared a lot of good 'fruit'.

I agree that the word 'natural' is important.  However equally imporant is the use of the word "unnatural"

The bible says that they turned from what is natural, (men with women) to what is unnatural, (men with me.)

 I think the scriptures are very clear because both words, natural and unnatural are used. 



 

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October 21, 2005, 2:44 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: rapunzel

ok....I don't think this is gonna go anywhere. all of your claims are based on completely unsupported, subjective beliefs. I can't argue with that. that's like me coming up with a random opinion "it's natural to be purple, all people should be purple because i am", then tryna have a discussion based on that. it's not logical, you can'y base a discussion on it. 

  

your underlying beliefs seem to be:  the definition of 'natural' is your personal experience. I can't really argue with you if you don't believe in diversity of experience. how do you know boys aren't naturally attracted to other little boys? because you said so? I'm sorry, but that just isn't enough evidence for me.  

we don't have a definition of 'natural' to work with here. 

  

you say you were born hetero, and that makes it natural. I'm gonna assume by the way you're talking that you're white, so please excuse me if my assumtion is wrong. but, if you being straight makes that natural, then is it only natural to be white because you are? if it's unnatural to be gay, because you weren't born gay, is it unnatural to be asian, because you weren't born asian? 

  

as far as america being homophobic, my point was, wouldn't it be easier for all the people born straight, to just stay straight, rather than choosing to be gay and then 'pretending' they were born  

gay? why go to the trouble? 

  

you said this: 

"If people were born homo, then half of our population would be gay. Right? " 

  

where did that come from? again, you're making up random thoughts and using them as thought they are logic, or supported fact. people are born asian, doesn't mean half the population is asian. people are born deaf, doesn't mean half the population is deaf. why would you say half the population should be homo if people are born homo? 

  

I am soooo lost.   

"you say you were born hetero, and that makes it natural. I'm gonna assume by the way you're talking that you're white, so please excuse me if my assumtion is wrong. but, if you being straight makes that natural, then is it only natural to be white because you are? if it's unnatural to be gay, because you weren't born gay, is it unnatural to be asian, because you weren't born asian?  

   

as far as america being homophobic, my point was, wouldn't it be easier for all the people born straight, to just stay straight, rather than choosing to be gay and then 'pretending' they were born   

gay? why go to the trouble?  

   

you said this:  

"If people were born homo, then half of our population would be gay. Right? "  

   

where did that come from? again, you're making up random thoughts and using them as thought they are logic, or supported fact. people are born asian, doesn't mean half the population is asian. people are born deaf, doesn't mean half the population is deaf. why would you say half the population should be homo if people are born homo?"  

  

This is where I get lost.  

  

First of all, ALL of what I say is  MY OPINION. Unless I mention it, I don't have 100 percent proof that what I saying is scientifically true. Is there any scientific proof that is 100 percent sure that homosexuals are born the way they are? If there isn't then you too, are speaking out of your own opinion. And, we can also say that they are "unsupported, subjective beliefs". Everyone is basing their opinion here and basing their own discussion on it. I'm not trying to convert you to my belief system, I'm only expressing it. 

  

Where you said, "if it's unnatural to be gay, because you weren't born gay, is it unnatural to be asian, because you weren't born asian?", people are born asian or any other race, right? They don't suddenly become it in their mid-twenties, right? okay. What I said was "people are born asain, etc." They don't choose what race their born into. Homos are not born that way. They choose what they want with their lives.  

  

Second, the fact that I believe that boys are naturally attracted to girls and vice-versa is based on the fact that there are more heterosexuals in the world that homosexuals, and that tells me that more people are born straight and turn to homosexuality than the other way around. Also, we need male and female to create children. God commands us to multiply and replenish the earth. Why would He make us naturally attracted to the same sex if He knew that we would be breaking this commandment out of our own wills? Instead, he made us attracted to one another (opposite gender) to have a family and have children. 

  

As far as America being homophobic, my point was this. I don't believe people "pretend" to be gay. They really are. But your question was, why don't they just stay straight rather than choosing to be gay. Because, they become curious with homosexuality, experiment, act on it, and become addicted. They can't help but become addicted. They'd apparently rather keep doing what they're doing because they like it. 

  

What I meant with my statement of half of our population being gay if you were born gay, is, doesn't God say all people should be equal? Why would he "make" more heterosexuals that homos if He really did make them that way. Wouldn't he make them an equal number if He wanted us to accept them more? Wouldn't He specifically say that homosexuality is completely acceptable in the Bible? I've read people quoting passages from the Bible that are clearly against homosexuality, but pro-gays and gays keep twisting those words and countering them with "thou shalt love everyone". Why can't people just accept that what they're doing is wrong? That doesn't mean they have to stop, just acknowledge that their sinning by living the lifestyle they're living and making a sincere effort to turn their life back around. 

  

  

P.S. I'm not white. 

 
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October 21, 2005, 2:44 pm PDT

10/19 "I'm Gay, OK?"

Quote From: mtnlady1

"I also have a problem with the Bible being taken out of context. "  

  

-- So do I. 

  

" We just keep hearing the same thing about 'hate' 'close-minded' etc." 

  

-- How else do you describe folks who believe their intrepretation of Scripture is the only intrepreation out there? Worse yet, if you or someone else believes Scripture is saying something else then you are labeled as "believing lies and manipulations" or taking Scriptures "out of context" 

  

" Yes, I've studied the scriptures and they've been posted here a few times by people but no responses on them." 

  

-- Perhaps there are no responses because people have things to do and it takes awhile for their comments to be posted. Or worse yet - they believe you are close minded and only label others with differing opinions as believing in "lies and manipulations". Learning new things requires honest dialog and an open mind. 

  

Jenna if you want to discuss the Scriptures I have no problem with that. Where do you want to begin? The story of Sodom or in the New Testament? Your choice. 

 Thank you for being willing to discuss this. 

How about Romans 1:24-32

I don't have much more time tonight but I'll eventually come back for your response.
 
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